September 27, 2022

How Internal Family Systems Can Help Increase Self Empathy, Compassion & Understanding- Greg Fuqua

1 hour 4 minutes

Greg Fuqua came into the counseling profession a few years ago after spending more then 20 years working as a professional artist and teaching at 10 different schools. He is an AANE certified therapist and has been on his own neurodiverse journey for the past few years. During this episode, Greg shares how Internal Family Systems has made a difference in his life and how he uses it to help guide others on their healing journey. Greg also talks about:

His autism discovery and his relationship with himself and how he has reworked his narrative and life.

Some of the challenges he experienced in his marriage and how his wife knew he was autistic, but didn't tell him as she thought it was his journey to discover.

How he had less capacity for perspective taking and empathy because he was stressed out and needed things a certain way.

That the most important thing is your relationship with yourself and how his "self-identification" led to self-empathy.

Letting go of rigidity allowed him to have more space for his emotions.

How his group and family therapist have been resistant to his autism identification.

That you can't change the past, but you can work on growing and improving the way you show up in your relationships with your partner, children and family.

How art and soccer helped him find himself.

The impact of relational trauma prior to identifying as autistic.

That IFS is a relational model for working with yourself and your history and it is the most important tool he has for his autistic clients, as it helps teach relational skills with yourself and others.

That IFS has also helped him create a dialogue and deeper understanding of himself. Including "radical acceptance" of the good intention of his "parts".

Teaching people how important it is to know their bodies and understand when they feel differently and are being "triggered" and their "protective parts" are taking over.

Autistic people being overprotective because of difficulty they may have had fitting in and not being able to read social cues.

Understanding how to give your "parts" enough "space" to be a compassionate witness and learn what is happening inside, and how this can also be applied to other relationships.

Once you have self-empathy, you can have empathy for others. Perspective taking, availability, self-awareness and flexibility can start happening.

How symbolism, metaphors, art, fantastical and spiritual thinking can be helpful.

Neurodiverse couples can begin to reimagine their relationships and create a window of understanding for each other's internal experiences. Creating more compassion, curiosity, and depth of understanding for each other's differences.

Neurodiverse relationships require constant renegotiation with yourself, your romantic partner, and your family.

You can contact Greg at: www.lifeworksdm.com or through his profile on Psychology Today.

If you are interested in becoming an AANE certified therapist or coach, you can register at: aane.thinkific.com-Use code NeurodiverseLove25 for a 25% discount.

If you liked this episode, please subscribe to the podcast so that you don't miss an episode. If you would like to learn more about neurodiverse relationships, please check out: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love.

If you are interested in joining one of the free on-line peer support groups being offered for the non-autistic/NT partners, please send Mona a DM or send an e-mail to [email protected]. Mona is also offering support groups for Neurodiverse Couples. Please send an email to get info on cost & meeting dates.

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!

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By Neurodiverse Love with Mona Kay

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