Her Mother Tongue

There is nothing quite like parenting--it’s something we want to desperately do well at, and it is simultaneously one of the most difficult things that many of us will ever do. We face fears, failure, triggers of our own emotions, often while experiencing physical and emotional fatigue. However, because of this, children have the capacity to be our greatest teachers. They allow us the opportunity to truly look inside of ourselves when we are triggered, and wake up to our own nature. 

In this episode, Felica had the incredible opportunity of discussing this topic with parenting expert and author, Susan Stiffelman, MFT. She explains how we can use the practice of being present to truly use this journey we have as parents to truly evolve ourselves as we face the daunting task of raising humans to do the same. Her books and her words are unbelievably inspiring and will help you as you navigate your own parenting experience. 

You can learn more about Susan Stiffelman and her work and sign up for her newsletter on her website:  https://susanstiffelman.com. She is offering a webinar you can join her in about coparenting with a narcissist here.

You can listen to this episode on iTunes here or on many other platforms here.

Books we mentioned:

Parenting with Presence // Susan Stiffelman  

Parenting without Power Struggles // Susan Stiffelman 

Loving What Is // Byron Katie 

Playful Parenting // Lawrence Cohen 

Related Episodes:

Finding Joy and Enthusiasm in Every Day

The Martyr Effect. HOW TO Stop Offering Ourselves at the Altar of Parenting

Staying Open to the Present 

Tapping Into the Abundance Inside Us

Janet Lansbury’s episode: The Best Way to Deal With Intense Tantrums 

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alwaysfelicia.substack.com/subscribe

It can appear like people who are successful at achieving their goals simply possess an incredible amount of self control. That kind of belief lets us off the hook from creating the life we really want--we simply lack the self discipline, right? Well, it turns out that as we create habits that add value to our lives, we actually require LESS self control, not more. As we change our environment and our cues and rewards, we have the power to eliminate negative habits and build positive ones that can transform our life. Habits are the key to making our goals a reality. We discuss the science behind habits and explore the work of experts on the subject. We break down the steps for creating a good habit (or ridding yourself of a bad one), and give you applicable tips that you can use right away in your life. We share what has really worked in our own lives as we have experimented with habits and unlocked the magic of things like habit stacking.

Books that inspired us:

Atomic Habits // James Clear

Deep Work // Cal Newport

Essentialism // Greg McKeown

Getting Things Done // David Allen

The Power of Habit // Charles Duhigg

Our Related Episodes:

Habits for High Performance

Systems and Values for Easier Days and Stronger Family Connection

Make Your Morning Routine Happen!

We would love for you to share our episode with your friends and family. Also, thank you so much for your kind reviews! We are so honored to have such wonderful listeners.

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This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alwaysfelicia.substack.com/subscribe

We often receive the message that we can have it all; we can do it all. Social media messages, societal expectations, and our own self talk often feeds the lie that we can do EVERYTHING. When we don’t live up to the unrealistic expectation that we can do everything and succeed at everything, there is a cost to our mental health. 

In this episode, we discuss this topic with New York Times best selling author, Greg McKeown. He helps identify the lie that we can do everything, and instead offers a path of wisdom, balance, and priorities instead of the wild racing that we often indulge in when we are trying to say yes to everything. He gives us very applicable steps on how to make doing what truly matters to us easy.  

BOOKS AND LINKS:

Greg’s Website: https://gregmckeown.com

Effortless: Make It Easier to Do What Matters Most // Greg McKeown 

Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less // Greg McKeown

RELATED EPISODES 

Essentialism / How to Do Less But Better

Discovering YOUR Life Essentials

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alwaysfelicia.substack.com/subscribe

Research indicates that preschoolers, on average, make three demands/requests per minute! Wow. It’s no wonder we feel overwhelmed. “Watch me!” “Get that!” “Where’s my dinosaur?!” 

In this episode we talk about practical ideas and tools that have helped us navigate the barrage of daily requests, questions, and demands in a way that allows you to maintain calm and respect for your kids and yourself. 

Books & Links we mention

Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child: The Heart of Parenting // John Gottman with Joan DeClaire

Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans // Michaeleen Doucleff 

Mom Watch Compilation by Johnson Files

Related Episodes

230 // Pt 1: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans // Michaeleen Doucleff

Systems and Values for Easier Days and Stronger Family Connections (Entitlement Trap by Linda Eyre and Richard Eyre)

How To: Create Pockets of Peace

Time Stamps

10:00 How many requests our kids make per minute

13:15 Why we future focus and how inputs from our kids overwhelm us 

14:15 Are our kids self centered?

23:18 Using body language and social cues

25:55 Mom watch this watch this!!

29:00 Do you have a hard time tuning out noise/ kids?

32:18 Good parenting does not mean responding to everything request 

40:01 Ask, is my child seeking connection?

Sponsor:

GABB WIRELESS

We LOVE devices that help our kids stay safe and be able to adventure while still being able to contact us safely and allow us to know where they are without being the kind of technology that steals their mental health and attention. Gabb wireless is an incredible company that we FULLY endorse for just that. Go to https://gabbwireless.com and use code FINDTHEMAGIC to get $50 off any device!

Thank you for the kind reviews! We appreciate them so much. Here is how to leave a review for us  on iTunes:

Open Find the Magic in the podcast app  

Scroll to the bottom of the page

Click on write a review

Tap the stars to rate us and then write us some feedback:)

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alwaysfelicia.substack.com/subscribe

Having a secure relationship with our partner is the foundation for a long, happy life. Building on this relationship we create meaningful and lasting lives that support our psychological development as well as provide a strong foundation for our children, careers and physical health. We loved reading Relationship RX by Stan Tatkin and we had to distill this one for you! In this episode we discuss how knowing your attachment style can guide you to a self awareness that enhances your ability to connect, repair and forgive. We also share our favorite tactics from the book for putting your relationship first, healing past wounds and supporting each other in parenting. 
Related Episodes 
Putting Connection With Our Spouse First
How to own your desires with Jennifer Finlayson-Fife
Time Stamps
12:00 - Attachment styles
14:05 - Anchors
16:30 - Waves
20:01 - Islands
32:33 - The relationship as an entity should be the highest priority
35:35 - Conflicts within a relationship
44:30 - Am I putting my role as a parent, or my hobby over my primary attachment?
46:17 - Supporting your spouse in parenting
51:40 - Secret password for stressful parenting moments
57:50 - Bring issues up preventatively

Sponsor:
GABB WIRELESS
We LOVE devices that help our kids stay safe and be able to adventure while still being able to contact us safely and allow us to know where they are without being the kind of technology that steals their mental health and attention. Gabb wireless is an incredible company that we FULLY endorse for just that. Go to https://gabbwireless.com and use code FINDTHEMAGIC to get $50 off any device!
Thank you for the kind reviews! We appreciate them so much. Here is how to leave a review for us  on iTunes:
Open Find the Magic in the podcast app  
Scroll to the bottom of the page
Click on write a review
Tap the stars to rate us and then write us some feedback:)

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alwaysfelicia.substack.com/subscribe

There are lots of decisions that we make as parents that are made out of guilt or a sense of obligation. In this episode we talk about how to navigate parenting questions from a place of wholeness in order to figure out what will be best for parent AND child. We talk about whether or not to do preschool and *spoiler alert* there is no one perfect decision. :)

Related Episodes

228 // Making Friendships, Creating Community, and How to Know When You’re Done Having Kids

Patience with Aggressive Behavior, Friendships in Motherhood and Making Peace with Your Inner Landscape

Guidance for the Changing seasons of Motherhood

Time Stamps

1:44 - To preschool or not to preschool?

3:00 - Taralyn’s experience with kids going or not going to preschool

10:30 - Felica’s experience

14:15 - the questioning of our choices because it’s the worth the wrestle

16:09 - What will be the best for you and your child?

18:55 - Eliminating the guilt

Sponsor:

GABB WIRELESS

We LOVE devices that help our kids stay safe and be able to adventure while still being able to contact us safely and allow us to know where they are without being the kind of technology that steals their mental health and attention. Gabb wireless is an incredible company that we FULLY endorse for just that. Go to https://gabbwireless.com and use code FINDTHEMAGIC to get $50 off any device!

Thank you for the kind reviews! We appreciate them so much. Here is how to leave a review for us  on iTunes:

Open Find the Magic in the podcast app  

Scroll to the bottom of the page

Click on write a review

Tap the stars to rate us and then write us some feedback:)

Review of the week from mamaErinE

So much wisdom and humility

You women are amazing, thank you

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alwaysfelicia.substack.com/subscribe

Healing your body and spirit postpartum is a topic that is both under talked about and misunderstood. In this episode Katelin interviews Arielle Martone, doctor of physical therapy, yoga teacher and postnatal coach turned postpartum wellness coach after having 2 kids and overcoming postpartum depression and pelvic pain herself. She has 12+ years of experience and utilizes her knowledge and background to help new moms reconnect to mind/body and actually heal postpartum so they can feel strong and confident not only in their bodies but who they are becoming.

You can learn from Arielle at the following links:

www.findyourwaymama.com

www.instagram.com/ariellemartone

Free Resources

Pelvic Floor Recovery Guide   

Exhausted to Energized without Sleep Training 

Related Episodes

HOW TO Prepare Children for a New Sibling: a Conversation with Upbringing
Prepping Kids for New Babies, Earning vs. Rewarding, Quiet Time Tips, & Our Favorite Life Hacks

Time Stamps

1:42 - Intro to Arielle and the importance of postpartum care

11:40 - The signs to be aware of with Postpartum mood disorders

13:50 - Normalize seeking help vs. normalizing the struggle

16:30 - Feeling like something is “off” is a signal

20:20 - Trust yourself

26:50 - Tips to recover if you feel like you have no time

31:27 - Pay attention to when you’re saying “should”

39:50 - Prioritize your sleep and give yourself grace

41:25 - How “bounce back culture” can be a detriment to our overall health

47:09 - Don’t rush back into physical exercise

51:05 - Trust your body

57:15 - Pelvic Floor Therapy exercises

1:03:00 - Exhausted to energized

1:05:16 - How to get back to our true selves after having kids

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alwaysfelicia.substack.com/subscribe

The beginning of the school year is filled with many conflicting emotions for both our kids and us as parents. In this episode we share favorite tips, ideas and traditions that will help you start the year off right and from a place of wholeness. 

Related Episodes

207 // We Are All Good Inside: Parenting Without Using Shame and Repairing When We Do, with Dr. Becky Kennedy Part 1 

210 // Navigating Tricky Transitions With Kids Ahead of Time and What to Do When Whining Feels Unbearable: Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy Part 2 

108 // Using Play to Diffuse Power Struggles and Connect With Your Child (based on Playful Parenting by Larence J. Cohen)

118 // Become a Child Whisperer / Parenting Your Kids True to Their Nature (based on the work of Carol Tuttle)

Links Mentioned

Weekly Clothes Organizer 

Fave Books back to school

Kissing hand by Audrey Pen

I Love You All Day Long  by Francesca Rusackas

Super Manny Stands up by Kelly DiPucchio 

Oh the Places You’ll Go by Dr. Seuss

Time Stamps

12:25 - How to navigate the logistics of going back to school with systems

15:35 - Weekly Clothes Organizer

20:17 - Special back to school dinner with notes of encouragement from family

22:21 - Helping your kids emotionally return to school by addressing your own anxieties

25:21 - Emotional vaccination with your kids

27:24 - Visualizing mediation the night before

27:55 - Review the child whisperer to help your kids deal with the upcoming

31:42 - Reading a back to school book

34:19 - Making love bracelets

35:00 - First day special events

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alwaysfelicia.substack.com/subscribe

Fall is the perfect time to reset our rituals, intentions and systems. In this magic moment Felica shares 2 rituals that are resetting her emotional wellness. The first centers on grieving our losses; the small day to day things we try to push past. The second is a ritual for visualizing our intentions and future goals around parenting and reframing our day to day tasks.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alwaysfelicia.substack.com/subscribe

Centering our minds and finding a place of peace in our days is crucial in modern parenting. Our phones are filled with demands that pull us away from ourselves, our desires and our families. On top of that the demands of our lives from appointments to chores call us away from creating connection and relationships. 

In this episode we refresh our determination to keep saying yes to connection and no to superficial distraction. We share why and our favorite tips and tricks for cultivating a present life. 

Related Episodes

How to Enhance Your Ability to Be Present

227 // Magic Moment: Recommitting to Your Phone Detox

⁠204 // Daily Life As a Spiritual Practice⁠⁠Solitude Through Digital Minimalism

Time Stamps

11:04 - How can we curb distraction?

12:15 - Delete your apps

15:00 - Set aside time for phone time

16:30 - Turn off notifications

17:33 - A box for your phone

19:23 - A key to having self control - change your environment

22:46 - How to be present when our minds are preoccupied

24:41 - Maybe lower your standards for what needs to be done

27:20 - Magical mind will serve a magical body

29:00 - Practice being still

Thank you for the kind reviews! We appreciate them so much. Here is how to leave a review for us  on iTunes:

Open Find the Magic in the podcast app  

Scroll to the bottom of the page

Click on write a review

Tap the stars to rate us and then write us some feedback:)

REVIEW OF THE WEEK:

Kimberly Br0ssi

I’ve enjoyed this podcast since 2019 and it helped me get through several hard moments. The mini magics are always awesome. All 3 hosts are so great and share how we can care of ourselves so we can better take care of others. Each are at different points in life and motherhood so there’s something for everyone. There are so many episodes that I re-listen to when I need the reminders!

Great for any woman, young or old, new mom or veteran. Thank you!
real and refreshing

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alwaysfelicia.substack.com/subscribe