It’s Christmas, which means two things: Kristin’s wearing a periodic-table tree shirt, and I’m reminiscing about the worst cafeteria meal in VA history (“brown meal,” may it never return).

But the real adventure this week? Our kid suddenly developed mysterious brown patches on her skin, smooth, painless, and deeply unsettling for two parents whose medical degrees contain zero pediatrics. Cue the panic Googling, the advice nurse, and the pediatrician casually wiping it off with an alcohol pad like a magic trick.

Then we dive headfirst into microbiology, where we rediscover that: Anaerobes “can’t breathe fresh air,” Encapsulated bacteria are the gym bros of the microbe world, andnd urease-positive organisms somehow got saddled with the mnemonic P CHUNKS.

Takeaways:

Terra Firma-Forme Dermatosis: The completely benign, extremely weird skin condition that wipes right off with alcohol.

Holiday Clinic Life: Why no one wants their eyes dilated on Christmas Eve (except maybe for the sparkly lights).

Anaerobe Mayhem: “Can’t breathe fresh air” and other microbiology mnemonics that should probably be illegal.

Encapsulated Bacteria: The microscopic linebackers that even your spleen has strong opinions about.

P CHUNKS: The urease-positive mnemonic you’ll wish you could forget.

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A friendly reminder from the G’s and Tarsus: If you want to learn more about Demodex Blepharitis, making an appointment with your eye doctor for an eyelid exam can help you know for sure. Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.EyelidCheck.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for more information. 

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