Are you exhausted from forcing everything to happen? From pushing through goals that leave you feeling empty once you reach them?

Most avoidants live like they're perpetually on fire—reacting, controlling, forcing outcomes because "easy" feels dangerous. But here's the thing: all that forcing keeps you from the very flow state that would actually get you where you want to go.

In this episode, Tracy explores:

* Why ease feels dangerous when you're avoidant

* The difference between forcing and allowing

* How perfectionism keeps you stuck in empty cycles

* Sitting with discomfort instead of reacting

* Recognizing when you're escaping versus flowing

"When you're forcing, you're coming from a state of lack. You can't force a healthy relationship. You can't force anything meaningful. But we keep trying because we're afraid to let go of the false building we've created that everyone can admire." ~ Tracy Crossley

Do you crave connection but keep everyone at arm's length? You might be what Tracy calls an "accidental asshole."

You're not trying to be a jerk. You built that wall as a kid to survive. But now it's blocking the very thing you want most.

You date with one foot in, one foot out. You need drama to feel anything. When someone actually wants to love you? Boring. Or terrifying.

Stop waiting for someone who won't trigger you. That person doesn't exist. The work is dealing with the discomfort of letting someone in.

In this episode, Tracy explores:

* Why you need tension to feel attraction

* How the "perfect person" fantasy keeps you unavailable

* Why you get pissed when you actually get attached

* Why you contact exes months later

* How to feel without the protective facade

"Emotionally available people do not seek out unavailability." ~ Tracy Crossley

Are you fun? Do you have a spark in your eye or are you just a sad sack?

You put on your dating face. Your interview face. You're all excited and lighthearted at first. Then what the fuck happens? You turn serious. You start complaining. You focus on what's not happening instead of asking yourself - does this actually work for me?

If your happiness depends on external circumstances, you are screwed.

In this episode, Tracy explores:

* Why we go from fun to fucking serious when expectations aren't met

* How much you complain about the person or job (that's your clue)

* What happens when you lose your sense of humor

* Why everything doesn't have to be your way

* How to stop sacrificing your wellbeing for stories in your head

"You have a choice. You do. Stop giving up your happiness in favor of trying to change someone else or feeling stuck in a prison you made." ~ Tracy Crossley

Shit happens. That's life.

But here's the thing—just because life throws curveballs doesn't mean you have to marry the stress that comes with them.

Tracy gets raw and real about her own recent struggles. Unexpected life events. Emotional turmoil. The guilt that creeps in when you think you should have it all figured out by now.

Sound familiar?

In this episode, Tracy explores:

* Why we choose to stay married to stress instead of divorcing it

* How guilt keeps you trapped in emotional patterns that don't serve you

* The difference between experiencing stress and becoming it

* Why your business (and life) suffers when you can't separate yourself from your circumstances

A practical exercise to help you release the stress you've been carrying

Plus, Tracy walks you through a real-time stress relief exercise. Because sometimes you need tools, not just insights.

"I don't need to be married to the stress just because shit is happening doesn't mean I need to be stressed by it."

~ Tracy Crossley

Tired of the endless cycle of self-help promises that never deliver? You consume podcast after podcast, read book after book, seeking that magic formula for perfection. But here's the truth nobody wants to tell you: you're chasing a fantasy.

The "fake Candyland bullshit goal" is what's making you feel like crap about yourself. One day you're on top of the world, the next you're spiraling. What changed? You're still you. Stop waiting for external validation to feel okay. You already have everything you need inside you—you just don't know how to access it yet.

In this episode, Tracy explores:

* Why seeking validation instead of actual help keeps you stuck

* How victimhood and living in your head sabotage real growth

* The difference between knowing something and actually living it

* Why beating yourself up over past "mistakes" never brings peace

* How to stop giving your power away to the "wishing and hoping farm"

"The reality is if someone broke up with you, they broke up with you for their own reasons. That's how it works. If I have a problem with somebody, it's because of me and how I look at something." ~ Tracy Crossley

Do you find yourself saying things like "we can only talk once a week" or "it's too late to make plans now"? You might be disguising control as boundaries without even realizing it.

Here's the truth: rigid rules in relationships come from fear. Fear of being taken advantage of. Fear of losing control. Fear of trusting the flow between you and another person.

In this episode, Tracy explores:

* Why rules are really about control, not protection

* The difference between boundaries and rigid demands

* What you're actually afraid of when you won't compromise

* How authenticity creates real connection

* Why middle ground doesn't mean losing yourself

"Rules are not the path to developing deeper connections with people. When you are authentic and speak your truth, you can compromise without sacrificing yourself or your values." ~ Tracy Crossley

Are you physically avoiding someone in your own home? Running to another room when you hear their footsteps?

Your body knows what your mind tries to rationalize away. Sometimes we find ourselves in situations where our nervous system screams "danger" even when logically we know we're safe.

Tracy gets brutally honest about living with her narcissistic mother and the physiological response that has her literally hiding in her own house.

In this episode, Tracy explores:

* Why your body reacts before your mind catches up

* How childhood patterns show up in adult responses

* Living with toxic family members who gaslight

* The difference between intellectual awareness and emotional healing

"We don't really change unless it's going to benefit us in some way." ~ Tracy Crossley

Are you exhausting yourself chasing dreams that aren't even yours? Twisting yourself into a pretzel trying to become someone you're not?

Every year on this planet, you have a choice: become more bitter or grow. But here's the deal—all that trying is actually making you emptier.

Stop trying to prove yourself. Start being yourself.

In this episode, Tracy explores:

* What are you trying to prove and who are you trying to prove it to?

* Why "I'll try" is weak energy that keeps you stuck

* How to live from your real motivation, not your ego

"When you stop trying, you pay attention to the real motivation from your real self—not from your ego, not from your insecurities, not from your state of lack." ~ Tracy Crossley

Caught in a cycle of blaming others for how you feel? You might think self-acceptance comes from others accepting you first. Wrong. That approach builds walls, creates resentment, and slowly kills your relationships.

Codependency, anyone? Giving the remote control to your emotions to someone else NEVER leads to self acceptance.

In this episode, Tracy explores:

* Why you feel resentment rather than acceptance

* What is a trigger that leads you to a world of hurt?

* How to actually accept yourself.

"Where there is judgment, love is not happening in those moments ~ Love of yourself or the other person." ~ Tracy Crossley

You keep ignoring your gut to please everyone else. Reacting to what others want instead of tuning into what YOU need. Sound familiar? When was the last time you actually checked in with yourself before jumping through hoops to meet someone else's expectations?

We're taught to react to others, to do "the right thing" according to everyone but ourselves. Your worth becomes tied to how well you anticipate and please the people around you. Meanwhile, your true feelings get buried deeper with each fake smile, each time you say "yes" when you mean "no."

In this episode, Tracy explores:

* Why we abandon our feelings to meet others' expectations

* How "doing the right thing" disconnects you from yourself

* The myth of mind-reading in relationships

* Three ways you dismiss your feelings daily

* Recognizing when you're reacting vs. honoring yourself

"As long as you don't give a f*** about your feelings, nobody else will. You teach people how to treat you." ~ Tracy Crossley