#005 - Last week I shared many examples of older adults living in long-term care communities whose families are not able to visit them in person. You probably know older adults who have been admitted to the hospital since the Coronavirus Pandemic and aren't allowed to have family by their side to comfort them and advocate for them.

This experience is incredibly upsetting and unsettling for families... because in times of pain and suffering and fear and loss and illness, it's healthy to reach to others for closeness. In fact,  being physically close with our loved ones when we are sick actually provides comfort and helps us to heal.

This is a cruel irony indeed. On one hand, physical comfort is healing and protective and on the other hand, physical closeness can cause us harm (e.g., COVID-19). Social distancing when our loved ones are sick, has taken away one of our healthiest coping and soothing strategies.

As if illness was not hard enough, now there's separation to contend with as well. You may be surprised to learn that there is actually a name for what is happening. It's called Ambiguous Loss. And in today's podcast I explore Ambiguous Loss more deeply.

In this episode, I discuss anticipatory grief and ambiguous loss during COVID-19 especially as  they relate to older adults and their families. And, I’ll offer suggestions for moving through grief during the Coronavirus pandemic. 

Here’s a look at what I talk about in this episode…

• [02:47] Everything you need to know about anticipatory grief, starts here.
• [04:08] When we begin to process grief, there's a common experience of reflecting on missed opportunities in the past and anticipating losses in the future. Learn why.
• [06:02] COVID-19 is de-stabilizing life as we knew it and triggering anticipatory grief. As humans, however, we are no strangers to this type of grief, we experience it all throughout our lives. 
• [10:47] You may be surprised to hear that I am grateful for the concept of ambiguous loss. I explain why.
• [12:59] There are two types of Ambiguous Loss. Part One: Psychological Presence and Physical Absence is described here. We are experiencing a tremendous amount of this type of loss during the Coronavirus Pandemic.
• [15:46] The second type of Ambiguous Loss is when there is a Psychological Absence and a Physical Presence, like with dementia. This is one of the reasons caring for a loved one with dementia is so incredibly painful. 
• [18:16] I share several recommendations for helping you to move through anticipatory grief and ambiguous loss with
  
  

By the end of this episode, you'll have a language for talking about how complicated what you're going through actually is during COVID-19 and why you may be feeling drained at the end of the day. You'll understand that grief is a natural human experience and the more we can acknowledge it, normalize it, and find ways to work with it and through it, the better and healthier we'll all be.

Check out the show notes here!

Download your free COVID-19 Wellness Guide for Older Adults here!

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