What does “boys will be boys” really mean—and why does it get under so many parents’ skin? In this powerful episode, we dive into the final challenge of Parental Guidance and unpack the loaded stereotypes around masculinity, parenting roles, and what it means to raise emotionally healthy boys in today’s world. From baby dolls to rough-and-tumble play, the conversation gets real about how we guide our sons—and what we might be getting wrong.

KEY POINTS:

• Why the phrase “boys will be boys” is not an excuse for bad behaviour
• How TV moments can misrepresent real-life parenting and child behaviour
• The critical role fathers can and should play in early parenting
• Gender roles, cultural expectations, and the policing of boys’ behaviour
• The concept of “surplus value” and helping boys become safe, strong contributors
• The challenge of letting boys be expressive without fear of being labelled or shamed
• Encouraging healthy masculinity without shaming traditional male traits

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:

“Boys will be boys is never an acceptable excuse when a boy is making others feel unsafe or weaker. Healthy masculinity is about being a bonus — adding value and helping people feel safer and stronger." — Justin Coulson

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Parental Guidance Season 3, Episode 4 (available to stream on 9Now)
• Richard Reeves – Of Boys and Men
• Upcoming book on raising boys by Dr Justin Coulson

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:

1. Challenge the stereotype: Avoid using phrases like “boys will be boys” to excuse disrespectful or rough behaviour.
2. Involve dads early: Regardless of breastfeeding or work roles, dads can actively participate in everything from settling babies to managing household chaos.
3. Nurture competence: Support your partner’s (and your child’s) parenting confidence—especially when they feel unsure.
4. Talk about gender norms: With both sons and daughters, talk openly about gender expectations, and give them permission to break the mould.
5. Model and celebrate healthy masculinity: Encourage boys to add value to others' lives, and help them develop emotional literacy without forcing them to fit a mould.

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