September 26, 2022

Gain Clarity On Your Dreams; Amber Fuhriman

33 minutes

Amber Fuhriman is an attorney, Certified NLP Trainer, Speaker, and Success Architect. After realizing that her entire identity had been tied up in being an attorney, Amber has spent the past 5 years, pushing her own boundaries and learning about how our past experiences affect our success. Now, in addition to practicing law, Amber uses her NLP knowledge as well as her experiences with grief, professional success, and physical challenges, including a 24-hour endurance obstacle course race, to help other business owners and entrepreneurs gain clarity on what they want finally live a life and business they deserve.

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Contact Info

Company: Success Development Solutions

Website: www.successdevelopmentsolutions.com

Podcast: More Than Corporate

Most Influential Person

Her Dad.

Effect on Emotions

Growing up, I was always the kid that was too emotional. I was the kid that wanted to hug family four or five, six times before I left I was the kid that said goodbye a bunch. I was the crier. I'm still the crier. I feel like my friends just carry around tissues with them because they know I'm coming.

Mindfulness has helped me realize that that's not a weakness. Mindfulness has helped me realize that it's okay to feel those emotions and express them. And that too emotional isn't really a thing. But to close off is.

Thoughts on Breathing

I do believe that breathing is related to mindfulness. I also believe that when you are in the middle of the time you need it the most. If one person looks at you and says Just breathe, you want to punch him in the face. So for me when I have people who are struggling with anything where they need to slow their mind down, while I do tell them to breathe, I tell them to count first, because that's what made a difference for me.

For me, it was math problems, I would do math problems in my head until I forgot what I needed to breathe about. And then I would do breathing exercises, because I feel like when it when you're completely overtaken with emotion, whether that be anxiety or panic or fear, whatever it is, that when you breathe, sometimes you can't turn your mind off enough to make the breathing worth it. But multitasking is a myth, we can't do it.

So if you force your brain to focus on math problems, your brain can't focus on whatever it's afraid of. And then as soon as you forget what it is that you were doing math problems for, then you can breathe to recenter yourself.

Suggested Resources

Book: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life By Mark Manson

Book: I Hope I Screw This Up: How Falling in Love with Your Fears Can Change the World By Kyle Cease

App: Spotify

Bullying Story

My mom, and I have an amazing relationship now. And she has listened to my podcast and we have these conversations. So I'm not saying anything I wouldn't say to her. When I decided I was going to go to law school, her response to me was, I think you should pick a less ambitious goal because I don't want to comfort you when you fail. And to me, that was my mom telling me that she didn't believe in me.

That was my mom telling me that I wasn't strong enough. And that was just one of many things that I have internalized and become the victim of because of my own mindset.

I graduated from law school and I graduated at the top of my class passing the bar for the first time building this amazing career. And I still never felt like she supported me. And then I went through NLP.

I learned that statements are never about me and always about her. And what happens is she grew up in a different generation where going out and doing something like going to law school and moving across the country on her own. She couldn't see herself as being capable of doing those things. So the statements that she was making towards me weren't coming from a place of hatred or anger or lack of support. They were coming from a place of her not knowing how to support me because my actions were something she couldn't relate to.

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