In this episode of the Evolving Love podcast, we dive into one of the most common accusations aimed at non-monogamous people: are we actually narcissists? We unpack the way the word “narcissist” gets thrown around online and in relationship culture, and explore whether non-monogamy is genuinely selfish or whether it can actually require deeper empathy, accountability and communication. Along the way, we reflect on our own experiences with validation, jealousy, manipulation, admiration, social media culture and the messy reality of being human.

We talk about the difference between healthy admiration and narcissistic validation, why modern social media increasingly rewards performative vulnerability, and whether non-monogamy exposes narcissism more clearly… or simply gets blamed for dynamics that exist everywhere.

Evolving Love Links:

Website | Instagram | Substack | Youtube | Retreat

Dive Deeper

Evolving Love Retreat

Friday 18th Sept - Sunday 20th Sept 2026

Yass Valley, New South Wales, Australia

In 2026, the Evolving Love Retreat opens to all.

Whether you’re in a couple, throuple, or exploring solo, this retreat is for you.

In this episode, we explore one of the biggest questions we hear: is non-monogamy actually right for you?

We break it down into three parts, first looking at the reasons you probably shouldn’t open your relationship, signs you might be ready to start exploring, and finally we share what it feels like when you are ready to start exploring non-monogamy.

We explore the red flags, the green lights, and the deeper questions that reveal whether opening your relationship will expand your connection or expose what’s already not working.

Evolving Love Links:

Website | Instagram | Substack | Youtube | Retreat

Today’s conversation is deeply personal for us and one that features a unique, open-minded and compassionate perspective from our guest.

We’re joined by Dr. Sandra Webster, an educational leader, former school principal across three different countries, and more recently the author of the book “Creating Family-School Partnerships”.

In this conversation, we explore what true inclusion looks like for families who don’t fit the traditional mould, how schools can better understand the reality of diverse home lives, and why partnership between parents and educators is essential.

We also dive into power, communication, and what it takes to create environments where every child and every family feel like they genuinely belong.

Sandra Webster Links:

Sandra's Book

Evolving Love Links:

Website | Instagram | Substack | Youtube

In this episode, we reflect on what it has been like to take our relationship into the public eye after appearing on SBS’s Insight, where we spoke about jealousy, envy, and compersion. What followed was a flood of online commentary, much of it critical. We unpack what it feels like to have our relationship reduced to a two-minute clip and judged at scale, and we explore why people feel so certain in their opinions about something they don’t fully understand.

We explore how judgment is a natural human response, but how the way it’s expressed matters, and how much of what people say is actually a reflection of their own fears, experiences, or conditioning around relationships. We also share how we each process criticism differently, one of us feeling largely unaffected, the other needing to work through it more consciously. Through it all, we come back to what grounds us, our relationship, our values, and our sense of self, and why continuing to have these conversations publicly still feels important, even when it invites criticism.

Evolving Love Links:

Website | Instagram | Substack | Youtube | Retreat

Today’s conversation opens up a wider reflection on modern gender discourse and and whether some narratives unintentionally deepen the divide between men and women rather than bringing them together. We explore what it means to hold space for the realities of inequality while still imagining a future where men and women move forward in partnership rather than opposition. We also discuss Married At First Sight, dating culture and explore the concept of arranged marriage.

Evolving Love Links:

Website | Instagram | Substack | Youtube | Retreat

In today’s episode we sit down with Fer from the Polycurious Podcast to unpack a story that began with a first date in New York and unfolded into a powerful lesson about jealousy, veto power, honesty, and growth.

We share openly about the moment Abbey felt triggered when Liam and Fer connected, how unspoken feelings led to a quiet veto, and what it took to circle back a year later with truth and repair. It’s a vulnerable look at what really happens inside non-monogamous relationships when values and emotions collide.

We also dive into Fer’s “Mono-Poly” relationship with her now fiancé Seth, a one-sided open relationship where she is non-monogamous and he is monogamous. From pacing opening up intentionally, to navigating jealousy without shame, to redefining compersion and “don’t ask, don’t tell,” this episode explores what relationship by design truly looks like.

Fer’s Links:

Instagram | Website | Polycurious Podcast w/ Seth

Evolving Love Links:

Website | Instagram | Substack | Youtube | Retreat

Today we are joined by the “Peri Godmother”, Australian TV Journalist Shelly Horton who has written the book “I’m Your Peri Godmother: A happily ever after guide to kicking perimenopause in the ovaries.”

With a 30+ year media career spanning ABC, Channel Seven, Fairfax Media and ET America, Shelly has appeared weekly on Channel Nine’s TODAY and TODAY EXTRA for over a decade and is also the founder of ShellShocked Media.

In this episode Shelly shares deeply from her own experience with peri. It is humorous, at times heartbreaking, uplifting and a conversation that we all need to be having.

Shelly Horton’s Links:

Instagram | Website | Shelly’s Book

Evolving Love Links:

Website | Instagram | Substack | Youtube

If this episode resonates with you, please share it far and wide!

In this episode, we dive headfirst into the world of hot wifing and hot husbanding, unpacking what these dynamics actually are and why they can feel so electrifying. We talk openly about erotic charge, compersion, possession, and play, exploring how fantasy and power can exist inside consensual, loving relationships without contradicting autonomy or feminist values.

We also explore the practical and emotional realities of these dynamics: how to talk to a partner about it, what makes someone a good third, where things can go wrong, and why communication, enthusiasm, and consent are non-negotiable.

Evolving Love Links:

Website | Instagram | Substack | Youtube

In today’s episode we talk about entering midlife without the stereotype of a meltdown. We explore grief for past versions of ourselves, tenderness for who we’re becoming, and how aging changes desire, ambition, creativity, and intimacy. We talk about perimenopause, slowing down, recalibrating expectations, and what it means to grow older together without panic or denial.

Evolving Love Links:

Website | Instagram | Substack | Youtube

Resources From Episode:

From Strength To Strength - Arthur C. Brooks

Imperfects Podcast - Why Does Life Feel Harder at 40?

In our final episode of the year we discuss 2025 and some of our favourite podcast guests of the year, our plans for the New Year, the ethics of sending old selfies and so much more...

Here are links to the episodes mentioned in this episode:

Dr. Emma Phillips - Sexy Selfies

Evan Buckley - Cults

Dr. Rob Brooks - AI

Evolving Love Links:

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See you in 2026!!