When we become parents, someone really should hand us a book that details, exactly, how to NOT raise an a-hole. 

Karen Alpert (of the blog Baby Sideburns), a mom of two and author of Mamas, Don't Let Your Kids Grow Up to be A-Holes: Unfiltered Advice on How to Raise Awesome Kids, recognizes that parents are terrified of inadvertently raising assholes.

"It is definitely one of my big fears," she says. "I don't want to raise a kid that's an a-hole. All the sexting and scary stuff and  male chauvinism and racism  - I'm trying to hard to teach my kids that stuff shouldn't be part of their lives."

But she knows there are no guarantees. And she starts her book by stating that babies are, almost by definition, a-holes. (Think about it: They scream when they need something. They don't care about your sleep or your needs or anything but their own comfort.)

"It is our job as parents to get the a-hole-y-ness out of them," Karen says. "We have 18 years. It is our job to send them out into the world in the best way possible."

We can do that by seizing random and ordinary moments. "Kids are like clay," Karen says. "Everything we do contributes to shaping them."

In this episode, Jen, Janet & Karen discuss:

Parents' secret fear

Bullying

How parenting approaches evolve as kids grow

Teaching kids to be considerate

Seizing opportunities to teach values

Revisiting conversations

Teaching kids to be anti-racist

How to teach kids important lessons while being creative and fun

"Boys will be boys"

Resisting gender stereotypes & expectations

20 ways to make your kids more creative

Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:

Mamas, Don't Let Your Kids Grow Up to be A-Holes: Unfiltered Advice on How to Raise Awesome Kids -- Karen's latest book

I Heart My Little A-Holes: A Bunch of Holy Crap Moments No One Ever Told You About Parenting -- Karen's first book

babysideburns.com -- Karen's blog

Just Don't be an Asshole (w Kara Kinney Cartwright) -- ON BOYS episode

How to Raise a Decent Human Being -- classic BuildingBoys post

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