Sarah and Nippy watched Holy Hell closely when they were exiting NXIVM back in 2016. It hit close to home: The documentary is an intimate look at the implosion of Buddhafield, a mysterious self-help cult formed by a charismatic character with an iffy backstory. In this episode, Sarah and Nippy welcome the film’s director Will Allen to talk about what it was like to shine a light on Jaime Gomez, the so-called spiritual guru at the twisted heart of the group. Will didn’t just film it all: he lived it. After joining Buddhafield as a freshly-minted film school grad, it consumed his world for twenty odd years with life-altering consequences. He was looking for a sense of community and purpose, but after the love bombing phase it was far from the blissed-out communal dream it was cracked up to be.

Five years after the film’s release, Will chats with Sarah and Nippy about how he’s doing now; his journey from unofficial in-house cult documentarian to whistleblower; and what it takes to disrupt patterns of abuse and coercive control in new agey circles. And be warned, dear listener, that this conversation delves into the same potentially triggering content that gave rise to Holy Hell’s apt title. As told in the film via multiple victims’ accounts, Gomez used weekly hypnotherapy sessions to sexually abuse and exploit young male devotees, Will among them. Please listen safely, and seek help if you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted. 

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The views and opinions expressed on A Little Bit Culty do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything. Nobody’s mad at you, just don’t be a culty fuckwad.

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Producers: Will Retherford & Jess Tardy

Theme Song: “Cultivated” by Jon Bryant co-written with Nygel Asselin

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