The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast

High Level Narcississts Watch Out for Number One - Themselves

03.03.2022 - By Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D., LMFTPlay

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High level narcissists are pleasure seeking plotters and planners. They map out their future goals and conquests like commanding generals. I remember a story about one of these individuals. He had just moved into a new residential area. He made sure that the neighborhood fit the socioeconomic level of his high ambitions. He mapped out in detail his plans to rise to professional power and huge financial success within a specific period of time. As he told the story and described his strategy with manyy details it was well analyzed. He proceeded with his master plan and succeeded. He ended up leaving his wife and children for a new "adventure" both professional and personal. Here wsa an opportunity that he created to push him even further up the summits of ever greater success. High levels do not look back at their dreadful personal and professional misdeeds. Rather they move up to higher ranges of raw ambition, material acquisition and control.  These highly ambitious high level narcissists know exactly what social cliques to join, how they will charm and prsuade ther "right people" to allow them into the inner power circle, that golden space where all the big deals are made. They go after partners who burnish their image, make them look very special: clever, bright, talented, magnetic, connected! They exploit the creative and intellectual gifts of their partners and spouses.  High levels treat others like chessboard pieces, moving and shifting each person into a position that will maximize their power positions. The high level narcissist didn't develop  a well formed conscience rather these ruthless types know just how far to go with their excessive ambitions but not far enough to get caught.  Being in a "relationship" with a high level narcissist is a constant game; you never know where you stand with them. One moment they are saying you are indispensable; the next they complain that you are an albotross, a hindrance to their career and no longer a source of enjoyment. Spending years even decades with these demanding, over-entitled partners is exhausting, keeping you in the sympathetic nervous system zone, fight or flight.  You come to time of insight into the true nature of the high level narcissistic spouse. You finally recognize you are entitled to move forward along the pathways of the evolution of the authentic, self. Give yourself tremendous credit for the self care practices that you deserve. Celebrate your individuality and creativity.   

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