How often do you make assumptions about how someone else is feeling based on how you would feel? Or believe you have them figured out based on past experiences? This is called projecting, and it’s one of many ways we create distance in relationships. You think you have people figured out, but the way you think, feel and act is not the same as other people.

This happens a lot with texting. You receive a text and assign a bunch of meaning to it: why they reached out, their goal, their mood, their motivation. You come to a conclusion based on what you would do (“Oh yeah, I would totally lie in this situation”), or based on past experiences (“This is what so-and-so said before they broke things off with me!”). But… what if you’re wrong? What if this person’s intention is totally different than what you assume? When you assign blame without knowing the truth, your reaction contributes to the outcome you fear. So if you’re afraid of being rejected and assume that’s what’s happening, you’re more likely to create it.

If you want to be close to someone, stop projecting your thoughts and feelings onto others. The simple act of asking creates connection rather than distance. In this episode, we’ll look at how your fear of disappointment drives this behavior, and how to stop assuming your way to the outcome you DON’T want.

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