If the harshest voice in your life is your own, you’re not alone. In this video I map John Gottman’s “Four Horsemen” (criticism, defensiveness, contempt, stonewalling) onto our inner dialogue to explain how self-abuse forms—and why it’s so hard to escape.Then I show you how to rebuild the relationship with yourself using two levers: high commitment (taking “give up on me” off the table) and realistic standards (dropping the inhuman bar). Expect practical reframes, not platitudes—and a path out that’s hard, honest, and doable.If you’ve been withdrawing, sabotaging, or fantasizing about disappearing, this is your sign to try again—with better tools and a fairer contract with yourself.

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Disclaimer: This content is not intended to be a replacement for receiving treatment. It is purely educational in nature. My relationship with you is that of presenter and audience, not therapist and client.

But I do care.