Female by Design

In today's episode, we have rich conversations with a licensed counselor and sex therapist Nancy Houston. Nancy offers wonderful insight and compassion into the profound connections between love, sex, and healing. We discuss:

• The spiritual mystery and depth to our sexuality

• Emotional and soul connection in marriage

• How to keep sex on the "front burner"

• Power and beauty of the feminine body

• Identifying what's informed your view of sex and understanding how you may be modeling your sex life accordingly

• Working through sexual trauma through sharing your story (or receiving the story of another)

• Normalizing, rather than demonizing, our sexuality

• Styles of attachment (healthy and unhealthy)

About Nancy Houston:

Nancy Houston is an author, speaker, Executive Leadership Coach, Licensed Professional Counselor and Certified Sex Therapist. She loves to help people grow into their full potential, empowering them to be truly alive. Nancy has been married to the love of her life for almost 50 years. Together they have four wonderful married sons and six adorable grandchildren.

Nancy is the author of Love and Sex and Then God Made A Woman: Unwrapping Female Sexuality.

Resources Mentioned:

A Celebration of Sex: A Guide to Enjoying God's Gift of Sexual Intimacy by Dr. Douglas E. Rosenau, Jeff Durham, et al.

Then God Made A Woman: Unwrapping Female Sexuality by Nancy Houston

Related Episodes:

Your Wonderful Female Body Series, start here

Great Sex Grows Series, start here

Francie Recommends:

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You're Invited:

Keep learning with Francie! Join the Discipleship Circle group mentorship. This is a SWEET community of women, connected with the purpose of seeking God's heart for their reclaiming a redeemed view of sex and sexuality. Inside the circle, we will explore and discover the good news about God's heart for sex. Learn more here: Discipleship Circle

Listen to Heaven in Your Home Family Music:

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Apple Music

YouTube

Connect with Francie:

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Whatever season you currently find yourself in, this is a conversation not to be missed. The reality is, you will have seasons of abundance as well as refining seasons of trial and suffering. You'll hear my honest perspective on and journey through suffering and God in the midst of it all, including:

• Intimacy resilience and building intimacy in all seasons.

• Challenges in life and how they can create tension and disconnection in marriage.

• Opportunities to lean into your marriage connection, especially in the hard seasons.

• Learning to not only be strong for one another, but to be weak together and talk about hard things, loss and disappointment.

• Physical touch and intimacy as a powerful way to process challenge and stress.

• Restoration and rejuvenation brought through biological releases sex provides.

Mentioned Resources:

The Savvy Sauce: Practical Chats for Intentional Living

Learn more here

The Gap and the Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success

Related Episodes:

Finding Breakthrough from Anxiety, episode 134

The Science of Sex, episode 2

You're Invited:

Keep learning with Francie! Join the Discipleship Circle group mentorship. This is a SWEET community of women, connected with the purpose of seeking God's heart for their reclaiming

a redeemed view of sex and sexuality. Inside the circle, we will explore and discover the good news about God's heart for sex. Learn more here: Discipleship Circle

Listen to Heaven in Your Home Family Music:

Spotify

Apple Music

YouTube

Connect with Francie:

Receive Francie's weekly newsletter

Website

Instagram

Finding energy as a wife, while spinning all the plates of motherhood, can be a bit of a challenge. Switching gears from "tired mom" to feeling sexy doesn't exactly just happen. Can you relate?

Good news! In this episode we have some real talk about how to be intentional, cultivate the needs of your body and maybe even find some ideas to "get your groove back" in the bedroom. Let's tap into more joy and enjoyment, because God created you with an incredible capacity for pleasure.

Related Episodes:

Your Wonderful Female Body - Erogenous Zones, episode 107

Great Sex Grows…When I Tune Into My Body, episode 121

Growing Intimacy…Even When You Have Little Kids, episode 127

You're Invited:

Keep learning with Francie! Join the Discipleship Circle group mentorship. This is a SWEET community of women, connected with the purpose of seeking God's heart for their reclaiming

a redeemed view of sex and sexuality. Inside the circle, we will explore and discover the good news about God's heart for sex. Learn more here: Discipleship Circle

Listen to Heaven in Your Home Family Music:

Spotify

Apple Music

YouTube

Connect with Francie:

Receive Francie's weekly newsletter

Website

Instagram

Sex is meant to point to something bigger, reflecting the goodness of a purposeful Creator. Our God is an intentional designer and His creation, including sex and sexuality, was designed to point to greater things. For centuries the church has disregarded the importance and meaning of the body and sex, yet this conversation helps us see there is a different way to see and celebrate the story of God.

Topics discussed include:

• The union of man and woman point to a greater union with God, sex as a signpost.

• The beauty of God's story written on our bodies.

• Moving from a rule based mindset to an image bearing mindset.

• Duty language vs. beauty language.

• Higher vision for singleness and marriage.

• Holy masculinity and image bearing role of men.

About Josh Butler:

Joshua Ryan Butler serves as lead pastor of Redemption Tempe in Arizona. Josh is the author of Beautiful Union (and a few other books). Josh loves shifting paradigms, to help people who wrestle with tough topics of the Christian faith by confronting popular caricatures and replacing them with the real thing. He lives with his wife Holly and three children—Aiden, James, and Jacob—in Tempe, AZ. Find Josh at www.joshuaryanbutler.com

Resources Mentioned:

Beautiful Union: How God's Vision for Sex Points Us to the Good, Unlocks the True, and (Sort of) Explains Everything, by Joshua Ryan Butler

Related Episodes:

Inner Healing, Sri Lankan Honeymoon & Sex for a Year, episode 1

Rethinking Sex: Recovering a Biblical Lens, episode 3

Sex Is a Signpost, episode 13

You're Invited:

Keep learning with Francie! Join the Discipleship Circle group mentorship. This is a SWEET community of women, connected with the purpose of seeking God's heart for their reclaiming

a redeemed view of sex and sexuality. Inside the circle, we will explore and discover the good news about God's heart for sex. Learn more here: Discipleship Circle

Listen to Heaven in Your Home Family Music:

Spotify

Apple Music

YouTube

Connect with Francie:

Receive Francie's weekly newsletter

Website

Instagram

Prepare to be encouraged by a mentoring session with Shaunti Feldhahn. We are diving into sex and sexuality with Shaunti, as she shares her insight and clinical understanding and perspective. Some of the topics we covered in this conversation include:

• Surprises that make all the difference.

• Why sexuality matters.

• A vision for intimacy.

• Affirming insecure places.

• Desire - types of desire and levels of desire.

• God's beautiful gift of sexuality for women.

About Shaunti Feldhahn:

Shaunti received her graduate degree from Harvard University and was an analyst on Wall Street before unexpectedly becoming a social researcher, best-selling author and popular speaker. Today, she applies her analytical skills to investigating eye-opening, life-changing truths about relationships, both at home and in the workplace.

Shaunti's books (including several with husband, Jeff) are known for their aha moments and relationship transformations! These groundbreaking research-based books, including For Women Only, The Kindness Challenge, and most recently, Secrets of Sex and Marriage have sold more than 3 million copies in 25 languages and are widely read in homes, counseling centers and corporations worldwide.

Find her new book, Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference, Shaunti Feldhahn, Dr. Michael Sytsma

Related Episodes:

High & Low Libido, episode 150

Your Wonderful Female Body - Sexual Desire, episode 109

You're Invited:

Keep learning with Francie! Join the Discipleship Circle group mentorship. This is a SWEET community of women, connected with the purpose of seeking God's heart for their reclaiming

a redeemed view of sex and sexuality. Inside the circle, we will explore and discover the good news about God's heart for sex. Learn more here: Discipleship Circle

Listen to Heaven in Your Home Family Music:

Spotify

Apple Music

YouTube

Connect with Francie:

Receive Francie's weekly newsletter

Website

Instagram

God designed your body with intention, care and purpose. Yet, we often hyper-focus on the mind and the spirit, neglecting the importance of the body.

In this episode we will discuss the importance of connecting to the body, because stress in the body can create dis-ease that ripples out to all areas of our life. Topics include:

• The brain body connection.

• Dis-ease in the body and the peace of God.

• Paying attention to and being aware of your body.

• Problems that can arise when we disregard the body.

• Hormetic stress and other practices to reset the body.

• Laying down efficiency for more intimacy with God.

• Caring for your body to build more desire and marriage connection.

Resources Mentioned:

Related Episodes:

Finding Breakthrough from Anxiety, episode 134

Your Good Body with Alisa Keeton, episode 135

How Taking Hotel Dates Helps My Marriage Connection, episode 126

You're Invited:

Keep learning with Francie! Join the Discipleship Circle group mentorship. This is a SWEET community of women, connected with the purpose of seeking God's heart for their reclaiming a redeemed view of sex and sexuality. Inside the circle, we will explore and discover the good news about God's heart for sex. Learn more here: Discipleship Circle

Listen to Heaven in Your Home Family Music:

Spotify

Apple Music

YouTube

Connect with Francie:

Receive Francie's weekly newsletter

Website

Instagram

What do I do if I have a higher drive than my husband?

What should I do if my sex drive seems non-existent?

Today's episode is a fresh perspective and discussion as we unpack sexual desire and high and low libidos, which happens to be one of the most frequently asked questions.

Education and understanding can lead to celebration, therefore let's discuss the sexual response cycle, spontaneous desire vs. responsive desire and factors that contribute to seasons of higher/lower seasons of spontaneous desire.

Let's get equipped and be encouraged as we seek to see sex and connection through a fresh lens.

Related Episodes:

Rethinking Sex: Recovering a Biblical Lens, Episode 3

Pleasure & Orgasm with Bonny Burns, episode 136

Your Wonderful Female Body Series - Episode 104 to Episode 113

Great Sex Grows Series - Episode 119 to Episode 124

You're Invited:

Keep learning with Francie! Join the Discipleship Circle group mentorship. This is a SWEET community of women, connected with the purpose of seeking God's heart for their reclaiming

a redeemed view of sex and sexuality. Inside the circle, we will explore and discover the good news about God's heart for sex. Learn more here: Discipleship Circle

Listen to Heaven in Your Home Family Music:

Spotify

Apple Music

YouTube

Connect with Francie:

Receive Francie's weekly newsletter

Website

Instagram

A tender, honest conversation as Bonny shares her vulnerable testimony and healing journey through deep betrayal caused by pornography and sex addiction in her marriage.

There is tremendous trauma and hurt in a marriage experiencing a death of trust. Bonny speaks into betrayal from a personal and clinical perspective, providing you with understanding, empathy and thoughtful steps to take toward healing for both partners.

If betrayal has touched your life, know you are not alone. There is great hope and healing possible, especially with the help of trained professionals and the power of the Holy Spirit.

Connect with Bonny Burns:

Bonny Burns works to empower the wife with low sexual interest, little sex drive, and possibly a sexless marriage through science, scripture, and stories. She writes at oysterbed7.com and podcasts at Sex Chat for Christian Wives. You can find her ministry to women who have experienced sexual betrayal at strongwives.com. She earned a Christian Counseling certification (not licensure) in 2015 and in December, 2019, she completed a Bachelor of Science in counseling psychology from Liberty University. She is married to Dave for over 30 years and is a mother to three adult sons.

Mentioned in this episode:

Sex Chat for Christian Wives podcast

Strong Wives

Oysterbed7

APSATS

Sensate Focus

Related Episodes:

Pornography & Sexual Shame to Freedom with Joy Skarka, episode 138

Pleasure & Orgasm with Bonny Burns, episode 136

Transformational Keys to Emotional Connection with Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill, episode 131

You're Invited:

Keep learning with Francie! Join the Discipleship Circle group mentorship. This is a SWEET community of women, connected with the purpose of seeking God's heart for their reclaiming

a redeemed view of sex and sexuality. Inside the circle, we will explore and discover the good news about God's heart for sex. Learn more here: Discipleship Circle

Listen to Heaven in Your Home Family Music:

Spotify

Apple Music

YouTube

Connect with Francie:

Receive Francie's weekly newsletter

Website

Instagram

Getting on the same "spiritual page" with your husband can fall lower and lower on the to-do list, even though both of your hearts are pursuing connection and intimacy.

Jodie Berndt is the mentor we all need on this topic. In this episode you'll hear a wise and practical conversation as you think about building spiritual intimacy in a fresh and do-able way. Whether you are currently experiencing a roommate rut season or you long for more faith connection with your spouse, Jodie brings wisdom and insight that helps you see the goodness of God in every season.

Connect with Jodie Berndt:

Best selling author and speaker, Jodie is known for her praying the scriptures book series as she inspires and encourages us toward Jesus through prayer. She is married to Robbie, mom to four grown children and loving her season of being a grandparent. You can connect with Jodie at www.jodieberndt.com.

Find her new book Praying the Scriptures for Your Marriage here.

You're Invited:

Keep learning with Francie! Join the Discipleship Circle group mentorship. This is a SWEET community of women, connected with the purpose of seeking God's heart for their reclaiming

a redeemed view of sex and sexuality. Inside the circle, we will explore and discover the good news about God's heart for sex. Learn more here: Discipleship Circle

Listen to Heaven in Your Home Family Music:

Spotify

Apple Music

YouTube

Connect with Francie:

Receive Francie's weekly newsletter

Website

Instagram

It's not uncommon to experience painful intercourse and it might even be related to a condition that should be addressed. In today's episode we are talking about vaginismus and painful intercourse. You will hear about the mind, body, spirit connection, why we see painful intercourse more prevalently in Christian women and some practical thoughts and resources to help find solutions.

God made your body wonderfully. You are not broken and you are certainly not alone.

Full disclosure: This episode is not intended to diagnose, treat or cure any condition. I am not a medical doctor or therapist, but I do think it's important for you to know about resources so you can be informed, talk to your doctor and get the help you need.

Resources Mentioned:

Getting Your Sex Life Off to a Great Start, A Guide for Engaged in Newlywed Couples by Clifford and Joyce Penner

Hope & Her

Completely Overcome Vaginismus: The Practical Approach to Pain-Free Intercourse

Related Episodes:

Before You Say "I Do" with Bethany Beal, episode 139

Invitation to Discover Your Wonderful Female Body, episode 104

Body Blessing and Shame Healing, episode 44

You're Invited:

Keep learning with Francie! Join the Discipleship Circle group mentorship. This is a SWEET community of women, connected with the purpose of seeking God's heart for their reclaiming

a redeemed view of sex and sexuality. Inside the circle, we will explore and discover the good news about God's heart for sex. Learn more here: Discipleship Circle

Listen to Heaven in Your Home Family Music:

Spotify

Apple Music

YouTube

Connect with Francie:

Receive Francie's weekly newsletter