Michael Chernow spent most of his life searching for a father's love, and it nearly killed him. From childhood abuse and molestation to an 11-year battle with addiction that ended with a heroin overdose and a flatline at 24, Michael's story is one of the most raw and redemptive conversations we've ever had on this show.

Today, Michael is a serial entrepreneur, CEO of Kreatures of Habit, a pro bodybuilder, and - the title he's most proud of - a father of two boys. In this episode, he shares everything: how training saved his life, the love story with his wife Donna, the "13 Things" he tells his sons every night, why kids can no longer safely experiment with drugs, and what he believes it truly means to be a man.

This one hits different.

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 — Preview

00:26 — Michael's childhood in Manhattan and his father's abuse

02:17 — Searching for a father's love and falling into the hands of a predator

02:36 — What fatherhood means to him now

03:45 — What makes his wife Donna such a phenomenal mother

05:04 — The love story: how Michael met Donna at the restaurant

09:02 — She ghosted him — then came back

10:23 — Moving in together and falling in love in early sobriety

11:20 — Why his sober mentor told him not to fall in love

12:28 — The truth about sober sex

14:13 — Calling his grandfather for permission to marry her

15:22 — Why commitment breeds confidence and courage

16:49 — What men do when they feel threatened in relationships

17:56 — The power of fighting through discomfort in marriage

19:27 — The proposal: Mount Etna erupts in Sicily

22:21 — None of this is possible without sobriety

22:36 — The abuse at home and slitting his wrists at 12

24:00 — Turning to drugs as an escape route

24:36 — Being molested by his sports coach and Cub Scout leader

26:24 — His grandmother's mantra: "Bless you, change me"

29:02 — His 10-year-old son breaks down about being short

30:34 — The only thing you have to do perfectly in life: get back up

31:20 — Courage: being afraid and doing it anyway

32:27 — The 13 Things he tells his sons every night

35:06 — What he'd say to a 10-year-old boy who's struggling

36:02 — Jake reflects on coming down hard on his younger brother

38:02 — How consistency in messaging shapes a child's brain

39:06 — Why he never yells at his kids

40:15 — Why structure and routine are everything for raising kids

43:43 — Screen time, technology, and keeping kids off social media

45:15 — Fortnite, Roblox, and online predators

46:44 — Where to raise kids: city vs. woods vs. beach

48:42 — The only thing that really matters in life

51:05 — Why he chose upstate New York

53:52 — What do you do when you find drugs in your kid's room?

57:34 — The fentanyl crisis: why kids can't experiment anymore

58:40 — A student at his sons' school dies from fentanyl

01:02:32 — Being strict doesn't work — but being soft doesn't either

01:04:52 — Talk to your kids like men, not like little kids

01:05:30 — The elevator story: "You never walk in front of a woman"

01:06:29 — Chivalry at the dinner table

01:07:10 — The backlash he gets for teaching chivalry

01:10:05 — Where did chivalry go?

01:11:31 — The Dana Cowin moment that changed his perspective

01:15:48 — Restaurant etiquette: who walks to the table first?

01:19:14 — The LA dating scene and why guys need to step up

01:20:01 — What "protection" really means as a man

01:22:16 — The value of training and learning to take a punch

01:28:02 — Jake's hockey drill: learn to get hit before you throw one

01:30:29 — Should you force your kids to train?

01:31:51 — Leading by example: training at 5:15 every morning

01:34:09 — Why training is the foundation for everything

01:36:16 — The morning hours are sacred: pour the concrete

01:38:52 — You get to choose the lifestyle you lead

01:43:22 — What does it mean to be a man nowadays?

01:45:33 — "I'm a walker, not a talker"

01:48:01 — The Meatball Shop and the best advice he ever got: "Shut your mouth"

01:50:03 — The power is in the pause

Your brain isn't broken. It's just doing exactly what it was designed to do: keep you alive, not make you happy.

Dr. Deepika Chopra is a behavioural scientist, optimism researcher, and author of The Power of Real Optimism. In this episode, she breaks down the actual science of why most of us default to negativity, what real optimism looks like (hint: it's nothing like toxic positivity), and the practical tools she uses with her clients to rewire how they think. This one is packed.

Whether you're someone who struggles to stay positive, wakes up in a bad mood every day, or just wants to understand why your brain works against you, this episode will change how you see yourself.

TIMESTAMPS

01:03 – Optimism is born through struggle, not blissful days

02:16 – How men vs. women talk to themselves at the gym (the TikTok that started it all)

05:12 – What an 8-year-old boy worrying about six packs tells us about modern masculinity

07:32 – Why it's never been harder to be a man

09:04 – How men bond vs. how women bond — the hunter-gatherer theory

11:51 – The loneliness epidemic: why making new friends as an adult is so hard

14:24 – How a mahjong group of 4 turned into 70 people (and what it teaches us about male connection)

18:32 – Why Deepika dedicated her life to studying optimism — and she's not even the most optimistic person she knows

23:48 – The brain is a future-oriented organ: what that means for your mental health

27:23 – Happiness vs. optimism: are they the same thing?

28:20 – "Happiness was manufactured in the 70s by ad agencies" — Jake's mind-bending theory

30:14 – Your brain prioritizes safety over happiness — here's why that matters

31:23 – What real optimism actually looks like (it's not what you think)

34:21 – The Joy List: the simple tool Deepika gives all her clients

36:12 – Why you can't solve problems when you're deep in a negative emotion

37:02 – Does money buy happiness? The honest answer

39:15 – "Life is happening for me, not to me" — how a random movie line changed Jake's life

40:44 – How optimism is trained, not a trait — the three ways to build it

42:24 – Why most people operate from a pessimistic place (and what to do about it)

45:05 – Optimists live longer, get sick less, and are more successful — the research

46:05 – Why optimism is actually attractive

47:23 – The genetic component of optimism is smaller than you think

50:09 – Happiness is contagious by three degrees of separation

50:33 – Jake's girlfriend wakes up happy every morning — what's actually going on in the brain

54:19 – What Deepika learned from resenting her husband's morning routine

56:00 – Why a man who can't be knocked off his frame is more attractive

01:01:16 – Going through dark times as a couple and what it reveals about your partner

01:02:09 – What does it mean to be a man in 2026?

01:04:54 – Why the most successful men tend to have sisters

01:05:23 – Why this is actually an optimistic and exciting time to be a man

01:06:34 – About Deepika's book: The Power of Real Optimism

Nothing was off limits in this one.

Adam Greenfeld, the entrepreneur behind nootropics brand Thesis and one of the most vocal voices on modern masculinity, sat down with us for the second time on one of the most wide-ranging conversations we've ever had on The Optimist. We went from Kabbalah to aliens, from how to raise boys who respect women to why wanting things might actually be a feminine energy, and somehow it all made sense.

If you've ever felt like something is deeply wrong with the world but couldn't put your finger on it, this episode is for you.

🕐 TIMESTAMPS

00:00 – Making women feel safe: Adam's ultimate Northstar

01:55 – What is Kabbalah? And why it hit different than religion

07:11 – How Jake found his community in LA through Kabbalah Club

10:36 – The masculine/feminine experiment Jake ran on himself

16:30 – "Pause. What a pleasure." — the mantra that changes everything

21:22 – Is vulnerability a muscle? How to train it

25:32 – Loneliness behind the scenes: what happens after everyone leaves

30:46 – What inspires and disgusts Adam about modern society

31:34 – Simulation theory, the double slit experiment & reality isn't real

40:51 – The broken food system: why the same people making you sick are selling you the cure

43:00 – Aliens, extraterrestrial life & the unexplained hockey stick of human evolution

47:21 – What does it actually mean to be a man in 2026?

50:04 – How do we hold our guy friends accountable when they mistreat women?

54:05 – How to talk to an 18-year-old about respecting women before college

01:01:08 – Creating a culture of safety so kids come to you, not away from you

01:05:57 – Why removing taboo from sex, drugs & alcohol might be the answer

01:11:51 – Scott Galloway's parenting advice & letting kids figure shit out

01:15:43 – Why guys are arseholes to women — and what's really going on underneath

01:21:14 – Attachment theory: how your first 2 years of life wired you for love

01:26:08 – "Wanting things is for girls" — the concept of masculine capacity

01:32:12 – Jake's spending addiction, the 7-day no-spend challenge & what freedom actually feels like

01:39:17 – Facing death: fear, near-death experiences & what's on the other side

01:47:30 – Reincarnation, simulation theory & why death might not exist

01:51:49 – The one thing Elon Musk says has driven all of his success

#MensMentalHealth #ModernMasculinity #TheOptimist #AdamGreenfeld #Kabbalah #SimulationTheory #AttachmentTheory #PersonalDevelopment #MindsetShift #Masculinity

Have you ever wondered why you keep repeating the same patterns in relationships at work, in friendships, or with a romantic partner? The answer might have been decided before you were even 3 years old.

In this episode, Jake sits down with Thais Gibson, attachment style expert and founder of the Personal Development School, to break down everything you need to know about attachment theory…what it is, how it forms, and most importantly, how to rewire it. Whether you're anxiously attached, dismissive avoidant, fearful avoidant, or securely attached, this conversation will change the way you see yourself and everyone around you.

Thais shares her own powerful story of growing up in a chaotic household, developing a fearful avoidant attachment style, battling addiction in her teens, and how understanding the subconscious mind became the key to turning her life around. This is one of the most practical and eye-opening conversations we've had on the show.

If you've ever felt like your relationships (romantic, professional, or otherwise) aren't working the way you want them to, this episode is for you.

Key Topics Covered

• The four attachment styles: secure, anxious, dismissive avoidant, and fearful avoidant
• How attachment styles are formed in early childhood (ages 0–3)
• The Strange Situation Experiment by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth
• Why your subconscious mind runs 95–97% of your behavior
• How to identify attachment styles in dating, friendships, and the workplace
• The anxious-avoidant relationship trap and how to break the cycle
• Why men are more likely to be dismissive avoidant
• How to rewire your attachment style at any age
• What healthy masculinity looks like through the lens of attachment theory

If this episode resonated with you, please leave a review, share it with someone who needs to hear it, and subscribe so you never miss an episode.

Brooks Bash ran 100 marathons in 100 days.

On paper, that sounds like discipline. Grit. Insanity.

But what happens after the finish line?

To kickoff Season 2, Brooks and I go way deeper than the miles. We talk about self-doubt. The quiet pressure men carry. The post-achievement crash no one warns you about. Why purpose matters more than performance. And why doing something extreme doesn’t automatically heal what’s underneath.

This isn’t just about running.

It’s about masculinity, identity, usefulness, and what actually builds a man.

If you’ve ever chased something big hoping it would “fix” you, this one’s for you.

Why are so many men stuck…anxious, restless, and disconnected…even though their lives look “fine” on paper?

In this episode of The Optimist, Jake sits down with Tanner Waite; big-wave surfer, endurance athlete, and creator, for a raw conversation about fear, comfort, anger, and the moments that actually shape a man.

From nearly drowning at Nazaré to experiencing a full mental breakdown in college… from surfing as an escape to surfing as a mirror… Tanner shares how chasing comfort almost cost him his sense of purpose, and why voluntarily choosing difficulty changed everything.

This episode explores:

- Why comfort is more dangerous than failure

- How fear, anger, and pressure shape modern men

- What happens when you remove structure after college

- Why most men are afraid of the wrong things

- The difference between pain that breaks you and pain that builds you

- How nature, endurance, and stillness rewire the mind

- Why sunsets became Tanner’s most powerful mental health practice

This isn’t motivation porn. It’s not “grind harder” advice. And it’s definitely not about becoming fearless.

It’s about learning how to meet fear, sit with discomfort, and build a life that actually feels alive.

If you’ve ever felt numb, restless, or stuck in a comfortable life that doesn’t fulfill you, this conversation will hit close to home.

Veteran & former infantry officer Christian De La Torre gets real about delayed PTSD, rockets over Bagram, and the blueprint men need now: the “King’s Council.” We break down how to ask for help without feeling weak, why every man should learn self‑defense (and change a tire), building real brotherhood, and staying level in hard seasons.

What you’ll learn

• PTSD that shows up years later—how triggers work and what to do

• The King’s Council: a practical playbook for men’s friendship & accountability

• ROTC vs. enlisted: respect, leadership, and earning trust

• Why trained men fight less—and why confrontation can be healthy

• AARs (after‑action reviews) for life, not just the military

• Sunday as a barometer for your life & stress protocol that actually helps

Chapters

00:00 Cold open

02:58 ROTC vs. enlisted, earning respect as a young officer

06:03 Afghanistan, Bagram & what combat looked like in his era

10:13 Movies vs. reality—how the battlefield changed

16:13 “Closest call” — rockets, alarms and fear management

18:27 PTSD didn’t hit right away: the delayed wave

20:07 Triggers: motorcycles, helicopters, fireworks

23:12 “Pain is pain” — don’t compare your trauma

27:12 “It ain’t weak to speak” — how to start the convo

31:12 Vulnerability invites vulnerability: the car & bar stories

36:41 Creating safe space with men: trust > performance

40:14 What to take to your partner vs. your guys

44:40 King’s Council rules: cadence, honesty, accountability

50:55 AARs for civilians: debriefs, sustains, improves

54:52 Where to find brothers: jiu‑jitsu, run clubs, retreats, even gaming

57:11 Veterans & civilians: step‑by‑step to build your squad

1:02:20 What it means to be a man today (integrity, service, vulnerability)

1:05:00 Why “change a tire” still matters (competence & calm)

1:12:14 Self‑defense & fitness: be capable, not reckless

1:18:41 Hard seasons: mindset, journaling, small wins

1:21:15 Action is vitamin A — get vertical, get moving

1:36:03 Do 4 hard things a year; compound the average

1:37:35 Sunday as a life barometer; make it the best day

1:44:18 What’s next for Christian (content road trip, The Trace Club)

1:45:57 Where to find him & wrap

Resources mentioned

• Men’s groups/retreats (e.g., Everyman), jiu‑jitsu & martial arts, run clubs

• After‑Action Review (AAR) framework for life debriefs

• “It ain’t weak to speak” (mental health ethos)

About the show

Tactical conversations at the intersection of men’s mental health, performance, and modern masculinity, grounded in actions you can use today.

Disclaimer

This conversation includes adult language and mentions of war. It’s for educational purposes only and is not medical advice. If you’re struggling, talk to a qualified professional or someone you trust today.

If this helped you:

Like 👍 • Subscribe 🔔 • Comment: Who’s in your King’s Council—and what’s your next “hard thing”?

If your energy crashes after meals, your HRV is low, or you suspect low T, this episode is your blueprint.

Max Marchione—Founder/CEO of Superpower—breaks down the health “foundations” that actually move the needle: lab testing, gut & metabolic health, endocrine disruptors, HRV, and micro‑habits you can stack into a busy life. We also get into risk, culture, and modern masculinity.

What you’ll learn

• Why testing beats guessing (labs, ApoB/Lp(a), vitamin D, prediabetes)

• How gut health and metabolism drive mood, energy, and stress

• HRV 101: what it is, why high performers often have high HRV, and how to raise it

• Micro‑habits that compound (elevator meditations, 5.5/5.5 breathing, “micro‑moments”)

• Testosterone & today’s environment: behavior, toxins, and practical fixes

• Building teams & culture where fun is a performance input

• Risk math for founders: “price risk right” and move faster

Chapters (approx.)

00:00 Cold open

07:05 Teenage Max: rule‑breaking, early ventures, health struggles

09:43 DIY diagnostics: CGMs, gut tests, mercury, pushing doctors

11:31 Stress & anxiety: fix sleep, gut, hormones first

12:57 Small levers: breathing, supplements, “micro” stress management

15:08 Why lab testing changes behavior

16:26 Common 2025 patterns: vitamin D, ApoB/Lp(a), prediabetes

18:04 Why Superpower now; consumer health turning point

21:19 Focus > doing everything; killing v1 & dropping price

23:46 Risk math: “I don’t take much risk—I price it better”

25:57 Culture, failure, parenting & school conditioning

28:39 Testosterone & modern behavior

32:49 Endocrine disruptors, BPA, mold, air quality

36:39 The Superpower protocol: from data to action

37:51 Transformation story

40:12 Social health & community

43:26 Burnout: find the “why”

44:08 HRV explained; why high performers often have high HRV

47:16 Passive optimization: elevator meditations

50:09 Micro‑moments that compound

51:58 Building a healthy office; fun as a performance input

54:17 Banking vs ideal culture

57:07 What it means to be a man today

59:45 2026 goal: do 5 years in 1

Michael C Bryan grew up in the 70s and 80s, queer, flamboyant, and full of light, in a world that told him he was too much, too different, and not a “real man.”

In this raw, emotional, and often hilarious conversation, Michael shares the truth about growing up gay in a violently homophobic time, surviving sexual trauma, reclaiming his identity after being kicked out by his family, and what it really means to be a man today.

We talk about:

• How gay men internalize shame around masculinity

• The forgotten trauma of queer boyhood

• Reparenting your inner child

• Why rage can be a creative force

• And how emotional freedom is spiritual freedom

Michael also leads a powerful guided visualization at the end of the episode that left me almost in tears.

If you’ve ever felt like you didn’t belong in the “rules of manhood” you were handed, this episode will meet you exactly where you are. Full episode is now live.

Your home might be making you anxious, and you don’t even know it.

In this first-ever documentary-style episode of The Optimist, filmed in partnership with Ozarke, Jake explores how something as simple as your lighting and décor can drastically affect your mental health, focus, and recovery.

From cold, white fluorescent bulbs that trigger stress to warm, ambient light that helps your body relax, the way your space is designed might be quietly shaping how you think, feel, and perform every day.

Featuring Alex Elsaadi, founder of Ozarke, this episode goes deep into how lighting impacts mood, productivity, sleep, and even sex, plus the design choices that can completely change your energy at home.

If you’ve ever wondered why you feel drained in your own apartment or restless at work, this one’s for you.

Timestamps

00:00 — Intro: Why your environment matters more than you think

03:00 — Alex Elsaadi: From oil & gas to lighting design

06:00 — The science behind light and mood

09:00 — Warm light vs. white light: what your brain prefers

13:00 — Why bad lighting triggers anxiety

16:00 — How lighting affects productivity and creativity

20:00 — The simple home upgrades that change everything

23:00 — Why your couch, coffee table, and lamp all matter

26:00 — Smart lighting, circadian rhythm, and better sleep

30:00 — How lighting impacts recovery and athletic performance

33:00 — The psychology of lighting for sex and intimacy

38:00 — Why most men underestimate their space

44:00 — The small design details that completely shift your mindset

48:00 — The hidden connection between home design and mental health

52:00 — Final thoughts: your space is your nervous system