Faith & Feelings

If you’ve been following along with our series on emotionally healthy relationships, this episode really serves as a kind of anchor—or container—for all the relational skills we’ve been exploring.

In my conversation with licensed therapist Julie Honeycutt, we dive into the inner work that makes healthy connection possible. We talk about the parts of us that show up in relationships, what it looks like to slow down and turn inward, and how we can begin building trust with ourselves instead of outsourcing our own growth & healing.

It’s a conversation about reactivity, self-leadership, and the beautiful—but sometimes difficult—process of learning to show up for the wounded parts of yourself with compassion. This is definitely a note-taking episode, and I’m so grateful for Julie’s insight, and the way she beautifully balances the complexity of this inner work while still making it feel accessible. I hope you'll listen in.

Learn more about the Christian IFS Workshop on August 22-23, 2025 at Crosspoint Church in Lynchburg, VA here.

Author and theologian David Augsburger once said, “Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.”

What it means to listen and love well can be best understood around the unfathomable mystery of the incarnation – that God took on human flesh. God knew that there was no better way to convey his love to human beings than to fully enter their world, and the life of Jesus teaches us three dynamics that characterize what it looks to incarnate in order to love people well. 

In today’s episode, my clinical supervisor Carley and I walk through each of these 3 active listening skills that can help us grow in this everyday practice of loving others well through how we listen. 

Scripture teaches that feelings are a key part of what it means to be a human being made in God’s image.

When we’re not in touch with what is going on inside us, our thoughts and feelings can feel like inner chaos. A lack of engagement with our interior worlds can cause us to miss many gifts from God. When this happens, we’re not living in reality, but in illusion or denial. And when we are not living in reality, we are not in spirituality, because the authentic spiritual life is not an escape from reality but an absolute commitment to it.

In this episode, my clinical supervisor Carley and I unpack our fourth relational skill – a simple but powerful skill for slowing down, processing our emotions, and meeting God in them. We talk about what it looks like to come alive to our feelings, and then integrate those feelings into our discernment of God’s will.

We all come into the family of Jesus carrying wounds from a broken world and imperfect families.

God’s intention is to heal us, but we must first become aware of what needs to be changed in us. In this episode, my clinical supervisor Carley Marcouillier and I talk about how discipleship involves reflecting on both the positive and negative influences of our family of origin.

This is hard work. But the extent to which we can go back and understand how our history has shaped us will determine, to a large degree, our ability to break destructive patterns and grow in love towards God and people. We also introduce our third relational skill for emotionally healthy relationships—the genogram—a practical tool for increasing self-awareness and understanding how your family story may still be shaping your present relationships.

 LINKS FROM THE EPISODE:

The stories we tell ourselves have an enormous impact on our feelings, and so often – especially in our relationships – we can tell ourselves stories that aren’t true.

Assumptions about what other people are thinking and feeling can quickly become hidden landmines in our relationships. In today’s episode, my clinical supervisor Carley Marcouillier and I unpack our second relational skill for emotionally healthy relationships. This skill has two parts to it: first, how to stop mind reading. And second, how to clarify expectations. I think you’re going to find this conversation both thought-provoking and really practical. Listen in.

If you’ve ever found yourself longing for deeper connection in your relationship but unsure how to get there, this episode is for you. 

Today, my clinical supervisor, licensed therapist Carley Marcouillier, and I kick off our Emotionally Healthy Relationships summer series by introducing a simple, practical communication skill built around five prompts: appreciations, worries & concerns, complaints & possible solutions, new information, and hopes & wishes.

These prompts create space for safety, honesty, and emotional closeness within relationships. Whether this is your first time hearing about this skill or you’re looking for a fresh way to grow, we hope this conversation encourages you to take small, meaningful steps toward deeper connection.

Is Grandpa really in my bones? 

We’re starting a new series on emotionally healthy relationships, and over the next eight weeks, I’ll be joined by my clinical supervisor and licensed therapist Carley Marcouillier to walk through 8 core relational skills that are essential for developing mature, loving relationships with others.

But this week, I wanted to spend a few minutes talking about why. Why are these skills are so important for us to learn? I talk about how we carry our family dynamics into all our relationships and the impact that community can have in fostering our awareness and healing. 

In our next podcast series, I’ll be joined by my clinical supervisor, Carley Marcouillier, who is a licensed therapist, podcast host, and ministry leader. Together, we’re going to walk through 8 core relational skills that are essential for cultivating emotionally healthy relationships. 

Over the course of eight episodes, we’re going to explore each skill, why it matters, and how to begin practicing it in everyday life. These are skills that we believe can transform the way you relate to those around you. I hope you’ll join us next week, as we talk about what it looks like to grow into people of love, together.

To wrap up our current series, I wanted to offer something a little different today:

A guided time of prayer— called Imaginative Prayer—that can help us enter into a deeper experience of God. This form of contemplative prayer dates back the early church mothers and fathers. When we engage in this kind of prayer, we use our imaginations to place ourselves within a scene from Scripture, particularly in the life of Jesus. I hope you'll join me as we walk onto the scene of Matthew 6:30-42 and ask the Spirit to speak to us through this story.

Did you know that the neural pathways for relationship are developed in the first three years of a person’s life? This is the heart of what’s called attachment theory and affects our relationship with ourselves, others, and even our relationships with God.

I’m so honored to welcome today’s guest, Summer Joy Gross. Summer is a spiritual director, Anglican priest, and writer who weaves neuroscience, attachment theory, and spiritual practices to help us root ourselves in God’s presence and nearness.

In this conversation, Summer walks us through each of the 4 attachment styles, showing us how our earliest experiences of love shape the way that we’ve come to experience God. We talk about the attachment wounds of each style, and how the Spirit actively pursues our healing in these places. Summer also guides us through a beautiful attachment practice in real-time to help to reconnect to God in a more secure way.