Kayla Lords hosts this week’s episode and discusses the kind of financial control practiced in her D/s relationship with John Brownstone. The decision to give up or take financial control in any relationship isn’t an easy one and is unique to everyone. There is no one right decision to make or one right way to do it. This is simply a look at what financial control can look like.

In this episode:

* Kayla got her first allowance and squeed like the babygirl she is.

* After 18 months, this step in financial control was a good thing.

* John Brownstone has had financial control in their relationship from the beginning.

* Kayla still has access to their joint accounts and maintains her own separate accounts.

* John Brownstone pays the bills, makes the financial decisions (with her input), and controls the money.

* From a paranoia born from a bad marriage, Kayla was afraid to be a financial burden so never spent a penny without full permission.

* This self-imposed restriction lead to resentment, fear, and envy.

* The situation came to a head over Chinese food and cigars.

* The weekly allowance was born.

* The structure of an allowance gives Kayla a sense of freedom.

* Anyone considering financial control should proceed carefully and slowly. Communication and trust are absolute musts.

Have a topic suggestion or question for future episodes? Contact Kayla or John and feel free to share!

Listen on YouTube

Full Transcript:

You’re listening to Loving BDSM podcast: episode 13. Today, let’s talk about money and financial control! Hey, everybody. Kayla Lords here. Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this is your first time listening, glad to have you! If you’re back for another week, welcome back! Loving BDSM is produced every Friday for your kinky pleasure and education and show notes are found at kaylalords.com. Come back often and feel free to add the podcast to your favorite RSS feed or iTunes. If you love what you hear, we’d love a good review on iTunes to help other kinksters find us! You can follow me on Twitter @KaylaLords or stalk John Brownstone at southernsirsplace.com. All links are in the show notes. Now, let’s get into the show.

The other day John Brownstone, you know, my illustrious Daddy who I love and adore, handed me a $20 and if I’d been wearing panties, they would have melted. It was my first official allowance in our relationship, and as silly as it sounded, I was in heaven.

This new venture into financial control within our relationship has been something I’ve considered and sought since we moved into together. It couldn’t have happened over a year ago – and maybe it shouldn’t have, either. But we’re in a different place now, and we’ve grown as a couple over the past 18 months. Handing over financial control to him is another step for us.

Let me back up and explain a few things. I can almost hear some people gasping and clutching their pearls over the idea of losing any financial control.

First of all, I have had and continue to have full access to our bank account. My name is on the account, and at any point, I can swipe the debit card, write a check, withdraw money, and transfer money.

At any point, I can and have and will access the account from my phone and take a look at what’s being spent where. That’s what lead us to the discussion that brought us to this point. More on that later.

I maintain two separate PayPal accounts and my original bank account from my single days. I also have my own credit card. Basically, if something happened tomorrow, I can get to my money and have a place to put it.