Freedom from Attachment

In this special series, Tracy will be answering your questions around emotional baggage. This week she dives into the hot topics of emotional resilience, commitment issues, and not forcing yourself to feel something you don't feel.

Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt

Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST.

Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

Everything is connected. But sometimes we get confused about what that means. We use moments of synchronicity to confirm our story, not reality. We put all this weight and importance on a few signs from the universe, assigning meaning based on what we want to see. This often results in a lot of waiting… and misery. It’s how people end up waiting for their “soul mate” to wake up and realize what has been right in front of them the whole time. Sadly it doesn’t happen. Connection is created through love and abundance, not fear and scarcity.

If you ever dated someone who you really clicked with, then he/she started pulling away, perhaps you started to look for signs that you’re meant to be together. You know the same circle of people, like the same flavor of ice cream and grew up near each other. Your astrological chart even says you’re a perfect match. You’re so in sync… he/she must be the one! So you don’t date anyone else and you wait. For years, maybe. Does he/she ever come around? No. In this episode you’ll learn that synchronicity is an inside job, not a bunch of external signs. It comes FROM connection, not in trying to create connection to match your story. Before you pin your hopes on a series of synchronous signs, listen to this podcast.

Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt

Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST.

Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

In this special series, Tracy will be answering your questions around emotional baggage. This week she dives into the hot topics of emotional resilience, being afraid of the work needed to have a healthy relationship, and being excited about dating.

Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt

Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST.

Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

Meghan's dad was very insistent on her getting a degree in engineering. She moved to New York to go to Parsons, where she met her ex-husband. They moved out to LA, and her life changed completely. She went from being a designer in New York from being a stay at home mom in LA. She started studying Reiki, and eventually, she discovered Feng Shui. After her husband asked for the divorce, she struggled financially and worried about being able to provide for her children. Her phone started ringing soon enough after friends and family started noticing her Feng Shui work in her own place, and her business has been growing ever since.

Here's what we talked about:

-Why her dad forced her to get an engineering degree

-Being attached to outcomes

-How she started her business out of pure necessity

-Going through a difficult divorce

-How Feng Shui aligns every area of life

-How your house reflects the presence of sensuality in a home

Here's more about Meghan:

Meghan Wallace James, a Los Angeles–based feng shui consultant, has designed a modern take on the practice, with a particularly intriguing goal—it might help improve your sex life. She fell in love with feng shui three years ago, thanks to a trio of events: a cross-country move, a home renovation, and a sudden divorce. A former engineer and fashion designer, she created her technique with patience, time, and bold experimentation, making sure to listen to her home and possessions while researching the core principles. To test her process, she sent an email to the mothers at her son's preschool offering free consults. "Via those consults, I discovered that, one, I am a baby whisperer and can get kids to sleep through the night by rearranging their bedrooms, and two, that sensuality within a home is pivotal and primordial, for, in its absence, the energy is soggy and weak." It was those initial consults that allowed her to create her modern take on feng shui: a "passionate trifecta" of space, style, and sex, which applies to every one of her clients.

Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt

Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST.

Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

What flaw are you constantly trying to hide? What holds you back from what you want in life? What do you beat yourself up about regularly? Maybe it’s your thighs, or your education level, or your salary, or the fact that you’re single. Insecurity is just another form of problem-solving. You believe if the problem (i.e. insecurity) were to go away, everything would be fine. The path ahead would be clear of obstacles: “If I just had a college degree, I’d be able to get a better job.” Uh… not exactly. Getting rid of your flaws does not bring you closer to happiness—accepting them does.

When you focus on your insecurities, you actually create obstacles because it distracts you from achieving what you want. You miss out on the life you could be living because you’re so fixated on solving what you THINK is the problem. But what then? Will you automatically be happier when your thighs are skinny, or you finally get into a relationship? Nope, and you will find other insecurities to focus on. In this episode, you’ll learn steps toward accepting your flaws so you no longer use them as an excuse for not having what you want. It’s a powerful exercise in self-compassion and self-love.

Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt

Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST.

Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

In this special series, Tracy will be answering your questions around emotional baggage. This week she dives into the hot topics of beating yourself up for our past behavior, mixed signals, and judging yourself when an ex moves on.

Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt

Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST.

Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

How often do you make assumptions about how someone else is feeling based on how you would feel? Or believe you have them figured out based on past experiences? This is called projecting, and it’s one of many ways we create distance in relationships. You think you have people figured out, but the way you think, feel and act is not the same as other people.

This happens a lot with texting. You receive a text and assign a bunch of meaning to it: why they reached out, their goal, their mood, their motivation. You come to a conclusion based on what you would do (“Oh yeah, I would totally lie in this situation”), or based on past experiences (“This is what so-and-so said before they broke things off with me!”). But… what if you’re wrong? What if this person’s intention is totally different than what you assume? When you assign blame without knowing the truth, your reaction contributes to the outcome you fear. So if you’re afraid of being rejected and assume that’s what’s happening, you’re more likely to create it.

If you want to be close to someone, stop projecting your thoughts and feelings onto others. The simple act of asking creates connection rather than distance. In this episode, we’ll look at how your fear of disappointment drives this behavior, and how to stop assuming your way to the outcome you DON’T want.

Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt

Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST.

Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

In this special series, Tracy will be answering your questions around emotional baggage. This week she dives into the hot topics of people-pleasing in female friendships, taking responsibility for your own happiness, communicating from the beginning when dating someone.

Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt

Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST.

Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

Dana felt like there was something wrong with her all the time in her twenties, and she tried everything and anything you can name trying to fix herself until she ended up in the hospital. No matter what she tried, she felt like there was something to fix. After coming out of the hospital, she vowed never to follow any other expert telling her what to do blindly. She found Feng Shui and decided to do it for her own personal gain but did not intend to make it a career at all. Eventually, she got to a place where she felt like nothing was missing, and she's been working with people ever since.

Here's what we talked about:

-Feeling like something is always wrong

-Growing up with self-help books

-Following trends and experts without doubt

-Dana ending up in the hospital and how she recovered

-How Dana found Feng Shui and why she decided to get certified

-Enjoying something when there is no monetary gain behind it

-The School of Intention and how it integrates Feng Shui into daily life

Here's more about Dana:

Dana Claudat is a Feng Shui Master, artist, and writer. She's the founder of The School of Intention training, where she shares her revolutionary method of modern Feng Shui-- based on Infinite Possibility, Creative Awakening and Intention. In addition, she's a speaker, writer and an Instructor at Mind Body Green.

Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt

Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST.

Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

Your partner is too short, likes you too much, has a job you don’t like or breathes too loudly. You hear the voices of other people in your head judging them, even if those people never say anything to you. You worry about your mate not measuring up, but this judgment is really your own self-judgment, stemming from a state of lack. You don’t feel you deserve someone who cares about you, but instead of dealing with those deeper feelings, you punish them.

You’re like a porcupine, bristling and irritated for no reason (what did they do?!). The drama you create is triggered by your unconscious, causing you to withdraw and create distance. You’re stuck and frustrated, but also afraid your punishment might push them away. It’s an anxious dance. If you notice yourself doing this, ask yourself why you are choosing to be in a relationship with this person. Have they really done something horrible, or is it your own feeling of not being good enough?

When you punish others, you are also punishing yourself and causing misery for the both of you. In this episode, learn how to check in with yourself when the anger or irritation bubbles up, then look inside to question where it comes from. The more you can connect with what’s really going on and own it, the less compelled you’ll feel to punish someone for simply being human.

Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt

Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST.

Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617