The Happy Black Woman Podcast

HBW095: Stop Saying No to Yourself & Start Saying Yes to Your Desires


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Saying “yes” is something that is unnatural for many of us, especially when it comes to saying it to ourselves. There are all kinds of reasons this is true and it is helpful to a certain degree to dig into those reasons. But more important is the recognition that you actually CAN say yes to yourself. There are many times in life when it is entirely appropriate. This episode is aimed at helping you break out of that limiting mindset that causes you to say “no” to yourself so often. Rosetta has some great ideas and practical tips to share, so be sure you listen.

You achieve much once you stop telling yourself you can’t do things. ~ Elizabeth Kadetsky

We all battle to overcome our limitations. It’s part of being human. One of the most common is the tendency to tell yourselves that certain things are off-limits for us. But where did that idea come from? Most likely it is a belief developed during childhood. Did you hear that? Childhood. Are you a child now? No. You are an adult. So what does that mean for your present and future in regards to that belief? Rosetta unpacks some powerful, not-so-obvious truths about why we need to learn to say yes to ourselves more often, on this episode of Happy Black Woman.

When you start a sentence with, “I wish I could…” you’re stuck in child mode.

Have you ever said, “I wish I could go to that event,” or “I wish I was able to afford that nice thing”? If you have, you’re not alone. We all have those kinds of wishes from time to time. But what we need to realize is that there is no reason they have to remain wishes. We are able to bring about the things we want in life by working toward them, by taking steps to make them happen. And the first step is to get out of the child thinking that operates on the level of limitations rather than possibilities. Listen as Rosetta unpacks the dynamics behind those limited wishes and provides 3 things you need to remember that enable you to break free.

Life for you now is different than it was when you were a child. Choose to act like it.

One of the most important things every black woman needs to learn is that the things that were said to you as a child, the limitations you learned when you were small no longer have to control you. You were a child then and it was entirely appropriate for you to stay within the limits your parents set for you. But now you are a grown black woman. The only limitations on you now are those you allow to be on you or choose for yourself. That means there’s a lot you can do to liberate yourself from the little girl limitations you’ve lived in for so long. Join Rosetta for this episode of Happy Black Woman as she unpacks the causes behind why you say “no” to yourself so often.

Outline of this great episode
  • [0:29] Rosetta’s introduction to this episode about no and yes.
  • [2:31] There comes a time in life when you have to give yourself permission.
  • [3:52] When you find yourself limiting yourself, question where the idea came from.
  • [6:26] Understand your place in the world. It’s different now than when you were a child.
  • [8:13] 3 things to remember as you transform your mindset in this area.
Resources & Links mentioned in this episode
  • Early bird pricing - www.HappyBlackWoman.com/summercamp
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The Happy Black Woman PodcastBy Rosetta Thurman

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