How To Be Awesome At Everything

Lindsay says…

"Out of allllll the podcast episodes I've recorded… this is probably the one that would have saved me the most conflict in my life."

Here's what we're talking about- you know when you're on FIRE about something? Usually about something that someone did or didn't do, and you are coming in HOT, you do not care… you are holding nothing back… basically you're losing your shit.

And often times, rightfully so!! I'm not saying you're wrong for FEELING this way, we're just questioning, is this realllllly how you want to approach it or react to it?

Lindsay says...

"I've become SO MUCH CALMER in the last few years- and I still have lots of opinions and I'm a strong woman… I just don't let the little things bother me anymore and when I feel myself boiling up and about to completely lose it… I tell myself 3 words. Just like this…

Control your crazy.

And it's just my way of telling myself…. You're about to explode… and even if the person deserves that… is that the person you really want to be right now?

And I step back, and I take a beat. And it's a GAME CHANGER. You can avoid so many arguments and also it's a way for me to recalibrate when I'm off personally and about to take my issues out on somebody else.

It's so simple it's brilliant. And it makes your life so. much. easier. When you are able to control your crazy."

Here are some of the tips Lindsay talks about:

-Stop- don't send the text or walk out of the room

-Think- who do I want to be right now? That sucked but I don't have to

-You know how you can be in the right but end up in the wrong because you lose your shit? Ya, let's avoid that.

-How she has failed at this in the past

Things to ask yourself?

-Does this affect me to my core?

-Will I remember this and care in a week or a month?

-Realize what you are upset about might not have anything to do with you. This is so often the case. Many times we think people are doing things because of us or to us and they aren't. The driver may not have even seen you. Your teenager may lie just because he doesn't want to be embarrassed.

-Realize YOU might be in a funky place and trying to put your issues on someone else or taking things out on them.

-And the answer isn't always easy. Maybe a friend has done something so awful you are thinking about having a friend divorce. And that's ok, but you don't have to explode to get there.

There is so much POWER in controlling your crazy. We hope this podcast brings you lots of value and you come back to it when you're feeling like you want to explode! Just remember… even if it's totally valid… you're always happier later when you control your crazy.

CHEERS TO THAT!!

How to be super fun, even though you're also super responsible and have lots of things to take care of on the daily. Today, Lindsay's friend Karli is coming on the podcast to chat about how to keep your relationship fun and to make it a priority even if you're exhausted or on a tight budget or annoyed by your partner… It is no easy task to switch from taking care of kids and trying to rock through your to-do list, and then move into the fun and carefree partner that just loves to laugh and relax. It's not always easy and it doesn't always come naturally… but it's SO IMPORTANT. Karli is awesome at this! Her and her husband have the most hilarious dynamics and they are so loving and hands on with their kids… but they also make sure they get in date nights- sometimes just the two of them and sometimes with friends- and also trips the same way. Lindsay is so excited and found the perfect friend to to tackle this topic with her… so here we go! How To Be Awesome At Keeping Marriage Fun! Here are the questions Lindsay asks Karli! PLANNING -Is it all calculated? How far out do you schedule? -Where do you find ideas for fun dates? -Date night ideas other than dinner? -Out of the ordinary but budget friendly dating ideas - to date your spouse -How to balance both of your ideas of fun? I like a million activities, he likes one! -How to keep it fresh with a newborn on a tight budget? CONNECTING -What do you talk about when you've run out of things to talk about? -How to separate kid life and to do lists and your relationship HOW TO BE RESPONSIBLE & STILL FUN -Tips on how to compartmentalize to switch into fun mode -How not to be a stick in the mud. I worry about the kids safety and become a Debbie Downer. How do you manage that? FEELING SEXY -How it keep it fresh and sexy when you have been married forever and he is annoying you -"I'm often too tired, but I know it's important to have sex often. How to keep it fun?" BABIES & SITTERS -How to do this best with babies and toddlers where time isn't that easy -How do you find people to watch the kids when you dont have family? IN-LAWS -Do your in-laws ever impact your marriage in a negative way? How to navigate that… -How to manage expectations from in-laws when they expect access to your free/travel time DAILY STUFF & EVERYTHING ELSE -Daily things you can do! -What to do when my partner says I put kids first -Keeping the spark alive! We are exhausted with work and 3 kids. -How did your relationship change after having kids? -Tips for when you're SO TIRED! As we know, babies grow up to be big kids and big kids grow up to be young adults. Prioritizing your romantic relationship through the years is so important. Hope this episode helps you think about the best way to do this in your relationship. CHEERS TO KEEPING MARRIAGE FUN!!

Welcome back to the How To Be Awesome At Everything Podcast! In this episode is our very first guest in our summer series- Lindsay's friend Jenny. She literally radiates happiness. Like all of us, Jenny has real life sadness and struggles that happen but she manages it so incredibly, Lindsay is getting into her mindset behind it. How do you stay happy and in a positive headspace when life is complicated or people suck or you're dealing with sadness? How do you stay happy when your kids are wild or not listening or your husband is complaining or you are dealing with conflict or with someone who isn't reciprocating your kindness? Even when faced with conflict or tough situations, Jenny is always in a good mindset. And her positivity is contagious. You can't not smile and be happy when you're around her because her happiness is so genuine and deep, it radiates. So, she's the PERFECT PERSON for today's podcast all about BEING HAPPY! Please welcome… Jenny Pelton. Here are the questions that Lindsay asks Jenny! -DAILY LIFE How did you come to have the "be happy" mantra? How do you stay positive when the weight of cooking and cleaning and kids seems like so much? -OFF DAYS Is there anything you do when you are off and not super positive or happy to get in a better state of mind? Im very aware of other peoples energy - Do you ever have days when you sort of stay to yourself and regroup? -LIFE HARDSHIPS Just a reminder that we all have life struggles and sadness… even if all of that is not shared publicly. Do you have any tips for staying positive and happy, even when dealing with sad life moments that you've learned through the years? -NEGATIVE PEOPLE Question from IG: How do you deal when your kindness is not reciprocated? You are SO NICE- but you're not that sort of nice to where you get pushed around. You're strong and direct- but in the absolutely NICEST way possible. How do you balance this? Any tips for dealing with conflict and coming out in a good headspace? And how do you not let it phase you? -HAVING FULLLLLL, HAPPY DAYS How do you have happy and full days with the kids but also get your emails done and the house picked up and everyone fed? You get it ALL DONE, and have great LIFE experiences everyday … and you are present and not stressed during it. Sometimes when I'm doing things I love with my kids… I'm not really actually IN IT because I have stuff to do at the same time… how do you get it done and have so many experiences too- and are fully present and happy during them?? CHEERS!!! TO BEING HAPPY!!!

Today we are talking PARTY THEMES! Lindsay is sharing what she thinks is the best way to go about brainstorming and choosing a party theme… and of course we are talking about ALL SORTS of themes - some traditional and some totally creative and unexpected. Even for the most causal or smallest parties, a theme is the best way to give your event a feeling and a vibe… and it makes it so much fun to plan. And one of our main goals in party planning is to make sure you are doing it in a way that allows you to enjoy (not dread) the process. We're talking about picking a theme that is perfect for you or the birthday boy or girl… at this age and stage… we're covering adult parties and kid parties, birthdays and holidays. Every party is better with a theme… so that's what we're doing today! The goal: Pick a theme that just feels RIGHT for this moment - this age and stage. How far out: Far enough to plan, but not too far that it would change Essential: Make sure you will love the process - that's key! With the theme you choose! The process: Brain dump of the themes! SO many theme ideas! Colors/dress-up White party (or any color) Neon Party People in uniform Merry Birthday 50's, 60's, 70's, 80's, 90's Back to prom Toga Heros & Villains Wild West/ Country Zoo party Semi- Traditional kids All the kids ones - Princess party, superheros, lego, pirates and princesses, Disney characters, a particular kid movie like Toy Story, Frozen, Aladdin, etc. Mermaid party/ Under the sea, glow in the dark, unicorn Slumber party with tents, spa party, outdoor movie party, glamping Non-traditional Cloud 9 party Flamingo Luau Arabian Nights Tea Party Apres Ski theme Food festival Summer Camp Themes that work for any age! Fiesta Luau Beach party Pool party Rainbow For non-birthday parties School years eve party- before school starts - like NYE Oscar party Fun for adults Masks & mimosas Murder mystery Beer/champagne/sake tasting You can make any theme- even the most traditional - super authentic and perfect for your occasion. Pick colors that are a bit different from what you would normally see with this theme and think outside the box! Check out all the themed party pictures on our website at: www.HowToBeAwesomeAtEverything.com HAPPY PARTY PLANNING!!

Realizing the importance of self love is so important.

In this episode, Lindsay is sharing the most impactful concepts around self-love from her two favorite experts on the topic- Brene Brown and Oprah Winfrey.

We sometimes group self love with self confidence and while both important, they are also very different. And just because you have self confidence doesn't always mean you have that real, deep self love.

The self love that we are talking about is waking up each day feeling worthy and knowing you are enough.

It doesn't matter if you've recently made a mistake, or you don't look exactly how you wish you looked… you are enough, exactly as you are in this moment.

Today's podcast is all about the most important relationship you will ever have in your life… the one with yourself.

We're talking about self-love and self-confidence and how it evolves as we get older. Why taking risks and being vulnerable is so important and why how we speak to ourselves is everything.

Here's how Lindsay looks at it…

Let's use our self-confidence as our power and our fearlessness and our inspiration to others…

And let's use our self-love as our protection, your best friend, your GPS…

Combining these together and you really have the

BRENE BROWN thoughts:

Brene Brown talks about "enoughness." I am enough- what I am doing is enough.

Courage means share your whole story with your whole heart.

Brene asks…

What is our struggle with believing we are enough?

The feeling that we have to be perfect…

No matter how much is done… I am enough … and I'm worthy of love and joy.

Engage with the world in a place of worthiness.

You just have to be willing to be vulnerable.

The number one casualty is of a scarcity culture? Vulnerability

We shut down - we are scared.

I'm not going to show you that I don't have it all together.

This is the birthplace of everything we are hungry for.

There is no innovation or creativity without failure.

Let go of your armor

How is not talking about this serving you?

It's no longer protecting you - it's not allowing you to be seen and heard from others.

This is your mid-life slow brutal unraveling - this is where we thought everything that we thought protects us, prevents us from being the person that we want to be.

How do you talk to yourself? When you're down on yourself…

How would you talk to your kids? Would you tell them you hate their body or they are so stupid?

Shame cannot survive being spoken

Being authentic is so important - saying what you really think. Not worrying what people think and

OPRAH WINFREY thoughts:

There are no mistakes - there are no wrong paths. Failure is just that "thing" trying to move you in another direction. The losses are to help you learn and push you in the right direction. You dont allow yourself to be thrown by a circumstance because your life is bigger than one experience.

What would you tell your younger self?

Relax, it will be ok.

Even if you are at a detour right now. That's the cue that you need to go in another direction.

Take responsibility for your life - you have to be responsible for making it happen.

You are responsible for your life. If you are sittng around waiting for someone to help you, fix your or save you.. you are wasting your time. Only you are able to move your life forward.

It does not matter where you come from. It doesn't matter what your parents did or didn't do- what matters is your willingness to see this moment for what it is - accept it, take responsibility and move forward.

The way through the challenge - get still and ask yourself - what is the next right move? And the next right move? And not to be overwhelmed by it because you know life is bigger than this moment.

OVERALL thoughts:

You aren't going to be kind to strangers on the team if you don't really love ourself

You aren't going to have positive energy if you don't really love our insides

Self love- take time for yourself - your mind and your body

Do hard things daily - that's how you build self respect

When you get up at 5am and increase your productivity - you grow your self respect

If each day, you do difficult things- and keep optimizing your ways- you build greater self respect

And you FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF

You consistency make and then keep self promises - that's how you build self love.

Be alone sometimes - stop the constant stimulation - to recalibrate and center - we spend so much time in the frenzy- we can forget what we really love. We need to retreat sometimes. There is so much busy being busy - we must make the time to "go to the woods" and practice stillness. You remember who you truly are. You remember your priorities.

You will never rise any higher than the amount that you see yourself on the inside.

If you don't really feel like you deserve it- you don't feel like you're enough… you will reach a point where your mindset reaches a conflict…

Self sabotage comes from self love

You have to ignore this culture of comparison!!

Self love is such a big and important topic. And one that I think is worth focusing on. CHEERS TO THAT!

Two hacks to maximize your day right here!! First, move like you have somewhere to be… even if you don't. Second, eat the frog- do the hardest, or most annoying, or thing you actually want to procrastinate on- first.

Simple but GOLD when it comes to getting the most out of your days.

In this episode, Lindsay breaks down these two awesome day maximizing hacks!

-Fill your day with things you like to do - get in your 10s!

-Do what gives you energy. Stop doing what makes you tired.

-Maybe you aren't tired- maybe you just aren't excited about what you're doing.

-For things you must do - like pay bills etc, automate and delegate.

-Start the day by getting up and moving your body- no email or social- happy body and happy mind

-Carve out time for YOU- whatever that is

-EAT THE FROG! Decide what it is the night before. Layout steps if it has it. Biggest or most important task or the one that will move the needle on something.. or save you money or a headache later… it's usually the thing we put last and don't get to.

Do that first.

-HOW YOU MOVE! You know how you shower if you have somewhere to be? Not like you're panicked and late- just like you move because you have somewhere to be at a certain time. Train yourself to move this way even when you're not on a time schedule.

CHEERS to maximizing your day!!!

When it comes time to celebrate YOU, whether it's your birthday or Mother's Day or any other special time … nobody knows what you want more than YOU!

A lot of times it's easy to get caught up in the thought that other people need to do it for us. And we're not saying that's not great and you don't deserve that, Lindsay's just putting it out there that you can actually plan your own celebration and still feel super loved and special. It's empowering and it sets you up to feel fulfilled and not feel let down.

Often times we know what we want but we want other people to do it for us… or we don't want to have to have one more thing to do so we want other people to do it for us… but I'm telling you… planning your own celebration is awesome and we're going to figure out how you want to do it so it doesn't take any of the magic out of it.

It's just going to make it easy on you and easy on the people you love and you'll have that moment you want.

A few ideas Lindsay talks about:

-Do it all yourself

-Do some of it yourself and tell other people some parts to help with (if they are asking)

-Don't put more than what's reasonable on other people (time or money)

-If someone wants to do it all, tell them- this is what I for sure want and this is what I for sure don't want.

-Often times we think people should know us enough to know what we want. But it just doesn't always work that way. Sometimes we need to spell it out.

-Plan it yourself! Brain dump- what do you love? What do you feel like? What would you wake up so excited to do? PLAN YOUR DAY! GET CREATIVE!

-What would your crew actually enjoy but usually say no to? (Think photo shoots and parasailing)

-Who to invite can be tricky- think of others and be upfront if you are limiting your group - do what makes you happy. In the end, people will understand and get it. You can't always invite everyone.

-Walk yourself through the day or dinner or experience… think of details ahead of time for anything you want to prep for our your outfits etc.

-Overall most important is to be straightforward. "This is exactly what I want and I'm going to do it all"… or "this would mean a lot to me I would love if you would set this up like this.. "

-Don't hold it over people's heads- just make it what you want!

-Set yourself up for happiness, not disappointment.

Life is meant to be CELEBRATED!! Let's make our celebrations special and exactly how we want them to be!

Our whole lives are guided by the state we are in.

It's how we react to things that happen to us and it determines the decisions that we make.

Learning how to change your state, not fake, but to go from pissed off or frustrated and get back in your center is the greatest skillset.

Lindsay says… "I've decided… I'm going to live in an awesome state and when I'm not in an awesome state of mind… I hit pause and work on fixing it."

Moment to moment our life is controlled by our state. If you are angry you are doing to respond differently than if you are feeling fulfilled and encouraged and loved.

So today, we're talking about just how important your frame of mind is- the attitude you have as you venture out into the world or talk to people or do things. It affects the outcome of your day and how you rub off on other people and eventually the course of your life.

This doesn't mean you won't feel bad. You just won't let yourself sit there. It means you are committed to working yourself out of it, so you can live in a happy state.

Here are some points Lindsay touches on:

-To move out of that into happy and creative is everything. It's a critical skillset and what we are talking about today.

-In the long term, your world view is what determines your state.

What are the targets you are after? Everyone has different goals and desires.

-Tony Robbins says…

We all have the same needs… there are mostly the same problems.

Certainty- comfort and safety

Uncertainty - we need variety

Significance- to feel special

Love- feel loved

Growth

Contribution

-We all determine how much of each of these we need and which of these needs are the top 2 on your list- -because that determines your life.

-Lots of people put significance first - where it's more important than love living in a social media world.

Certainly - lots of people just want certainty- everyone has to stay the same and not grow.

-Tony says- what's driving you? Two people can be driven with significance and do it very differently.

-It's an art to feel fulfilled. We are all different and it's different for all of us.

-Our lives are determined by our decisions. And our state affects the decisions we make. The decisions we make control us- decisions what to do, what to give.

-Pain is another thing!

Suffering takes you out of a beautiful state. By focusing on something else. You can get out of it in an instant.

-Our brain is designed to help us survive not to make us happy. We are worrying about what other people think.

-Life is short - but if you only had a week to live- I bet you wouldn't let yourself suffer about things that don't matter. You would take in all the moments- smell the air.

Why not just decide- I won't suffer.

You can end that- and say… I've made the decision to live in an awesome state.

-Someone will get sick, you will lose a family member, you could get divorced, nobody knows what will really happen in life.

-You can decide what happens in life, you will have a great time.

-Human beings think the outside world determines how we feel… but if someone else has to behave a certain way for you to be happy, you'll never be happy! Your spouse, your boss, etc.

-You treat people SO MUCH BETTER when you're feeling loving and happy than when you're feeling sorry for yourself and overwhelmed and frustrated.

-You're going to be a better parent, person, lover, business person.

-You instantly change when you decide you are going to live in this state.

-Doesn't mean you won't feel bad. You just won't let yourself sit there. It means you are committed to working yourself out of it, so you can live in a happy state.

Because that's what it's all about!! Go out and have awesome days and treat people well and live a life you love!

In this episode we're talking PARTIES!! And party prep and specifically what to do the day before your event to make sure it runs smoothly. I'm sharing all the hacks I've learned for working your buns off ahead of time and getting organized and communicating with everyone else involved… so by the time the party starts… you aren't worried about anything and you and your guests are having the best time ever!

Lindsay talks about how she's made all the mistakes when it comes to party planning and she's spent more parties than she'd like to admit, running around trying to solve problems or she's been running late for the set-up and guests are arriving.

Today, we are making sure you avoid alllll that and plan out your parties ahead of time so they are smooth and fantastic and create the best experiences and memories with your family and friends.

Most important:

MENTALLY walk yourself through the next day. Make a big list and execute and communicate on it!

Here are some of the topics Lindsay discusses:

-Timelines and layouts of your event are key!

-Helpers are key- especially day before and day of the event.

-Have specific people helping with pick-up during the event and anything that needs checking or updating.

-Make your photography list

-Make your vendor contact list

Things you MUST do the day before:

-Confirm with all vendors - on the phone or email and run through all details

-Have a layout of where things will go and tell vendors or helpers ahead of time

-Walk through the entire event with your helper

-Do everything except for fresh food ahead of time - dessert table is final thing!

(You might have to rent your space for longer if you're doing a rental)

-Make sure everyone is paid! (So you aren't paying on site)

-Walk through the timing of the party

-Make sure lighting and weather are good and looking good (do you need last minute umbrellas?)

-Make sure you have all the things people could ask for! (Bottles of water, SPF, extra toilet paper in bathroom, everything!)

-Pull out candles and lighter (so you aren't looking for them.

That's it! Your day before party guide for having awesome parties!!

How To Be Awesome At Caring Less About Shit That Doesn't Matter

THIS is your pep talk for when you are caring too much about things don't really matter, or things from the past that you can't change, or anything else that consumes your minutes and keeps you up and night that you must let go.

Before we get into, if cussing bugs you, this is not the podcast episode for you. But if you don't mind it, and understand it's absolutely essential in getting this message across, stick with us. We're talking about how to train ourselves to use one of my favorite tools when things irritate us… inhale the good shit and exhale the bad shit. It really works.

We're talking about one of Lindsays's favorite books by Mark Manson, The Simple Art Of Not Giving A Fuck and how we must realize that anything we give our time and attention to is something else that we don't have time for. And that something else is stuff that makes you HAPPY and feel live and grow and learn and adventure… all the good stuff.

So, grab all your mental baggage and come with Lindsay on this podcast episode all about letting it go.

Here are some key points that Lindsay talks about:

-Your past does not determine what your future will be like and it's not who you are!

-Forgive yourself and other people and move on.

-Shake off the daily little stuff that's irritating.

-Stop blaming - there is so much power in thinking it's all your fault.

-Think about your fucks like coins in your purse. You only have so many to give.

-What do you really care about?? If it doesn't fall under that, LET IT GO.

-We need some sort of struggle in our life- the key is finding the good struggles that feel important to you. That's where meaning comes from and that's what we all need.

CHOOSE YOUR PROBLEMS.

-If you feel stuck, it's because you feel like you don't have the power to solve it. But you always have the power to do something and create the meaning.

-First, change perspective about it, and know you can solve it.

It's not about eliminating all problems, it's about finding what is worthwhile to you.

-Inhale the good shit and exhale the bad shit. It really works.

Greek philosopher said:

A man who thinks he knows everything learns nothing.

If you think you know everything that's true in life and about your life… you'll never grow and learn and be open to adventures.

Think… I know what I know today but I know that all that could change tomorrow.

It's liberating to constantly question.

The high school pimple story! Often what we relive over and over is stuff that nobody else is thinking about… they are worrying about themselves!!

And here's the thing- if you're out there doing things, you will not appeal to everyone. Doing anything BOLDLY can make you polarizing. But that can't stop you.

When you're 99 and looking back- you won't be thinking about those people. Haters gonna hate. No matter what you do- unless you sit at home and do nothing. And then you'd have judgment for that too.

-You can't do anything great - or strive for anything great - without escaping the judgment of others. And you'll turn some people off- and that's the point. You can't be liked by everyone. You can't be afraid of someone telling you that you're dumb or lame.

Giving too many fucks can kill you mentally.

Lindsay did a podcast about LESS and I love that and I think it goes with this.

Lindsay is working on making her life more simple, and with that is, letting go!!! Letting go of stuff and letting go of thoughts.

Know what's important to you and exercise your mental strength.

And if something pisses you off- stop reading it, stop listening to it. You have more control than you think!

You choose what you consume!

Let go of anything that doesn't matter. That's it.