For Aliens, By Aliens

Hoist the sails and fling the ditty bags. We’re on a booty hunt, and that's what pirates do best. Of course, not all pirates are created equal. Some are totally chill and some are total dick wads, pardon my pirate speak, but what could be better than sailing the open seas looking for booty? Watch your poop deck, this one might get dirty. Theme song: “Eye of My Mind” by Wooky (wookyofficial.bandcamp.com)

This week, Aaron takes a trip to the deep, deep, dirty South to talk to another real-life Mississippian. Jacob is the odd hooman out as these two friends teach him how to dodge southern hospitality, explain the social awkwardness of institutional racism, and let the aliens know why “Missippi” is the best place on Earth to study fat people. Theme song: “Eye of My Mind” by Wooky (wookyofficial.bandcamp.com)

Aaron and Jacob are just two guys just trying to make it in the crazy world of professional podcasting. Tune in each week as these two wacky dudes live, laugh, love, and just try to make sense of this thing we call human life. Theme song: “Eye of My Mind” by Wooky (wookyofficial.bandcamp.com)

Summer is upon us, and it’s time to head to camp! Grab your sleeping bag, sunscreen, and… Bible? That’s right aliens, your Earth ambassadors both went to church camp, so that’s all they know. So, fill up your bowl of oatmeal and ice cream, say your prayers, and get ready for the most religious camp-themed podcast you’ve ever heard. Theme song: “Eye of My Mind” by Wooky (wookyofficial.bandcamp.com)

There are some things that Hoomans don't like to talk or think about very often. One of those things is trash, probably because they create so much of it. In this episode we take a stroll through the life of a piece of trash, find out why Jacob is such a bad boy at recycling, and see what Earth will be like if we don't stop trashing it up. And, of course, your Earth Ambassadors have their own solutions for the trash crisis. Hint: Swiss Family Robinson, but with garbage. Theme song: “Eye of My Mind” by Wooky (wookyofficial.bandcamp.com)

This week, your Earth ambassadors introduce you to a relic of Earth’s long-forgotten past: video rental stores. These bastions of long lost hope and childlike glee are all but gone from the face of the Earth. Let’s take a look back in time to see why they kicked so much ass and yet were ultimately doomed to fail. Also, Jacob has a poop story...again. Theme song: “Eye of My Mind” by Wooky (wookyofficial.bandcamp.com)

This week, your Earth ambassadors take a long, hard look at mirrors. Tune in to hear about how this incredible invention enabled man to discover his own butthole, learn about the dangers of squash picking, and ponder the true nature of the Jacob-verse. Theme song: “Eye of My Mind” by Wooky (wookyofficial.bandcamp.com)

The force is strong in this week's episode as the Earth ambassadors, along with guest Ben Lindsey, tell the aliens about Star Wars.The question is, did Star Wars really happen in a galaxy far far away? Find out which Star Wars characters your Earth Ambassadors are, why Darth Vader is the coolest, and why George Lucas needs supervision like a baby man. You’sall want to listen to this one. Sorry about the Jar Jar pun. This is still the podcast you’re looking for. Theme song: “Eye of My Mind” by Wooky (wookyofficial.bandcamp.com)

Here’s the scenario: the supervolcano under Yellowstone just erupted, and you have just a few hours to make it to safety. What would you do? Would you try to make your escape in an inflatable rubber kayak? Or perhaps stockpile wheat seed in order to position yourself as a God to other survivors? If not, you’re obviously not an Earth ambassador. Theme song: “Eye of My Mind” by Wooky (wookyofficial.bandcamp.com)

VROOM VROOM! If you know your Earth ambassadors, then you know that they’re just a couple of gear heads always ready to talk about their tricked out rides. Tune in this week to hear these two car experts dish about Aaron’s bongo habit, learn what else can be measured in horses, and find out why, in the future, cars will be driving us. Theme song: “Eye of My Mind” by Wooky (wookyofficial.bandcamp.com)