Sometimes, God wants to use counseling to help us heal.

Sometimes, it’s the Bible.

Sometimes, it’s the powerful word from a dear friend.

Sometimes, it’s prayer.

Sometimes (oftentimes?), it’s all of the above.

When Michelle Kyle and I (Laurie) met together for coaching, she said she felt “stuck.” I didn’t know if I could help her get unstuck, but using a prayer technique I have been engaging for 15 years, I thought I would give it a try. 

• What did we do? 

Join us for this powerful and practical conversation on listening prayer and we will dive into these answers and more.

“You [Laurie] had asked me, ‘Do you want to invite Jesus into that space?’ And I said, ‘Well, He’s actually already there.’” -Michelle Kyle

• Want to learn more about listening prayer? Check out Matt’s episode about it here.

This is another episode we would pay you to listen to if we could. 

Do you approach your friendships, your work, or the pain in your life more as the orphan, the stranger, or the widow? 

Don’t know what that means? We didn’t either until we read “Redeeming Heartache” and then talked with the brilliant psychologist, Dr. Dan Allender, and to our new wise friend, author and therapist Cathy Loerzel. Dan and Cathy helped us understand each of these approaches to the world, and invited us to live redeemed as a priest, prophet, or king and queen.  

Together we explore:

• What if I don’t think I’ve ever had trauma? Do I still need to do heart work?

Join us?

“To be able to rest and receive delight and have gratitude, you need to be able to be open to what other people can offer you.... So if you’re never in that place of being able to receive that with an open, trusting heart, then you’re always…coiled up and ready for the place that you’re gonna be harmed next. So it keeps you from being able to receive surprise and delight and play because you’re always, always, always looking around the corner.” -Cathy Loerzel

“The reality is we all bear some of the effects of the Fall, and that’s what we’re calling trauma.” -Dan Allender “You can’t heal the present without going back to the past.” --Cathy Loerzel

// Do the Next Thing:

• Want more of these two? Go read their book, Redeeming Heartache!

Without unnecessary clutching of our metaphorical pearls, when we look around, it does seem like there is something going on spiritually when it comes to an attack on the human body.

What’s going on?

Pastor and author Sam Allberry, a friend of the show and author of the new book “What God Has to Say about Our Bodies: How the Gospel Is Good News for Our Physical Selves” helps us answer this question and more. Together, we explore: 

• Why is our body an integral part of our true selves?

We’d love to have you sit your embodied self down at the podcast table and join us for this needed conversation.

// Highlights:

“The very yearning itself is a reflection that we’re made in God’s Image…. We sense there should be more than there is, that there should be a sense of wholeness and of satisfaction and completion that seems to elude us…. But the fact that we’re foreign means that our understanding of that is incomplete and our ways forward with that feeling are very twisted and skewed as well.” -Sam Allberry

// Do the Next Thing:

• Want more of Sam Allberry? Start here, with his book!

Desires: We all have ‘em.

And sometimes they really get in our way.

What are we supposed to do about this? Does Jesus care about our desires? Does He value them?

As our good friend Curt Thompson points out, Jesus first question in the gospel of John is, “What do you want?”

Clearly, our desires matter to God.

How and why? Listen with us to find out.

// Highlights: “Jesus’ assumption is that what I want is a really, really big deal.” -Curt Thompson “[When I am wounded] I don’t desire, I devour.” -Curt Thompson

“…[S]till Jesus says, ‘What is it that you want?’ And I’m like, ‘What else is there to want? I’ve run out of all the options that I’ve made, that I’ve created.’ And this is when He comes with Himself and undoes us. Because—what I really want? I wanna be loved, I wanna be seen, I wanna be known, I wanna be wanted. And even though it terrifies me, I even want to be wanted by [Jesus], including the parts of me that I hate the most. And Jesus is saying, ‘I’m all in. And the parts of you that you hate the most? I’m not afraid of that, and you can’t make me leave the room.’” -Curt Thompson

// Do the Next Thing:

Want more of Curt? We have loads! (We’re big fans of him around here.)

For the basics, check out his website, including his NEW BOOK, The Soul of Desire!

To hear more from Curt on our podcast, check out these other episodes!

• Episode 64: Exploring Our Souls of Shame, pt. 1

Are you looking for a community with whom to explore more of the issues discussed on the podcast? Join the Heart of the Matter on Facebook!

Looking for a great translation of the Bible? The CSB translation is a sponsor of the HIMH podcast! Learn more about our new favorite Bible at csbible.com.

How many people do you know who currently feel slightly-to-very discouraged about their faith?

Do you have a sense that the Bible could be a great help, but you don’t want to come across as legalistic or dismissive of their struggles?

How do you walk alongside your friends? (Or, how do you walk alongside yourself if you’re struggling with cracking the Bible?)

Author, podcaster, and Bible teacher Tara Leigh Cobble is here to help. Together, we explore:

• How does the Bible relate to our identity?

Join us?

// Highlights:

“I was reading Scripture with the lens to understand how do I get what I want from God, first of all?…And I was also looking [for] how can I please Him? Because, frankly, if I please Him, if I do what He wants, then He’s gonna do what I want….And my pastor friend said, ‘You’re reading it backwards. You’re reading it as thought it’s a mirror, and it’s not. It’s a lens to behold the living God.’” -Tara Leigh Cobble

// Do the Next Thing:

Are you looking for Bible study resources? Head over to BibleRecap.com.

Want more of Tara Leigh? Check out her website here!

Also—we are in love with this study from Tara Leigh! Go get it!

In this episode, we mention the coaching options with Laurie, but her schedule is currently full. If you are interested in learning more, email [email protected].

The CSB translation is a sponsor of the HIMH podcast. Learn more about our new favorite Bible at csbible.com!

“I’ve thought, ‘I don't know if I can do this, I don't know if I'm good enough or talented enough or whatever,’ but never had I thought [before that moment], ‘I don't know if I want to,’ because I really knew the price of going forward.”

—Christine Caine

The first time we had this conversation with anti-human trafficking activist and internationally sought-after speaker and author Christine Caine, it was life-giving to all of us.

The second time we listened, it felt doubly hope-infusing because of where we are at in our journeys now…

Anyone else feeling the global slump of discouragement and despair? Has anyone else wondered, “Why am I doing this?” Or “How did I get here?”

Christine came and did not cheerlead us out of it, rather she empathized and encouraged from her own two-year journey with a dark night of the soul…

We’d love to have you join this powerful conversation.

// Highlight:

“I've thought, ‘I don't know if I can do this, I don't know if I'm good enough or talented enough or whatever,’ but never have I thought, ‘I don't know if I want to,’ because I really knew the price of going forward … But then I turn to [my husband] and I said, ‘But Jesus would know. Jesus know that I didn't press on … Jesus would know that I coasted my way into eternity—if I didn't press on and keep running my race.”—Christine Caine

// Do the Next Thing:

Find Christine’s book and all the things here

Learn more about the Propel-Wheaton Cohort here

The CSB translation is a sponsor of the HIMH podcast. Learn more about our new favorite Bible here

Join our Facebook group to connect with other listeners!

Real talk:

When we think about raising our little kids in a porn-saturated world, we want to raze the whole broken system to the ground. That we even have to have this conversation plain ol’ stinks. (Darn you, Fall of Man!) 

Then, we start to brainstorm:

• How long can I keep porn away from our kids? (Forever?)

As first-generation parents, youth leaders, and aunts and uncles of kids with cell phones (ie. porn in our kids’ pockets), we can feel overwhelmed by how to engage the porn conversation. But … annoyingly … we have to.  Can someone please help us?

Ministry leaders and researchers Josh Glaser and Daniel Weiss are here with the assist, and the conversation we had was helpful and hopeful.

Join us?

// Highlights:

“In one study, 75 percent of parents felt their kids hadn’t seen pornography, but 50 percent of those kids in that group admitted they had looked at it. So, that means half of those parents were unaware that their kids were looking at pornography.”

“It’s a natural human response…that when we’re found out in our sin, we like to run and we like to hide. It’s a protective mechanism. And so, instead of inviting our kids to lie to us or to evade the truth, we just let them know what we know.”

“It’s not whether or not my kid would look at pornography—that’s the wrong question. The right question is: ’Is pornography the content or kind or material that will respect my family’s boundaries or my family’s values?’ It’s not. Pornography is seeking to be found. You can be frustrated … angry … but, that’s why it’s so important to be intentional and proactive [to not only] talk about the dangers out there, but more importantly, [to talk about] the beauty of what this was all made for—God’s design. Give them the positive, the beautiful first so that everything else seems to be the counterfeit, not the other way around.”

// Do the Next Thing:

For more on this topic, check out Jay Stringer’s book Unwanted.

You can also listen to this interview we did with Dan Allender, who addresses the connection between shame and sexuality.

Join our Facebook group to connect with other listeners! 

So...shame.

It's talked about quite frequently and often with rightful animosity, but have you ever considered there might be some good types of shame?

Buckle your seatbelt as we engage the three types of shame and why they are so important--not just when engaging the LGBT+ conversation, but anyone's life.

Matt, Laurie, and Steve also dive into how the rest of SEASON FIVE will look, and why they are choosing to follow Jesus--even now in often-brutal 2021.

Toxic Shame:

• Whole body self-hate "Who I am is worthless."

Guilt:

• "What I did was not worth it."

Godly Shame: 

• Helps us to feel the weight of our sin so we don't repeat it

// Highlight:

“The antidote to shame is being seen in our mess and loved in our mess….[Confession] can be this joyful thing, it doesn’t have to be this—it shouldn’t be—this ‘You’re worthless’ thing!….We don’t have to—just because we’ve been tempted toward something or even if we’ve sinned—we don’t have to hate ourselves, guys! We can confess and be free!”

// Do the Next Thing:

Our book, An Impossible Marriage, talks often about these three types of shame and how they manifest. Check it out here!

And for more on shame, check out this resource by the expert, Curt Thompson: The Soul of Desire.

For those of you who are married and maybe feeling stuck, here’s an extra resource as well! “14 Days to Unstick Your Marriage.”

Want to be more involved with the podcast? Check out our Facebook group!

Engaging conversations on race or sexuality is a hard, holy task.

As Christians, we don’t always do it well, even if our hearts are in the right place.

• Are these conversations the same?

Stephanie Thole entered into this conversation with extraordinary grace and kindness, and we are thrilled to listen in again.

//: Highlights

• “We were one of the few black families. I remember always being so attracted to all of these white boys. In my mind, I was like, ‘I gotta get rid of this…’ I understood at a very early age that that was not allowed.” —Stephanie Thole

//: Do the Next Thing

• For more on this conversation, check out our friends Daniel Hill and Rebecca McLaughlin! They lend their voices well to these issues.

• The Secular Creed by Rebecca McLaughlin.

Sometimes, we need the cold water bucket of siblinghood thrown over our heads and our questions.

• What happens when we feel attraction toward our friends?

Rachel Gilson shares her story and the beauty of being family in Christ in really helpful ways. We’re thrilled to revisit this conversation with her.

Listen in with us.

//:Highlights

• “We kind of intuitively sense that a sibling relationship is a special kind of relationship: It has both really deep intimacy but is absolutely not erotic.” –Rachel Gilson

//: Do the Next Thing

• For more from Rachel Gilson, check out her book, Born Again This Way.