In today’s episode we sit down with Fer from the Polycurious Podcast to unpack a story that began with a first date in New York and unfolded into a powerful lesson about jealousy, veto power, honesty, and growth.

We share openly about the moment Abbey felt triggered when Liam and Fer connected, how unspoken feelings led to a quiet veto, and what it took to circle back a year later with truth and repair. It’s a vulnerable look at what really happens inside non-monogamous relationships when values and emotions collide.

We also dive into Fer’s “Mono-Poly” relationship with her now fiancé Seth, a one-sided open relationship where she is non-monogamous and he is monogamous. From pacing opening up intentionally, to navigating jealousy without shame, to redefining compersion and “don’t ask, don’t tell,” this episode explores what relationship by design truly looks like.

Fer’s Links:

Instagram | Website | Polycurious Podcast w/ Seth

Evolving Love Links:

Website | Instagram | Substack | Youtube | Retreat

Today we are joined by the “Peri Godmother”, Australian TV Journalist Shelly Horton who has written the book “I’m Your Peri Godmother: A happily ever after guide to kicking perimenopause in the ovaries.”

With a 30+ year media career spanning ABC, Channel Seven, Fairfax Media and ET America, Shelly has appeared weekly on Channel Nine’s TODAY and TODAY EXTRA for over a decade and is also the founder of ShellShocked Media.

In this episode Shelly shares deeply from her own experience with peri. It is humorous, at times heartbreaking, uplifting and a conversation that we all need to be having.

Shelly Horton’s Links:

Instagram | Website | Shelly’s Book

Evolving Love Links:

Website | Instagram | Substack | Youtube

If this episode resonates with you, please share it far and wide!

In this episode, we dive headfirst into the world of hot wifing and hot husbanding, unpacking what these dynamics actually are and why they can feel so electrifying. We talk openly about erotic charge, compersion, possession, and play, exploring how fantasy and power can exist inside consensual, loving relationships without contradicting autonomy or feminist values.

We also explore the practical and emotional realities of these dynamics: how to talk to a partner about it, what makes someone a good third, where things can go wrong, and why communication, enthusiasm, and consent are non-negotiable.

Evolving Love Links:

Website | Instagram | Substack | Youtube

In today’s episode we talk about entering midlife without the stereotype of a meltdown. We explore grief for past versions of ourselves, tenderness for who we’re becoming, and how aging changes desire, ambition, creativity, and intimacy. We talk about perimenopause, slowing down, recalibrating expectations, and what it means to grow older together without panic or denial.

Evolving Love Links:

Website | Instagram | Substack | Youtube

Resources From Episode:

From Strength To Strength - Arthur C. Brooks

Imperfects Podcast - Why Does Life Feel Harder at 40?

In our final episode of the year we discuss 2025 and some of our favourite podcast guests of the year, our plans for the New Year, the ethics of sending old selfies and so much more...

Here are links to the episodes mentioned in this episode:

Dr. Emma Phillips - Sexy Selfies

Evan Buckley - Cults

Dr. Rob Brooks - AI

Evolving Love Links:

Website | Instagram | Substack | Youtube

See you in 2026!!

Evolving Lovers!! 100 episodes of the Evolving Love Podcast!!!

To celebrate, we invited back one of our all-time favourite guests: Dr. Chris Ryan, author of Sex at Dawn, Civilized to Death, and host of Tangentially Speaking.

In this milestone episode, we dive deep into what it means to love, to be seen, and to navigate desire in a rapidly changing world. Chris discusses why humans are fundamentally non-monogamous, why monogamy can still be a meaningful choice, and how shame, safety, novelty, and honesty shape our erotic lives. We also explore how AI will transform intimacy and whether social conditioning distorts our instincts.

For us, it is the perfect way to mark 100 episodes of the Evolving Love podcast.

Thank you for being here with us. ❤️

Chris Ryan Links:

Website

Substack / Podcast

Instagram

In this episode, Liam and I sit down to unpack what we’ve been calling “the silent load”….the unseen, unspoken work that keeps relationships and families running smoothly.

We talk about the four types of invisible load that show up in love: the physical, emotional, mental, and relational loads. From who remembers to buy the groceries, to who plans the date nights or initiates the tough conversations, we explore how these patterns form, what they mean, and why they can feel so heavy.

Evolving Love Links:

Website | Instagram | Substack

What happens when a married, polyamorous couple goes on a first date with artificial intelligence?

In this episode we introduce our new “girlfriend” — Olivia, an AI companion built through ChatGPT’s voice mode — and take her on a virtual first date.We talk attraction, jealousy, and boundaries as Olivia flirts, sets limits, and asks tough questions about love, consent, and communication.

After the date ends, we unpack the emotional and ethical fallout — from erotic AI fantasies to whether falling for a chatbot could ever count as cheating.

This episode blurs the line between human and digital intimacy, asking:

Can an AI girlfriend feel real?

What happens when machines mirror desire?

Is emotional connection without a body still love?

Evolving Love Links:

Website | Instagram | Substack

Lily Allen has dropped her new album West End Girl. This record is a brutally honest breakup album about her open marriage with actor David Harbour, and has put non-monogamy back into the cultural Zeitgeist.

In this episode, we discuss

* Is Lily Allen’s “p*^sy palace” anthem empowering or exploitative?

* What are the ethics of writing about your ex?

* Why do female rage albums hit so hard?

* Does this record hurt or help how non-monogamy is seen?

* And… who exactly is Madeline?

From kink-shaming to compersion, privacy to power, we discuss the tension between honesty, art, and the stories we tell about love.

We also mention the Architectural Digest Tour of Lily and David’s House and this brilliant Substack article by Jack Cullen.

Evolving Love Links:

Website | Instagram | Substack

This week, Abbey and Liam unpack the difference between jealousy and envy — and how those feelings show up even in the most secure relationships. What starts as a story about a paddle boarding invitation turns into an honest look at FOMO, friendship, and the desire to keep creating “firsts” together after more than a decade of marriage.

Evolving Love Links:

Website | Instagram | Substack