为你读英语美文 · 第344期 回顾2019，读《现代爱情》，用爱点亮新的一年

主播：严喆

坐标：德国 · 维尔茨堡

Let’s Meet Again in Five Years

让我们五年后再见吧

作者：Karen B. Kaplan,

翻译：永清，严喆

来源：New York Times, Modern Love

When I told Howard that we should meet again in five years to see if we were meant to be together, I thought I was just being practical. My idea was less about romance than hedging our bets.

当我告诉霍华德我们应该五年后再见，看看我们是否注定会在一起时，我想当下我只是非常务实。我的想法与其说是为了浪漫，不如说是为了减少风险。

I was only 18 then, a freshman at Cornell, and he was barely 21. We had dated since September and now it was spring. Soon we would be headed back to opposite coasts, he to San Francisco and me to suburban New Jersey. The impending separation was forcing us to re-evaluate. Our dorm-room conversation went something like this:

那时我才18岁，康奈尔大学的大一新生，他才21岁。我们从九月开始约会，现在是春天。很快我们就会回到相隔的海岸，他回旧金山，我回新泽西郊区。即将到来的离别迫使我们重新评估我们的关系。我们在宿舍的谈话是这样的：

Me: “I think finding The One is a matter of person, place and time. What if we’re both the right person but this is the wrong place and time? We’d miss our chance and regret it.”

我：“我认为找到对的人，是人，地点和时间的问题。如果我们都是对的人，但却是错误的时间和地点怎么办？我们会错过机会，而且会后悔。”

Him: “So, are you saying we should stay together?”

他：“那么，你是说我们应该在一起吗？”

Me: “No. I don’t want to marry the first guy I’m serious about. I’m saying, let’s give ourselves a second chance. Let’s meet in five years. I’ll be 23, and you’ll be 26. We’ll see if we want to get back together.”

我：“不，我不想嫁给自己第一个认真约会的人。我是说，让我们都给自己一次机会。我们五年后再见吧。那时我23岁，你26岁。再看看我们是不是还想在一起。”

Howard agreed. We settled on meeting at the New York Public Library, near the uptown lion, at 4 p.m. on the first Sunday in April, five years from that spring. We wrote our pledge on a dollar bill, tore it in half and gave each other the half we’d written on.

霍华德同意了。我们决定在4月的第一个星期天下午4点在靠近上城的纽约公共图书馆门口的狮子前见面，距离那个时间还有5年。我们在一张一美元的钞票上写下了誓言，撕成两半，把我们写的那一半给了对方。

Meeting in a public place would minimize any unwanted intimacy if things felt awkward. Four o’clock made sense because we could start with a drink, and if things went well, we could proceed to dinner and go from there. If things weren’t going well, we could go our separate ways.

在公共场所见面，可以最大程度地减少亲密接触，如果感觉到尴尬的话。四点钟是有道理的，因为我们可以先喝一杯，如果一切顺利，我们可以继续吃晚饭，然后再进行别的。如果不顺利，我们就可以各自回家。

The New York Public Library was a sentimental choice; as English majors, we had spent a lot of time around books. And it was an easy landmark to find, one that was likely to still exist in five years, unlike a restaurant or bar.

纽约公共图书馆是一个感性的选择；作为英语专业的学生，我们花了很多时间看书。这是一个很容易找的地标，五年后仍会存在，不像餐馆或酒吧。

Although the first Sunday in April was our original choice, I soon realized that could fall on Easter, and my mother, a firm Catholic, would never abide my heading into New York City that day; we’d be having a family celebration.

尽管4月的第一个星期天是我们最初的选择，但我很快意识到可能是在复活节，我的母亲，一个坚定的天主教徒，永远不会容忍我那天去纽约；我们要举行家庭庆祝活动。

So Howard and I took back our half dollar bills, crossed out April, wrote May and handed them back to each other.

所以我和霍华德拿回了我们的半张美钞，划掉了四月，写了五月，然后还给了对方。

And then we failed to break up. In fact, we stayed together that summer and through the whole next school year. It wasn’t until the next semester, when he took a leave of absence and lived in Manhattan, that our relationship finally ended. (I started seeing someone else, he found out, and that was that.)

接下来，我们其实并没有分手。事实上，那年夏天我们一直在一起，直到下一学年。下学期他请假住去了曼哈顿，我们的关系才最终结束。（他发现我开始和别人约会，于是就结束了。）

We had three and a half years before our meeting.

我们有三年半没有见面。

I used that time well. I had relationships, flings, crushes. With a few of those men, I wondered, “Is he The One?” For various reasons, the answer was never “Yes.” Might it have been “Yes” if Howard and I didn’t have our date planned?

我很好地利用了那段时间。我有过恋爱，摇摆，热恋。我问自己，在和我在一起的那些男人中，“他就是我的真命天子吗？由于种种原因，答案从来不是“Yes”。如果霍华德和我没有计划好约会的话，答案可能会是“Yes”吧？

Maybe, maybe not. In any case, most of my interactions with men, whether short or long-lasting, only strengthened my sense that Howard probably was The One and that I had been prudent to arrange our second chance.

也许，也许不是。无论如何，我和男人的交往，无论是短暂的还是长久的，只会强化我的意识：霍华德很可能就是我的真命天子，那个我谨慎地给了第二次机会的人。

A part of our agreement that didn’t make it onto the dollar bill was that we would tell no one, a rule I promptly forgot. At some point, I told my best friend. She thought the plan was creative (but felt bad for the guy I was seeing at the time). I also told my mother, which was a mistake.

我们的约定中有一部分没有写在美元上，那就是我们不会告诉任何人，但这条约定我很快就忘了。在某个时候，我告诉了我最好的朋友。她觉得这个计划很有创意（对于当时我正在约会的人，我感到糟糕）。我还告诉了我妈妈，这显然是个错误。

At the five-year mark, I was living in Minneapolis. I was in a relationship that had been staggering along for months. As for Howard and me, we hadn’t spoken or communicated at all for a couple of years. I vaguely knew of his whereabouts from mutual friends, but this was before cellphones, the internet and email, a bygone era where you could actually lose touch with people and not know how to contact them even if you wanted to.

到了第五年的时候，我住在明尼阿波利斯。我当时还在一段关系中，但这段关系已经摇摇欲坠几个月了。至于霍华德和我，我们已经有好几年没有联系了。我隐约从共同的朋友那知道了他的情况，但这是在手机、互联网和电子邮件出现之前，在以前的时代，你可能真会和人失去联系，即使你想联系，也不知道怎么联系。

That’s what had happened with us.

我们就是这样的。

Nevertheless, a few days before that first Sunday in May, I flew home to the Jersey suburbs for a visit with my mother, planning to head into the city for the weekend. My sister had an apartment on the Upper West Side, and it would be nothing unusual for me to stay with her because I always did when I visited.

尽管如此，在五月的第一个星期天的前几天，我飞回泽西郊区的家里看望母亲，计划周末去趟市区。我姐姐在纽约上西区有套公寓，我过去姐姐那里再平常不过，因为我每次去看望她时都住她那儿。

But my mother kept suggesting an alternative plan, arguing that it would be better to go into New York when my sister wasn’t working (as a restaurant employee, she was busiest on weekends).

但我母亲一直在提议，她认为最好在我姐姐不工作的时候去纽约（作为一名餐厅员工，她周末最忙）。

“No,” I said. “I have to go in this weekend. I’m meeting Howard on Sunday.”

“不，”我说。“我得这周末去。星期天我要去见霍华德。”

That stopped her. “I didn’t know you two were still in touch.”

这句话打断了她，“我不知道你们俩还在联系。”

“We haven’t been,” I said. “But we agreed to meet on the first Sunday in May this year, so I have to be in the city.”

“我们没有联系，”我说。“但我们约定在今年5月的第一个星期天见面，所以我必须去纽约。”

“When did you make this agreement?”

“你们什么时候的约定？”

“Five years ago.” I said.

“五年前。”我说。

“Oh my God! Five years ago? Are you out of your mind? Doesn’t he live in California? He’s not going to fly all the way to New York for this.”

“天哪！五年前？你疯了吗？他不是住在加利福尼亚吗？他不会为了这个约定而一路飞到纽约的。”

“Yes, he will. I’m sure he’ll be there.”

“他会的。我肯定他会来的。”

While I was on the train into Manhattan, my mother called my sister and urged her to keep me from following through, fearing I’d be heartbroken when Howard didn’t show.

当我坐火车去曼哈顿的时候，母亲打电话给姐姐，要她劝我不要去，她担心霍华德不来的话我会伤心。

When I arrived, my sister said, “You’re trying to live your life like a movie. Real life doesn’t work like that. He’s not even going to remember, much less travel 3,000 miles. You’re setting yourself up for big disappointment.”

我到了以后，姐姐说：“你是在把生活活成电影。现实生活不是这样的。他甚至都不会想起来，更不用说跑3000英里过来了。你就准备着大失所望吧。”

I disagreed.

我不同意。

She had to work that afternoon and evening, so I was (quite happily) on my own for the walk from the Upper West Side to Midtown. A few minutes before 4 p.m., I found myself standing across the street from the library, scanning the small crowd in front, when suddenly I saw Howard heading toward the library’s steps.

那天下午和晚上她都得工作，所以我（很高兴）独自一人从上西区步行到市中心。下午4点的前几分钟，我恍然发现自己已经站在图书馆对面的大街上，扫视着前面的人群，突然，我看到霍华德朝图书馆的台阶走去。

We saw each other, smiled and waved. I crossed the street and we hugged in front of the lion (Fortitude, I learned later), then sat down on the steps and started talking.

我们见到了彼此，微笑着挥手。我过了马路，我们在狮子前相拥（后来我才知道那座狮像叫“坚毅“），然后坐在台阶上开始说话。

Our conversation lasted two days. Then Howard caught a plane back to California.

我们的谈话持续了两天。然后，霍华德飞回了加利福尼亚。

It wasn’t immediately “happily ever after” for us. I had to extricate myself from the relationship with the other guy. Howard and I also had to figure out how we were going to live in the same city.

对我们来说，这并不是马上就开始了“从此，他们幸福地生活下去”的生活。我不得不从和另一个人的关系中解脱出来。霍华德和我还得想好我们如何到同一个城市生活。

That fall I moved to the Bay Area for a couple of months on a work assignment. A few months later, he moved to Minneapolis, where we stayed for two years before moving to New York. And, yes, once we were back east, we married.

那年秋天，我搬到湾区工作了几个月。几个月后，他搬到了明尼阿波利斯，在那里我们呆了两年才搬到纽约。是的，一旦我们回到东部，就结婚了。

I still resisted calling our story romantic. Friends who had heard the story tended to exaggerate the details, saying things like, “And you didn’t see each other for 10 years?”

我还是不愿意把我们的故事说得浪漫。听过这个故事的朋友往往会夸大细节，说“你们有10年没见面了？”

Actually, it was a five-year plan. And it was only three years that we were fully out of touch.

实际上，这是一个五年计划。我们只有三年完全没有联系。

Or they’ll say: “And you always knew …”

或者他们会说：“你总是知道的…”

No, that was the whole point of the agreement. We didn’t always know. Even after the meeting, it took a while for us to move in together. When we moved to New York, we agreed we would have to see how things worked out with jobs before making any promises.

不，这就是约定的意义。我们并不知道。即使在见面以后，我们也花了一段时间才住在一起。当我们搬到纽约时，我们一致认为，在做出任何承诺之前，我们必须先看看工作情况如何。

What is true is how the story has helped sustain our relationship through times of trouble. I would have hated to end the story with, “Unfortunately, it didn’t work out.” With a story like that, of course we had to stay together. A romantic past, we’ve discovered, can help keep you belted in place until you find equilibrium.

讲真，这个故事帮助我们在想要放弃这段关系的时候坚持了下来。我不想以“很不幸，没能成功”来结束这个故事，因为这个故事，我们一定要在一起。我们发现，一段浪漫的经历可以帮你找到平衡。

Still, I insisted the story was about foresight and prudence, not romance. I only shared the story with people who wouldn’t think I was trying to live my life like a movie — who would know the story was about being smart in love, not starry-eyed.

尽管如此，我还是坚持认为，这个故事是关于远见和谨慎，而不是浪漫。我只和那些不认为我想把自己的生活过成电影的人分享这个故事——他们会知道这个故事是关于爱情中的智慧，而不是盲目乐观。

For years, I ended the story with: “I thought I was just being practical in giving us a second chance. It turned out to be a good plan.”

多年来，我一直以这样的方式来结束这个故事“我以为我只是很务实地给了我们第二次机会。才发现，这是个很好的计划。”

“Well, the plan may have been practical,” a friend said recently. “But the fact that you both showed up: There’s the romance.”

一位朋友最近说：“嗯，这个计划可能是务实的。”，“但你们都赴约了的事实说明这就是爱情。”

He was right. It was our complete faith in the other person — despite others’ cautions — that defined the romance. We showed up for each other.

他是对的。正是我们对另一个人的完全信任——不顾别人的警告——才造就了这段恋情。我们为彼此赴约了。

We now have been married for 35 years. Howard still shows up for me, and I show up for him. The torn dollar bill is in a frame on his dresser.

现在，我们已经结婚35年了。霍华德仍会为我出现，我也会为他出现。那张破旧的美元钞票一直在他梳妆台的镜框里。