The Optimist

“I Got Sober, Married A Supermodel, And Built Everything From Nothing” with Michael Chernow


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Michael Chernow spent most of his life searching for a father's love, and it nearly killed him. From childhood abuse and molestation to an 11-year battle with addiction that ended with a heroin overdose and a flatline at 24, Michael's story is one of the most raw and redemptive conversations we've ever had on this show.


Today, Michael is a serial entrepreneur, CEO of Kreatures of Habit, a pro bodybuilder, and - the title he's most proud of - a father of two boys. In this episode, he shares everything: how training saved his life, the love story with his wife Donna, the "13 Things" he tells his sons every night, why kids can no longer safely experiment with drugs, and what he believes it truly means to be a man.


This one hits different.

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 — Preview

00:26 — Michael's childhood in Manhattan and his father's abuse

02:17 — Searching for a father's love and falling into the hands of a predator

02:36 — What fatherhood means to him now

03:45 — What makes his wife Donna such a phenomenal mother

05:04 — The love story: how Michael met Donna at the restaurant

09:02 — She ghosted him — then came back

10:23 — Moving in together and falling in love in early sobriety

11:20 — Why his sober mentor told him not to fall in love

12:28 — The truth about sober sex

14:13 — Calling his grandfather for permission to marry her

15:22 — Why commitment breeds confidence and courage

16:49 — What men do when they feel threatened in relationships

17:56 — The power of fighting through discomfort in marriage

19:27 — The proposal: Mount Etna erupts in Sicily

22:21 — None of this is possible without sobriety

22:36 — The abuse at home and slitting his wrists at 12

24:00 — Turning to drugs as an escape route

24:36 — Being molested by his sports coach and Cub Scout leader

26:24 — His grandmother's mantra: "Bless you, change me"

29:02 — His 10-year-old son breaks down about being short

30:34 — The only thing you have to do perfectly in life: get back up

31:20 — Courage: being afraid and doing it anyway

32:27 — The 13 Things he tells his sons every night

35:06 — What he'd say to a 10-year-old boy who's struggling

36:02 — Jake reflects on coming down hard on his younger brother

38:02 — How consistency in messaging shapes a child's brain

39:06 — Why he never yells at his kids

40:15 — Why structure and routine are everything for raising kids

43:43 — Screen time, technology, and keeping kids off social media

45:15 — Fortnite, Roblox, and online predators

46:44 — Where to raise kids: city vs. woods vs. beach

48:42 — The only thing that really matters in life

51:05 — Why he chose upstate New York

53:52 — What do you do when you find drugs in your kid's room?

57:34 — The fentanyl crisis: why kids can't experiment anymore

58:40 — A student at his sons' school dies from fentanyl

01:02:32 — Being strict doesn't work — but being soft doesn't either

01:04:52 — Talk to your kids like men, not like little kids

01:05:30 — The elevator story: "You never walk in front of a woman"

01:06:29 — Chivalry at the dinner table

01:07:10 — The backlash he gets for teaching chivalry

01:10:05 — Where did chivalry go?

01:11:31 — The Dana Cowin moment that changed his perspective

01:15:48 — Restaurant etiquette: who walks to the table first?

01:19:14 — The LA dating scene and why guys need to step up

01:20:01 — What "protection" really means as a man

01:22:16 — The value of training and learning to take a punch

01:28:02 — Jake's hockey drill: learn to get hit before you throw one

01:30:29 — Should you force your kids to train?

01:31:51 — Leading by example: training at 5:15 every morning

01:34:09 — Why training is the foundation for everything

01:36:16 — The morning hours are sacred: pour the concrete

01:38:52 — You get to choose the lifestyle you lead

01:43:22 — What does it mean to be a man nowadays?

01:45:33 — "I'm a walker, not a talker"

01:48:01 — The Meatball Shop and the best advice he ever got: "Shut your mouth"

01:50:03 — The power is in the pause

...more
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The OptimistBy Jake Hurwitz

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