Kayla Lords hosts episode 23 and discusses a topic on the mind of most single kinky people: how do I find the right Dominant or submissive for me?

In this episode:

* Sponsorships are available for the show. Contact Kayla directly for details.

* As with most episodes, this came from real conversations she’s had with fellow kinksters.

* There is no step-by-step list on how to pick the perfect partner in a kinky relationship.

* Some people start on specific websites: Fetlife, CollarMe, Adult Friend Finder – and they keep finding only duds.

* Instead of looking someone who uses the label you prefer (Daddy, babygirl, kitten, etc.), look for a person you have a genuine connection with.

* Two schools of thought: find the person without knowing their kinky preferences or look for people who identify as kinky. Kayla prefers to look among people who already know they’re kinky.

* Only choosing based on the title or label someone uses for themselves eliminates potentially great partners.

* You might miss out on people who have something new to teach you.

* Instead of finding the person to fit your ideal relationship dynamic, find the relationship dynamic that fits you and the person you have a connection with.

* The right person could bring out parts of yourself you didn’t even know existed.

* Kayla shares the differences between her first D/s relationship and the one she has with John Brownstone.

* The Daddy/babygirl dynamic wasn’t even a consideration when John and Kayla first met. They grew into it together.

* Try not to be too rigid in what you think you want or the kind of kinkster you think you’ll always be. People and situations change.

* When you begin discussing your kinks – once you figure out if there’s a real connection – you might be surprised at what you learn, about them and yourself.

* A healthy D/s relationship and the ability to find the dynamic that works best for you requires trust.

* When you connect with someone on a deep level, you can be vulnerable with them. You never know what will come of that.

* Kayla describes how she found her babygirl side and how their dynamic shifted.

* Forget the labels we give ourselves and focus on the person. Be with a person who makes you feel all kinds of good things.

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Full Transcript:

You’re listening to Loving BDSM podcast: episode 23. Hey, everybody. Kayla Lords here.