Going Terribly

Once upon a Tuesday dreary, while I floundered, weak and weary,

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the hot June weather;

Skyline, you're ain't all that.

Additional discussion topics may include:

- An emotional pilgrimage to the jungle. Kinda.

- How to replace your window AC unit with high end surround sound

- Multiplication table learning tips! No, really!

- Ball pits, squid ink, chili shockers...which of these things did we taste?

- A lit bit of that hard p

A terribly adorable episode in which Alice and Doug talk about wholesomely themed parties, friendly insects, giant cozy blankies, nostalgic reality stars, and a wedding reception on Uranus. What?

Other discussion topics may include:

- A jacket full of Stovetop...misunderstanding or brilliant invention?

- Competitive bouquet catching

- Vanna White's spin-off series "Turning That D"

- Are we all just characters inside childhood Alice's dream?

- Just remember, folks. You wipe what you squeeze.

How to describe this week's episode... It's intimately illuminating and oddly philosophical...yet also terribly irreverent and straight-up gross. What, that sounds like all our episodes? Yeah, I was afraid of that. 

All right, you know what? We're all adults. You can handle it. 

We talk about how we wipe, okay? Yeah. It's flipping fascinating.

Other discussion topics may include:

- How to fail at donating blood

- The return of the menstrual cup

- Blood trunks...which may or may not be poop related

- Spoonerisms...which are not roop pelated at all

- The proper time to oil a squeaky door (a fluid that's NOT bodily...so there!)

The AC was out, so our brains were fried. This here synopsis is just a list of alternative titles for this short episode.

Two Exquisite Corpses in a Google Egg of Easter

Other discussion topics may include:

- Hopefully not jinxing Betty White (and, again, hopefully not jinxing her with this mention either)

- What is the technical term for a weenus?

- Exhibit A in a potential Alanis Morissette lawsuit

- How many consecutive games of Russian Roulette have you ever won?

- Goof juice, poop walls, and baked bean serenades

The first episode of June gets a bit kinky -- what with the rotisserie chickens and feline anxiety medication and Do Not Resuscitate orders. We really do need to abide by Robert's Rules of Order if we're gonna experiment with robotic gerbils in the miniature wind-up sex dungeon on Noah's Ark. I mean, really.

Other discussion topics may include:

- How to properly tick off British women

- An acknowledgement of polka instruments and racist cookware

- Hepatitis types and other liver information

- The underutilization of hunchbacked Americans in modern cinema

- Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama

It's time for the NBA Playoffs, and Doug has concocted a couple of peachy keen, basketbally games that Alice just...totally nutmegs...on... Am I using that right? There are also absolutely NO SPOILERS about a certain...face-obscured reality singing competition... 

Other discussion topics may include:

- How to look like Winnie the Pooh while still being a great basketball player

- A celebration of the mortality of (most of) the living U.S. Presidents

- If you were a multi-millionaire, how much would you be willing to spend on a lollipop?

- Of Kings and Vultures: How a TV Host Charmed America's Ears...From the Grave

- Crushed bananas. If you know what we mean.

Doug and Alice return to their scatological roots in this poopy yet educational episode. Sorry, not sorry.

Other discussion topics may include:

- An education on the most serious of vibrators

- The legend of the Brooklyn Embryo

- How to offend a genie

- The Complete Game of Neil Patrick Harris Abridged

- Defecation vs. Childbirth: An uneducated study of their similarities

Alice and Doug toured some White Castles,

Last week, Doug and Alice #SetPfizersToStun and recovered by watching #LoveVaxually and making #LymphBiscuits. This week, they get free donuts and beer and write dirty limericks.

Other discussion topics may include:

- A tale of fowl and fleeting fame

- Innards, outards, and other Barack Abominations

- Risking literal freedom for the culinary arts. Featuring a side of heroin.

- A celebration of possibly the greatest day in the history of the universe

- Grease made those multiplyin' chills sound great. They're not. They're really not.

Its may the 4th. U know what that means. Doug and Alice celebrate better speech and langauge month by singing 'Pomps and Circumstance,' which is in the pubic domain. Who knew? Theres alot of It Went Terribly's and a big reveal about that 'this is your brian on drugs' marijauna commerical to.

Other discussion topics may include:

- How to accidentally(?) borrow heroin from your neighbor

- V-checks, mortorboards, and other topical terms that sound filthier than they are

- Donald Trump vs. China Cat

- The best Dairy Queen Blizzard options. Such as S&Ms.

- An untrue and totally unnecessary alternate definition of "chili"

In honor of both Going Terribly's 30th episode AND National Tell a Story Day, Doug shares a lovely, traumatic children's book idea about a chicken who befriends a whale that'll make you weep, and Alice wonders if Kay Fabulous would be a good name for a character in that play about pro wrestling that she's never gonna write.   

Other discussion topics may include:

- Calling ahead to ask about restrooms, just in case your nails won't work

- Eighth grade accomplishments - Unbelievable then, unrealistic now

- An unnecessary critique of someone who ran coast to coast

- Descending walruses and undescended testicles

- Johnny Player: Man, Myth, Garage Wrestling Legend