J&J are back with another Sunday Special, and this week they’re joined by Emily Nagoski, sex researcher, educator, and author of Come As You Are. They start with a discussion about spontaneous vs. responsive desire, and Emily explains why she believes we need to center pleasure in your sex life instead of desire. Then, they answer an email from a listener who says she can’t have an orgasm and feels like she can’t ask for things in the bedroom because she won’t come anyway. Emily breaks down all the stories the emailer is telling herself and advises her on how to have a conversation with her boyfriend about it. Plus, they talk about how the cultural scripts we’re given based on gender are getting in the way of our sex lives.

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