After my recent pepper spray video unexpectedly hit 5–6 million views, we break down what actually happens to your eyes when exposed to pepper spray, what to do immediately, whether baby shampoo is your new best friend, and why milk absolutely does not belong anywhere near your corneas.

We also talk contact lenses (don’t wear them into situations where pepper spray is possible), corneal abrasions, how permanent scarring can happen, and why irrigation is the universal ophthalmology answer to almost everything.

Then we pivot into Southwest Airlines abandoning open seating and why apparently no one knows how to behave on planes anymore. Assigned seats, overhead bin warfare, and whether sitting in the back of the plane is actually safer.

And finally, we workshop a potentially revolutionary idea: what if after-visit summaries had jokes in them? Could AI make medical paperwork funny enough to actually read? Or are we just asking for dad-joke malpractice?

Takeaways:

Irrigation Is Everything: When it comes to pepper spray exposure, rinse early, rinse often, and please stop rubbing your eyes.

Milk Is Not an Eye Treatment: Even if it helps spicy food, it does not belong in your corneas.

Contacts Make Things Worse: Remove them after irrigation, not during peak panic.

Public Behavior Is Changing: Whether it’s protests or plane boarding, social norms feel… fragile.

Boring Medicine Might Need Humor: If patients don’t read after-visit summaries, maybe the problem isn’t the summary, maybe it’s the delivery.

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