Faith & Feelings

In this episode, I’m sharing something that feels both really right and really hard to say out loud.

After years of showing up weekly, I’ve recognized that I don’t have the space I want to give this podcast. Not just time, but energy, creativity, and depth. And I care too much about what we’re cultivating here to keep showing up in a way that feels rushed or stretched thin.

So I’m shifting this podcast into seasonal series.

This conversation is about learning to let my limits be real. Not something to push past, but something to listen to. I also close with a reflection I wrote called A Liturgy for Limits. 

The podcast returns June 15 with a new summer series. Until then, you can connect with me on Instagram. Thank you for being here.

What does emotional safety actually look like in real life? 

We use that language all the time — “I don’t feel safe” — but it often holds a wide range of experiences, from true relational harm to simple discomfort or vulnerability. In this episode, we slow that phrase down and explore the difference. Drawing on insights from author and psychiatrist Curt Thompson, we unpack why emotional safety isn’t about always feeling calm or at ease, but about the ability to stay connected, even in moments of tension, uncertainty, or emotional exposure.

We also walk through six signs of emotional safety in friendships. If you’ve ever wondered what emotional safety actually looks like in real life, not just in theory, this episode will help you name it, recognize it, and move toward it. I hope you’ll listen in.

Thought-provoking quotes: 

“We often collapse a whole spectrum of emotional experiences into the word ‘unsafe,’ and when we do that, we lose clarity about what’s actually happening inside us.” - Taylor Joy Murray

“Safety is not the absence of activation. It’s the presence of connection inside it: the ability to stay with yourself and with someone else, even when what you’re feeling isn’t calm or easy.” - Taylor Joy Murray

Key words:

emotional safety, relationships, friendship, connection, conflict, vulnerability, attachment, self-awareness, Curt Thompson, confidence, growth, trust, intimacy, emotions, listening, honesty

The depth of our relationships is often shaped by the depth of our communication. Not just what we say, but how we say it...and even more than that, why we say it.

Communication isn’t just a skill we learn. it’s something that’s been formed in us. Through our stories, our families, our attachment, the environments that shaped us long before we had language for any of it.

In today’s conversation, I’m joined by therapist and author Jason VanRuler to explore the different communication patterns we tend to fall into, how those patterns are formed, and what it looks like to grow in self-awareness so that our friendships can actually deepen. We also talk about hard conversations: why they matter, why they’re so difficult, and how learning to step into them can become one of the most meaningful pathways to connection. I hope you'll listen in.

Check out Jason's new book Discovering Your Communication Type ⁠here⁠.

Thought-provoking quotes:

“Our ability to have relationships hangs on our ability to communicate.” - Jason VanRuler

“Some of us are starters in relationships, and some of us are sustainers...but lasting relationships require depth. Depth requires self-awareness, and the ability to understand where someone else is coming from.” - Jason VanRuler

“A good communicator understands themselves. A great communicator understands other people.” - Jason VanRuler

Key words:

communication, relationships, friendship, connection, conflict, vulnerability, attachment, self-awareness, communication styles, communication patterns, growth, trust, intimacy, emotions, listening, honesty, Jason VanRuler

Vulnerability is often talked about as openness, but what if it’s actually about capacity?

In this episode, we continue our series on friendships by exploring what it really takes to share our inner world with one another in a meaningful way.

Drawing from Dr. David Schnarch’s work on the Four Points of Balance, we look at vulnerability not just as something we do, but as something we practice within relationship. From developing a Solid Flexible Self, to cultivating a Quiet Mind & Calm Heart, to practicing Grounded Responding and Meaningful Endurance, this episode unpacks how we stay rooted in ourselves while building deeper, more honest friendships.

I invite us to rethink vulnerability, not as raw exposure, but as a lived, relational balance that shapes the way we show up in our friendships.

Thought-provoking quotes:

“For every one of us, vulnerability has told a story in our lives...not always directly, but through our experiences. Through the moments we’ve shared something real, and how those moments were received.” - Taylor Joy Murray

“We all carry an inner world: a rich, complex web of thoughts, feelings, and experiences that shapes who we are. But expressing that inner world, learning how to put it into words and share it with someone else, takes time and practice.” - Taylor Joy Murray

“Vulnerability isn’t just about being open. It’s about being present. It’s about staying connected to yourself while also staying connected to someone else.” - Taylor Joy Murray

Key words:

friendship, authentic relationships, emotional safety, community, vulnerability, loneliness, connection, intimacy, curiosity, authenticity, personal growth, spiritual formation, courage, compassion, self-awareness

How do we actually cultivate deeper friendships? The kind where we don’t have to perform, hide, or carry the weight of our lives alone?

In this episode, we begin a new series on soul friendships: relationships marked by honesty, presence, and a shared attentiveness to God’s work in our lives. But before we talk about how to build them, we start with something more honest: the tension so many of us feel between our longing to be known and our instinct to hide.

We also unpack what soul friendships really are, where the idea comes from, and the key markers that set them apart…from authenticity and openness to a lack of agenda and a shared curiosity about where God is at work. These kinds of friendships don’t just support our lives. They shape them. And they become spaces where we are seen, formed, and invited into deeper connection with both God and others.

Thought-provoking quotes:

“Love doesn’t actually allow for that kind of hiding. Love invites our whole selves and our whole stories out into the light.” - Taylor Joy Murray

“We were made for spaces where the broken and the beautiful parts of our lives can be held together, without fear of being too much or not enough.” - Taylor Joy Murray

“Spiritual friendships are not built on performance, but on a kind of self-giving love that has its source in God.” - Taylor Joy Murray

“Friendship becomes a kind of relational mirror: a space where we come to know ourselves more truthfully because we are seen, reflected, and responded to by another person.” - Taylor Joy Murray

Key words:

friendship, authentic relationships, emotional safety, community, vulnerability, loneliness, connection, intimacy, curiosity, authenticity, personal growth, spiritual formation, courage, compassion, self-awareness

In this episode, I invite us into a guided time of imaginative prayer — a contemplative practice rooted in the early church mothers and fathers that helps us encounter God in a personal, embodied way.

Together, we step into a crowded home in Luke 5, where a group of friends carries someone they love to Jesus. As we enter this scene, we slow down, engage our senses, and notice what stirs within us as we witness their persistence, their love, and the vulnerability of being seen and known.

I hope you'll join me as we walk onto the scene of Luke 5:17–20, 24–26 and ask the Spirit to speak to us through this story.

Key words:

friendship, authentic relationships, emotional safety, imaginative prayer, guided reflection, vulnerability, loneliness, connection, intimacy, curiosity, authenticity, personal growth, spiritual formation, courage, compassion, self-awareness

I’ve been thinking a lot about friendship lately. Not the surface-level kind, but the kind that actually sees you. The kind that knows the messy, unedited parts of your life…and stays.

In my own life and in my work with clients, I keep noticing the same patterns: we hold back, self-edit, and worry we’re “too much.” Beneath those fears, though, is a quiet longing: to be known, understood, and truly seen.

In this new series, we’ll explore that longing and the courageous work it takes to step into deeper friendship. Through conversations with guests and reflections from my own work as a therapist, we’ll talk about vulnerability, emotional safety, and the skills that help deepen relationships.

Key words:

friendship, authentic relationships, emotional safety, vulnerability, loneliness, connection, intimacy, curiosity, authenticity, personal growth, spiritual formation, courage, compassion, self-awareness, 

Most of us learn early in life who we need to be in order to survive. We adopt roles and masks that help us belong and stay safe. But often, somewhere along the way, the soul initiates a crisis. The strategies that once worked begin to feel constricting, and we’re invited to look beneath the roles we’ve been playing.

In this final episode of our Why Does My Healing Matter? series, I explore how healing expands our awareness, creating space between reaction and response. Because healing isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about gaining the freedom to choose connection, presence, and curiosity in the moments that once pulled us back into survival.

Thought-provoking quotes: 

“Healing doesn’t happen by avoiding the things that activate us. It happens through them. The charge around the pain lessens when something different happens in the very moments that once triggered us.” - Taylor Joy Murray

“Every time someone is glad to be with you in a moment that once triggered shame or defensiveness, your nervous system learns something new: connection is safe here.” - Taylor Joy Murray

“Maybe healing is simply choosing, in small moments, to stay. To stay present in your body, to stay curious instead of certain, and to stay connected instead of cutting off.” - Taylor Joy Murray

“Most of life isn’t lived in dramatic breakthroughs. It’s lived in ordinary moments of tension: misunderstandings, disappointments, and hard conversations. And underneath those moments is a quiet question: will I move toward survival, or toward connection?” - Taylor Joy Murray

Key words:

healing, trauma, personal growth, mental health, nervous system regulation, self awareness, emotional health, spiritual formation, spirituality, identity, attachment, relationships, nervous system, emotional resilience, curiosity, crisis

Many of us go through life unaware of how our histories influence the way we relate: to God, to ourselves, and to the people closest to us. Old patterns and unresolved pain often surface in subtle ways, shaping our reactions and the ways we show up in relationships.

In this conversation, I’m joined by Pete Sharp, a family friend and missionary with over 20 years of experience in cross-cultural work and leadership. Pete shares openly about recognizing old self-strategies, stepping into real-time awareness, and letting the truth of the gospel meet the deepest parts of his story. We talk about how healing isn’t just personal. it affects marriages, friendships, and the way we engage with the world. I hope you'll listen in.

Thought-provoking quotes:

"I just kept thinking, I need to try harder. I just need to stop doing that thing. It made me realize it’s a lie to think I’m just stuck in this way of behaving and that I can’t get out of it. There might actually be a different strategy than just trying harder to be different.” - Pete Sharp

“Healing, for me, is bringing the truth of the gospel to bear on our stories and on our past experiences.” - Pete Sharp

"We all have a false gospel that we believe — a way of surviving that we learned in childhood. It’s usually something like, ‘I’m okay so long as…’ and then you fill in the blank.” - Pete Sharp

 "When we engage in healing, it frees us up to have a broad range of responses. I feel now less stuck. It just feels like there are more options in the toolbox. I don’t feel quite so trapped in always responding the same way." - Pete Sharp

Key words:

spirituality, personal growth, healing, self-protection, gospel, faith, formation, identity, attachment, shame, insecurity, marriage, leadership, community, vulnerability, triggers, patterns, growth, freedom, discipleship, self-awareness, relationships

Sometimes the places in our hearts that feel most tender are also the places we avoid looking. Rejection can leave quiet echoes, forming the way we see ourselves, the lens through which we trust others, and the story we tell about our worth. These old wounds don’t always announce themselves, but they shape how we show up in relationships and in life.

In this conversation with trauma therapist Tabitha Panariso, we explore what it looks like to heal from the wounds of rejection and begin to embody the gospel’s invitations towards belonging and belovedness. Tabitha shares how healing isn’t just about moving on, but about resuscitating the heart and learning to receive God’s compassion for ourselves. I hope you'll listen in.

Check out Tabitha's book Loyal in His Love here.

Thought-provoking quotes:

“We are not a problems to be fixed. We are people to be loved." - Tabitha Panariso

"What we often call ‘moving on’ is really just self-protection.” - Tabitha Panariso

"To be willing to say something hurts means we’re more inclined to receive healing. If we can’t acknowledge the pain, we’ll never look for wholeness.” - Tabitha Panariso

"Learning to receive compassion is one of the hardest parts of embodying the gospel.” - Tabitha Panariso

Key words:

Rejection, trauma, spiritual formation, self-compassion, abandonment wounds, relationship patterns, self-protection, belonging, identity, grief, lament, relational healing, emotional awareness, personal growth, curiosity, Tabitha Panariso