Freedom from Attachment

When we think of someone who’s rigid, we picture a person who is tightly wound, wearing stuffy clothes and pursed lips… right? Actually, no. Rigidity often shows up dressed to the nines, flashing a smile; outwardly put together. Things just get serious pretty quickly when you butt up against a rigid person, or mess with the flow of their stream. Know anyone like that? Maybe YOU?

Most of us don’t think we’re rigid. We see ourselves as accommodating and go-with-the-flow instead of recognizing how hard we fight to stay in our comfort zone. We operate on autopilot, thinking it’s perfectly reasonable not to pause or question (doesn’t everyone do that?). How does rigidity show up in your life, and how does it limit you? Listen to the podcast for more.

Why do we STILL worry about disappointing our parents? Do we really have that much influence over making them happy? Or do we think we have the power to keep them from being sad?

When it comes to our relationship with our parents, we quickly slip into old childhood roles. It’s easy to forget we’re grownups too! We second-guess our choices because we’re programmed to think “Daddy (or mommy) knows best.”

But when we let our parents’ fear or prejudice or rules dictate our choices, we’re really saying, “I don’t value me enough.” Guilt wins.

So how do you stop feeling guilty and speak your truth? I’ve got five steps to help cut that umbilical cord.

Why do we STILL worry about disappointing our parents? Do we really have that much influence over making them happy? Or do we think we have the power to keep them from being sad?

When it comes to our relationship with our parents, we quickly slip into old childhood roles. It’s easy to forget we’re grownups too! We second-guess our choices because we’re programmed to think “Daddy (or mommy) knows best.”

But when we let our parents’ fear or prejudice or rules dictate our choices, we’re really saying, “I don’t value me enough.” Guilt wins.

So how do you stop feeling guilty and speak your truth? I’ve got five steps to help cut that umbilical cord.

Do you ever feel like you're not on the path that you truly desire, deep down? Many of us listen to old voices that tell us what we can and cannot do. As a child (or even as an adult) you may have heard things like, “it’s impossible to succeed as an artist” or “you’re so good at math, you should go into engineering!” Perhaps you were even made to feel these things yourself.

But here’s the good news: It’s not too late to step into the driver’s seat of your own life. What’s the worst that can happen by following your bliss? Follow it through to the end result, then ask yourself if it’s better or worse than living a limited life. Every day that you put energy towards what you love, you win. You become the person you really are, and those old voices start to quiet down.

Listen in to learn what amazing effects await when you stop listening to other people and start listening to yourself. You may just be tempted to try it.

Do you ever feel like you're not on the path that you truly desire, deep down? Many of us listen to old voices that tell us what we can and cannot do. As a child (or even as an adult) you may have heard things like, “it’s impossible to succeed as an artist” or “you’re so good at math, you should go into engineering!” Perhaps you were even made to feel these things yourself.

But here’s the good news: It’s not too late to step into the driver’s seat of your own life. What’s the worst that can happen by following your bliss? Follow it through to the end result, then ask yourself if it’s better or worse than living a limited life. Every day that you put energy towards what you love, you win. You become the person you really are, and those old voices start to quiet down.

Listen in to learn what amazing effects await when you stop listening to other people and start listening to yourself. You may just be tempted to try it.

I suck at dating. In other words…I feel totally inept.

I love myself I do, but when it comes to online dating it is a difficult thing to convey pictures and the written word…at least for me. I know it works, because I know people who are happy together and met this way….but for most of them it was unconventional.

Join me in owning who you are and not losing it while dating. I will go through some of the rules to dating (and how they don't apply) and bring some lightness to a topic, which for many of us singles makes us feel like it's a job or that perhaps we have a fatal flaw. Find how to remain authentic and meet someone without making yourself into a project.

I suck at dating. In other words…I feel totally inept.

I love myself I do, but when it comes to online dating it is a difficult thing to convey pictures and the written word…at least for me. I know it works, because I know people who are happy together and met this way….but for most of them it was unconventional.

Join me in owning who you are and not losing it while dating. I will go through some of the rules to dating (and how they don't apply) and bring some lightness to a topic, which for many of us singles makes us feel like it's a job or that perhaps we have a fatal flaw. Find how to remain authentic and meet someone without making yourself into a project.

Do you kick people to the curb prematurely? Or say/do things quickly to demonstrate your strong resolve?

We're all in an emotional rush move on from things, influenced by the expectations of others. Why do we set these timetables around moving quickly in and out of relationships? Every time we do it, we hurt ourselves.

If you're thinking about breaking up with someone, but struggling (one day you feel talked into it, the next day you don't), then you’re not approaching it from the inside. We spend way too much time paying attention to what those around us do, and what they tell us to do in our situation. Stop. Breakups are about ourselves… not the other person.

Learn how to connect with yourself and move in the direction you authentically want to go—when you’re ready. To help with this process, download “How to Know When You’re Ready to End a Relationship” http://bit.ly/1q0HNDL

Do you kick people to the curb prematurely? Or say/do things quickly to demonstrate your strong resolve?

We're all in an emotional rush move on from things, influenced by the expectations of others. Why do we set these timetables around moving quickly in and out of relationships? Every time we do it, we hurt ourselves.

If you're thinking about breaking up with someone, but struggling (one day you feel talked into it, the next day you don't), then you’re not approaching it from the inside. We spend way too much time paying attention to what those around us do, and what they tell us to do in our situation. Stop. Breakups are about ourselves… not the other person.

Learn how to connect with yourself and move in the direction you authentically want to go—when you’re ready. To help with this process, download “How to Know When You’re Ready to End a Relationship” http://bit.ly/1q0HNDL

Compassion is defined as benevolence, charity, empathy, grace, kindness, and good will.

It’s different from sympathy.

You may think you only deserve compassion once you accomplish something(so you deserve it), but then after you accomplish it, you feel you could have done better. It wasn’t perfect. When you’re in a state of comparing or labeling something as not good enough because it’s not perfect, where can compassion live? It cannot exist.

This idea that we must show up in a certain way and be “perfect” for others to accept us is backwards. You must be compassionate with yourself first, and then with the rest of the world. And to do that, you have to take off the mask. Perfection is an illusion, and it doesn’t force others into compassion for you. Perfectionism keeps us from acceptance.

This week I look at the push and pull between compassion and perfection. The mind is never satisfied when it is looking for the perfect picture. And compassion is necessary for self-acceptance. Learn how to dig yourself and get past that inner judge!