Hi, Fam!

I get messages from parents all over the world (hundreds a day) asking how they can get their kids to play independently.

I hear things like:

• My kids won't play
• My kids are clingy
• We live in a small apartment
• My kids have very different play styles
• My kids fight with each other
• I'm a working parent, so it can't work for me

I'm here to tell you that those are just excuses! And to help you see that your kids are capable of independent play, I wanted to share some stories from a few of my "Present Players".

[01:14] No matter how out of control life may feel, there are always things we can control.

[06:10] Independent play is a skill that can be developed

[07:56] Independent play has incredible benefits for our children.

[08:55] You don't need to buy anything. You'll likely even get rid of some things.

[11:17] Hear how Elizabeth learned to prioritize play, and accommodate 2 very different styles of play for her children.

[12:46] "Strewing changed my life...It's like magic."

[15:34] She found that each of her kids have different play needs, and does what she can to encourage and protect that.

[16:18] Hear Galina's story about how she set up her zones in a tiny New York apartment.

[17:18] Overwhelmed in her small apartment with too many toys.

[18:48] Even though she has a small apartment, she has found a way to set up all of her play zones.

[21:07] "I wasn't sure if my child could play independently because he was clingy."

[23:59] Don't let excuses get in the way! If Galina can make it work, you can make it work too!

[25:11] Melissa didn't know how to organize life in the midst of chaos.

[26:01] You don't have to do everything at once

[26:10] Make sure the structure of the space makes sense for the intent of the space.

[26:31] Even in quarantine (with 6 people in a 3 bedroom house), she was able to set up a space for school work without affecting her existing play spaces.

[27:18] It eased the transition to homeschooling

[29:06] Hear Victoria's story, and how she's able to "parent from work" and direct her son's play, even when she can't be home with him.

[30:40] You can set up your home with small changes, using things you already own.

[31:18] Is it relevant for a 10 month old? Yes, and he's morphed into an independent play toddler.

[31:35] Has allowed her to set up her caretakers (and son) for success by strewing and designing his play areas.

Whether you have lots of space and access to the outdoors or you live in a small apartment with no outside space, you can design your home in a way that encourages independent play. Whether you're a full-time caretaker or work full-time, Present Play will help you set your kids up for [independent play] success.

If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I'd love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you.

Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.

Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital.

Resources:

• Join the "Love Parenting with Avital" Facebook group!
• Check out the Play Guru module for free before it closes!
• Join the challenge!

I know that these times have been tough for many, leaving some in a "survival mode." But others have found, in spite of the challenges and frustrations, that they're enjoying certain aspects of their time at home with their family.

And it may leave us wondering...do we really want life to go back to the way it was before? Or is it time to make some changes to the way we live our lives? Let's discuss.

[03:19] Let's choose to find the good in a bad situation.

[05:40] Amidst the hardship and trials, you might find yourself enjoying it.

[08:23] We may find things about our lives that we want to change going forward.

[14:26] What I learned living through terrorist attacks in Jerusalem.

[17:16] It's so easy to focus on only the bad things when you're in a crisis.

[17:46] There are always gifts to be had, even during tragedy and crisis.

[20:13] Challenges we face can give us perspective and remind us of what's truly important.

[20:59] We need to create the reality we want and lead our families.

Let's not let this opportunity go to waste. Let's assess our lives and start crafting the reality we WANT to live, and not just go back to life as it was before.

If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I'd love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you.

Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.

Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital.

Resources:

• Join the challenge!

At times in life (and for many, the present time), we'll face challenges and changes in our resources. To stay sane (or sometimes just survive), it's necessary to adjust your expectations to what's realistic given your circumstances.

[08:53] We can choose whether or not to be a victim.

[10:29] We have to match our level of expectations to the level of our resources.

[11:17] When you lose resources, there's a transition period where you may be edgy and frustrated. Give yourself grace!

[12:11] If you're measuring against old expectations, you'll feel like a failure. It's time to adjust your expectations.

[13:34] Resources can be time, money, etc., but we must also consider physical, mental, and emotional resources.

[14:43] Assess how your resources have changed.

[15:43] In areas where there's a depletion of resources, there MUST be a depletion of expectations.

[16:49] We must be adaptable, and flexible...even in our parenting styles.

[17:58] If you're feeling overwhelmed, just focus on the next thing.

[19:07] Celebrate every win, no matter how small.

It's liberating when your expectations are adjusted to reality. You can focus on what's next, give yourself some breathing room (and grace), and look for the good in the situation we've been handed.

If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I'd love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you.

Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.

Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital.

Resources:

• Join the challenge!

Renee Jain is back for another episode! With so many parents finding themselves homeschooling, we thought we should offer some practical tips to help parents through this challenging transition and help you (and your kids) stay sane!

[02:50] Cut yourself some slack. It's not realistic to think you'll be a homeschooling pro in a couple of weeks.

[03:05] Kids go through a "de-schooling" process; expect it to be rocky.

[05:41] Be realistic about the amount of time it takes to figure out a flow that works for your family.

[07:33] Some routine and rhythm is helpful. Try focusing on 3 "big rocks"

[12:11] What is our role in all of this?

[13:37] The highest priority is to preserve an energy for connection and family joy.

[15:31] Trying to recreate a school experience at home is a complete waste of energy and causes disconnection between us and our children.

[17:31] Let's not put academic pressure on our children during this time. They'll be able to make up for whatever was "lost".

[19:15] So what should they be doing? Play.

[19:56] This is an opportunity to show us just how capable our children are of entertaining themselves.

[22:54] Play is crucial for our children's development.

[24:24] Become a play guru!

[25:59] We can have certain rules around a few things, but for the most part, let your children be.

[27:43] We can help our children get into a state of "flow" in their play (which I call free play).

[29:44] When you're in "flow", you're not directed or rewarded by someone else. The activity is the reward.

[30:03] Don't interrupt their flow! Let them be.

[31:54] This also teaches them responsibility for using their time well.

[33:36] Experiment with strewing!

[35:52] Boredom is a choice. If they're bored, put it back on them. Help them in age appropriate ways, but let them figure it out.

[37:22] There's a difference between encouraging independent play and being disconnected.

[38:00] Give your full attention during care-giving activities, but otherwise, give them some space.

[41:14] Homeschooling doesn't require you to be constantly present all day long.

[45:50] Thinking you have to entertain your children all day long will lead to resentment.

[46:39] Hold the boundary and they'll adjust and get over it.

[48:22] Set limits to protect the relationship.

[49:33] How to stay organized when strewing.

[50:26] Don't take it personally if they aren't into a strew idea. Some will land, and some will not.

It'll take a little time to "de-school" and figure out a new normal. Focus on helping your children play and get into "flow" and don't worry about their academics. It may not happen overnight, but you'll see change quicker than you think.

If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I'd love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you.

Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.

Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital.

Resources:

• Play Guru Course (free for a limited time)

Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/59

As we face the COVID-19 Pandemic, there's a lot we can't control. It can cause major fear, anxiety, and worry...but it doesn't have to. This episode is from a live video I did where I shared 3 questions you can ask when you're facing a crisis, and I wanted to share it with you in hopes it will help you through these uncertain times.

[02:49] Question 1: Who do I want to be?

[06:53] It may not come naturally...you'll likely have to work to be the person you want to be.

[07:16] I try to imagine what my older and wiser self would say about the situation.

[09:48] You can be doing the right "whats", but the "how" will make a big difference in your experience.

[10:55] Question 2: How can I help? What can I [practically] do?

[13:22] Our kids are looking to us to learn how to handle crises.

[16:09] If you're not on the front lines, focus on what you can actually do. Spend your energy there.

[21:02] Question 3: Look for the blessings in your situation.

[26:59] Challenges make us stronger...if we let them.

We don't have control of this situation. And to a large extent we can't control how it develops and how it changes life as we know it. But we can control our perspective and how we respond. The choice is ours.

If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I'd love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to Instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on Instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you.

Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.

Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital.

Resources:

• Lawrence Cohen's book The Opposite Of Worry.

Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/58

Hi friend! Do your kids ever get angry or throw tantrums? Do YOU ever get triggered by their tantrums and lose it?

🙋🏻‍♀️I do. We all do.

In this episode you'll get to hear from the amazing Renee Jain of GoZen as we discuss how to "handle" emotions in both our children AND in ourselves.

[05:37] What is GoZen in a nutshell?

[09:20] We have to make peace with the idea that stress and difficulties are a part of our humanity.

[09:42] Feelings aren't good or bad. They're neutral.

[11:24] Create a character (a name) for each emotion (such as "Fury" for anger).

[14:30] Emotions come and go. They're not permanent.

[14:44] We need to have a relationship with the [seemingly negative] emotion and see the upsides.

[19:23] Anger/fury usually pops up for protection, or when boundaries have been crossed.

[22:10] Don't try to teach your children things "in the moment."

[22:48] We need to model what it looks like and stop trying to control our children's emotions.

[27:28] In those moments, try putting on your detective hat.

[31:24] Play is so important, even when they're throwing angry tantrums.

[32:51] Progress should be measured in years, not days.

[34:44] Practice or role play (outside of the moment) to teach them how they can respond differently when they're in the moment.

[41:21] It's a marathon, not a sprint.

[44:52] We can't be afraid of feelings and try to always suppress and control them.

[48:26] Get a stuffed animal for each of the 4 main emotions and use them for role play.

The work never really ends, but if we'll remember that progress is measured in years and not days, that it's a marathon and not a sprint, and implement some of the tips that Renee mentions, we'll start to see some lasting change in ourselves and in our children.

If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I'd love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you.

Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.

Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital.

Resources:

• Go Zen's Website
• Go Zen's Masterclass
• Dear Anxiety Podcast
• Episode Show Notes

So many of us want to improve our relationship with our partner. The love, romance, and fun we once had evaporated when kids came along, and we're left scratching our heads, wondering if we made a mistake or if we can ever get that back. I'm here to tell you that it's possible! And that it's normal to go through these seasons of challenges in a relationship.

In this episode I'm going to give you the blueprint from my Parent In Love course and give you some actionable steps you can take to make changes in your partnership, even if you don't sign up for my course.

[03:54] Why is it so hard to make your vision or dream for your relationship a reality?

[06:30] Why I talk about improving our relationships.

[12:26] It only takes one person to make significant changes in your relationship.

[13:34] Step 1: Mindset

[17:00] If you have any thoughts about leaving, that needs to be addressed first.

[18:18] Step 2: Communication

[23:52] Step 3: Teamwork

[30:13] Step 4: Vision

[31:56] Learn how our own childhood and past experiences influence our partnership and parenting.

[34:48] Make time for some deep conversations.

[35:34] Step 5: Connection

[40:45] Step 6: Leadership (how we parent together)

If we don't put some time and effort into changing ourselves, our partnership won't change. Sure, our partners have things to work on...but so do we. And if we work on ourselves and how we react and respond, we'll start to see changes in how our partner reacts and responds too. It only takes one person to make big changes in a partnership.

If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I'd love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you.

Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.

Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital.

Resources:

• Unleash Your Inner Power Couple Workshop
• 10 Zen Secrets Of Persuasion eBook
• Video about reconnecting with your partner
• Parent In Love Course

In this episode I'm going to give you a framework that you can use to create anything you want in your marriage, family, and life.

[02:52] You can create family bliss

[02:59] We want people to move from just consuming our content to creating.

[05:31] What do we mean by "create"?

[06:11] Commit

[09:39] Reframe

[12:03] Educate

[13:58] Action

[15:54] Trust

[17:22] Envision

It's a cycle...when you commit to making changes, reframe your circumstances, educate yourself, take action, trust the process, and envision what life could be, it fuels the process and creates more energy to continuously propels you through C.R.E.A.T.E process.

If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I'd love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you.

Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.

Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital.

Resources:

Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/55

Mindset is so important when it comes to growth, challenges, and the daily "grind." In this episode I want to share a mindset shift that we can use to reframe the work it takes to create great relationships. And it comes from a surprising source...Michelangelo.

[03:21] Our shortcomings can leave us feeling broken, overwhelmed, and frustrated.

[05:55] Sometimes we look to others to model what we should do, and over-work ourselves trying to fit someone else's mold.

[10:27] Move toward a model that feels more organic and whole.

[11:47] There's a "power couple" inside of you and your partner.

[13:49] We are "figures slumbering in the stone."

[14:34] Focus on chipping away at those things that don't serve us.

[16:53] You're the sculptor. No one else can do it for you.

[18:16] It's more helpful to focus on what you need to take away vs. what you need to add.

[22:10] Chip away at our "low vibe mindsets."

[23:52] Chip away at our toxic patterns and behaviors.

[25:25] Chip away at our misaligned choices

When we start to chip away at these areas, we start to reveal our inner power couple. You'll find that if you focus more on removing what doesn't serve you, your relationships will transform and you'll see real, lasting change.

If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I'd love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you.

Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.

Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital.

Resources:

• Get my new [free] eBook, The Ten Zen Secrets Of Persuasion.

Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/54

When it comes to your relationship with your partner, do you ever feel like you're just managing? Like you're just roommates? You may even feel downright miserable.

If you've ever experienced disappointment, frustration, unmet expectations, loss of passion, mediocrity, or misery, you're not alone! Many people have experienced this, including myself.

In this episode we'll discuss how ignorance and the desire to maintain the status quo may be holding you back from your dream relationship.

[05:17] Why I talk about partnering & relationships.

[06:07] Is ignorance really bliss?

[08:36] Staying ignorant keeps us stuck in place, stuck in the status quo, and holds us back from our hopes and dreams.

[12:34] Ending the relationship is not your only option.

[14:15] Feeling like there's something missing and wanting more isn't wrong and doesn't mean you're broken.

[17:52] You can't force someone else to change. The answer is to roll up our sleeves, get to work, and create the bliss we desire.

[21:45] Either way you're expending energy...you might as well put it into activities that will improve your relationship!

Redirect the energy you're putting into staying unhappy to things that will move you forward. You'll soon notice a difference and will build momentum in the right direction.

If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I'd love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @parentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you.

Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.

Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital.

Resources:

• My new eBook, The Ten Zen Secrets Of Persuasion.
• Live Webinar Feb 3 (or catch the replay)

Show Notes: https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/53