Found at 40

Feeling Lost in Your 40s? Why a Hobby Might Be the Secret to Finding Joy, Identity, and Yourself Again


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Why do so many women in their 40s feel flat, lost, or “meh”—even when life looks full on the outside? In this powerful conversation, Chrissi and Allison Egidi unpack how midlife identity shifts, joy droughts, hormones, resentment, and chronic responsibility can quietly drain our sense of self. They explore why hobbies aren’t just “fun”—they are scientifically proven tools for regulating emotions, rebuilding identity, and feeling alive again. This isn’t a conversation about tennis—it’s a conversation about you.


(00:00) Hobbies, endorphins, and why joy lifts every area of your life 🎬
(3:00) When hobbies became productivity, performance, and side hustle pressure 💼
(5:30) The midlife identity question: “Where did I go?” 🪞
(8:00) Why midlife can feel flat, boring, and emotionally muted (the science) 🧠
(10:45) Novelty, joy, and how hobbies help you feel alive again ✨
(13:15) Guilt, resentment, and the emotional weight of not having something that’s yours 😤
(16:30) Allison’s tennis story: rediscovering joy, identity, and confidence 🎾
(20:00) Showing up when you don’t feel like it—motivation, quitting, and resilience 💪
(24:00) Midlife bodies, hormones, perimenopause & why our 40-year-old joints need warmups 🏃‍♀️
(28:30) Why women (especially moms) put themselves last—and how to rewrite that story 🚫👩‍👧
(33:00) The psychology of fun: Why joy isn’t selfish—it’s essential for identity 🥳
(37:30) You don’t have to be good at it—permission to play for joy, not mastery 🎨
(41:30) How hobbies reduce stress, resentment, and even improve relationships ❤️
(45:30) Choosing a hobby: practical starting points, ideas, and how to make it a real habit 🎯📅

(55:00) Final rapid-fire, biggest lessons, and message to women feeling stuck 🌈
(1:00:00) Gentle assignment: schedule your hobby hour & share this with the friend who needs it 💌

💤 Follow Allison Egidi at @sleepandwellnesscoach and listen to her podcast “How Long ‘Til Bedtime?”

✨ Hit follow, send this episode to your group chat, and leave a glowing review

📱 Check out @foundat40podcast on Instagram for extras, outtakes, and mild oversharing

🎙️ Listen on Apple Podcasts and Spotify

📺 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Foundat40


Keywords: lost in my 40s, how to find myself again, hobbies for women in midlife, reclaiming identity after motherhood, midlife purpose and joy, how to feel alive again in my 40s, midlife identity crisis, mom burnout and resentment, how hobbies improve mental health, finding joy and purpose in midlife, emotional load of motherhood, perimenopause and mood changes, women rediscovering themselves, making time for myself as a mom, why fun is important for adults, how to start a hobby in your 40s, midlife happiness mindset, self-discovery in midlife, guilt-free self-care for women, women choosing themselves again.



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Found at 40By Chrissi Harris

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