Healthy romantic relationships seem to be in short supply these days. That’s because they don’t just happen, they are hard work just like anything else in life that is worth having. Rosetta’s guest on this episode is Zara Green, relationship expert and coach who helps her clients understand what’s going on inside that is holding them back when it comes to romance and a fulfilling life. Zara has powerful life-changing concepts to share on this episode so please, please don’t miss this one.

The basis of great relationships is H.E.R (Honor, Esteem, and Respect)

When Zara Green is asked what it takes to have a healthy romantic relationship she immediately refers to an acronym - H.E.R - which stands for Honor, Esteem, and Respect. It’s not about spark or chemistry. Those can and will dissipate over time, so why are they the things we look to when it comes to our initial curiosity about a possible relationship? Zara says you need to clearly know what it means to be honored, esteemed, and respected as a woman and insist on it in how you are treated. That’s when you’re strong enough to give those things in return and when you’re ready to build a healthy relationship based on those values.

You don’t get what you deserve, you get what you expect.

Much of what Zara Green does with her clients is uncover the foundation their lives are built on. They have long conversations, with Zara asking many questions, prodding and poking at many sore spots, with the goal of finding the underlying beliefs that hold people back from pursuing everything they desire. She typically discovers that the expectations people have about life are what they wind up getting - and when those expectations can be challenged and then changed, everything in life changes. Find out more on this episode of Happy Black Woman.

Your personal life does not stand on the basis of your professional life.

When Rosetta asked her guest, Zara Green for 3 pieces of advice to women who are seeking to become healthy themselves in order to be ready for a healthy romantic relationship, she said the very first thing a woman needs to understand is that her personal life does not stand or fall on the basis of her professional life. In fact, it’s the other way around. Raging success in business will never fix problems or wrong beliefs in your personal life. You’ve got to build your person, your character to be very strong in spite of the setbacks and difficulties of business - and you’ll find a fringe benefit - your business will be stronger as a result.

Enjoying your company is enough. A man who insists on more is not the man you want.

There are so many missteps that happen when it comes to romance, and women, being those who instinctively give and serve other people, are prone to make many of them. Zara Green says that no woman should ever give too much before she really knows a man, and that takes time. She says that you need to understand from the start that the privilege of being in your company should be enough for any man - so if a man pressures you for more than that, he isn’t honoring your value as a woman enough and you can leave him behind as you pursue a quality man who does. Zara draws a pretty straight line on this episode, and it’s one that is guided by wisdom, so make sure you listen.

Outline of this great episode

• [0:29] Rosetta’s introduction of Zara D. Green, her expert guest on healthy relationships.
• [4:00] How Zara became co-founder of The Grown Zone.
• [10:50] The unusual way Zara and her husband connected via Twitter and then real life.
• [21:20] You don’t get what you deserve, you get what you expect.
• [26:44] 3 pieces of advice to women who are laying the foundation of self work.
• [37:17] How you can connect with Zara and get her FREE GIFT.

Resources & Links mentioned in this episode

• www.Grownzone.com
• Podcast Download: 11 Things Called Love That Are Anything But.  http://grownzone.com/happyblackwoman/
• http://zaragreen.com/
• Black Enterprise

About Zara Green

Zara helps thriving professionals close personal growth gaps. An individuality advocate, she specializes in resiliency development and is best known for helping others to understand individual temperaments as a key factor of healthy, productive life management with a focus on Next Decision Better™ because it’s never a disappointment and always within reach. Green is known for her messages and teachings on healthy relationship choices founded on love of self, respect of others, and taking personal responsibility for securing both. Along with her husband, Alfred A. Edmond Jr., they authored the Amazon 5-star rating, Loving in the Grown Zone: A No-Nonsense Guide to Making Healthy Decisions in the Quest for Loving, Romantic Relationships of Honor, Esteem and Respect. Together, they offer relationship education coaching, seminars, and products, and lead workshops on self-love and resiliency, healthy relationships and “Grown” decision-making at live events across the country.