Freedom from Attachment

In this special series, Tracy will be answering your questions around emotional baggage. This week she dives into the hot topics of choosing preferences vs. connection when dating, staying in an unhappy marriage for your kids, and introducing your partner to your family.

Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt

Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST.

Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

Recently, by looking at myself and where I used to be, I've had a big realization: I've come so far in my journey of attachment. I listen to others who are trying to salvage relationships with people who it is “square peg/round hole” situations and the pain, the suffering and hope that this could somehow turn into something which feels good is a motivator. The big issue is that you aren’t being nice to yourself and I guarantee you may not feel your date or mate is being nice to you either.

In my relationship, my husband cares about my feelings, and he does nice things for me all the time. At an earlier point in my life, I would've been waiting for the big reveal, for the moment he realizes that I'm worthless. Meanwhile, I would've done everything that I could to prove I was worthy of someone being good to me. All that work, all the time left me always feeling like I just had to do more; it was a constant push/pull. I've learned how to break my own patterns of self-sabotage and receive love and attention. As I have grown, I care about my own feelings, I care what I give and what I receive; I am all about feeling good and having that reflected by handling someone being nice to me.

In today's episode, you'll learn how to love and accept yourself, so you can finally be ready for a happy, healthy relationship.

Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt

Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST.

Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

In this special series, Tracy will be answering your questions around emotional baggage. This week she dives into the hot topics of letting go of relationships, believing someone will change because of you, and when you should not be vulnerable.

Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: https://bit.ly/2WRdKBt

Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST.

Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

Lisa had to make the difficult decision of ending her marriage when she realized she was conditioning her kids to be dysfunctional just as her parents had programmed her. It killed her inside to see the effect of what she was doing in her children. Her therapist told her it would take everything she had to change it, but she knew she had to do it. After an ugly divorce, her personal trainer clients started to express their interest in her coaching them. She built her website and started writing about what she had learned and people responded! She eventually wrote her book ''The Road Back to Me'" and it became an Amazon bestseller. After that, the flood gates opened, she wrote more books and became a certified life coach. She now helps people to get out of the patterns they run and stop begin codependent.

Here's what we talked about:

-How Lisa found out she wasn't crazy but codependent

-Getting into the wrong relationships because the new potential partner looks good on paper

-People-pleasing as a result of feeling unworthy

-Self-care being deemed as selfish by the people in your life

-A marriage not surviving if both people don't grow together

-Going from victimhood to empowerment

-Codependency and the patterns we run over and over again

-Understanding where you come from is the only way to change where you're going

-Attachment vs. codependency

Here's more about Lisa:

Lisa A. Romano is a Certified Life Coach, bestselling author, and YouTube Vlogger specializing in codependency and narcissistic abuse recovery. Lisa is also one of the most listened to meditation teachers on Insight Timer and her podcast, Breakdown to Breakthrough ranks in the top 100 of the mental health category.

Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST.

Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

Your life isn't a fairytale, who’s is? For some of us we have this sneaky little habit. It’s called looking for problems, all the time and you probably don’t even know it! Perhaps, you're someone who looks for problems as a distraction. If you were to look at your life objectively, do you really have any major problems? I get it if you do, absolutely! Sometimes things happen that are to be dealt with and you have no choice. But I am talking about where you do have a choice, where if you were to focus on the good in your life you would realize there is not a real problem. And that is where you want to have awareness, the awareness of how you create problems with impossible solutions to keep you from looking inside and figuring out what's really going on.

With everything happening in the world right now that's out of your control, you might be feeling like a victim of circumstances. You might wake up every day afraid and anxious, watching the news, social media, anything that can feed right into how you feel these reactive feelings. Often though there is no looking beneath the reactions you feel, instead it’s an avoidance of what is really going on inside. It is how you avoid what triggers you or why you feel out of control on the inside, so it just keeps you in a cycle of repetition. Looking at the same reactions every day and calling that the problem rather than digging deeper to see what is really going on!

In today's podcast, I'll show you that your life isn't really a mess, but a distraction. You'll learn to grow up and live your life without fear weighing you down.

Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST.

Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

In this special series, Tracy will be answering your questions around emotional baggage. This week she dives into the hot topics of avoiding through distractions, feeling responsible for sabotaging your relationship, and creating problems that don't exist.

Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST.

Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

You want a relationship. In fact when you think about it, it sounds great! But the reality is that the only place it is functional is in your head. You want to connect with someone, but you hate the thought of being out of control of your emotions. Self-discipline matters more, you've built your whole life on control: what you wear, what you eat, how you look. Even when you find yourself attached to someone, you spend so much time trying to get your control back. You are an emotional avoidant, a self-disciplined one.

In today's episode, you'll learn how to stop avoiding and invest in your emotional freedom. That's the only way you can truly live.

Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST.

Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

In this special series, Tracy will be answering your questions around emotional baggage. This week she dives into the hot topics of the connection between feeling your feelings and law of attraction and trying to change your partner, fixing yourself before fixing your relationship.

Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST.

Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

If you would like to support the podcast, make sure you check out my Patreon page to see how you can do it. Plus, you get all kinds of cool rewards: www.patreon.com/tracycrossley

Damona Hoffman grew up in a predominantly white suburb in Michigan, and as a biracial woman, she didn't feel she was attractive enough to date at a young age. Once she was able to celebrate her unique characteristics and learned to love them, she found her ideal partner. Damona worked in casting and teaching actors when she started noticing the similarities between casting and online dating. After she met her husband online, people started coming to her for help with their dating profiles. Using her knowledge of how to get noticed from her years in casting, she helped many people meet their significant other.

Here's what we talked about:

-Her switch between shitty dating and good dating

-Confusing initial chemistry in a date with love

-The importance of mindset in finding an ideal partner

-The visualization exercise she does with her clients

-How she manifested her husband

-How she became a dating coach after interviewing for 17 jobs and not getting any of them

-Looking for signs and confirmations that you're on the right path

Here's more about Damona:

Damona Hoffman is a dating coach & media personality who starred in two A+E Networks' TV series: #BlackLove and A Question of Love. She's a regular contributor to The Washington Post, LA Times, CNN Headline News (HLN), BET.com, and more. She also hosts and produces the weekly podcast, Dates & Mates with Damona Hoffman.

Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST.

Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

At a young age, we learned to hide the parts of ourselves that made adults uncomfortable. It can feel like in your mind you will never be known. Some of us created a whole identity on not being known and our struggle to be seen and heard as who we were and are. It can create a great deal of shame, because it may be the feeling you try to avoid by hiding who you are. You may have been shamed for what you did or did not do because your parents didn't know how to deal with you. They may have been going through their own stuff, which limited how they were able to deal.

The shame has carried through your adult life still with the identity and the feeling of will anyone ever really know me and stay? You've struggled to feel seen and to find value in yourself because your environment growing up did not give you an opportunity for anyone to see the real you.

This struggle for validation is generational. To finally be authentically you, you have to learn to let go of the feelings your parents (and their parents, and their parents and so on) have projected onto you. In this episode, you'll learn how to break the cycle of generational shame, not being known and connect with yourself.

The only way you find happiness is through self-acceptance. You have to learn to just be you. In this episode, you'll learn how to tackle your shame and break your cycle of perfectionism.

Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST.

Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

If you would like to support the podcast, make sure you check out my Patreon page to see how you can do it. Plus, you get all kinds of cool rewards: www.patreon.com/tracycrossley