The Optimist

By Jake HurwitzBusiness Entrepreneurship Health & Fitness Mental Health

The Optimist episodes

March 10, 2025 Every man is a father.
If you don’t have kids, stay calm.
This doesn’t mean you have a secret child running around.
It means that, instead of a child, you’re a father to yourself.
And that job— of reparenting yourself and breaking harmful patterns passed down to you— is an important one.
1 min
March 07, 2025 Unless it’s the RESULT of your commitment to fulfillment, money alone will never make you happy.
1 min
March 05, 2025 Most people don’t know the difference between a need, a desire, and a request.
Which is why we end up saying things like:
→ “Can you do the dishes?”
→ “Can you fix the header on our website?”
→ “I need you to be there at 4”
But what we’re really saying is:
→ “I need cleanliness.”
→ “I need help managing the website.”
→ “I need order to feel calm.”
The problem? We skip the need and jump straight to the request.
Which makes the other person feel like they’re being told what to do—rather than understanding what we actually need.
I was talking with Kenny Borg about this on The Optimist, and he broke it down perfectly:
If you come home and the house is a mess, you could say:
🆇 Bad way: “Babe, can you do the dishes?”
✅ Better way: “I’m realizing that a messy house makes me feel uneasy and disorganized.”
When you start communicating needs instead of demands, it shifts everything.
→ You give the other person an opportunity to help—not out of obligation, but because they care.
→ You stop barking orders and start creating real connection.
→ You might even realize… you don’t need them to do anything at all.
Most of us were never taught this.
We confuse requests for needs and wonder why we end up in fights.
But the more we get this right, the more our relationships start to change.
Thoughts? Have you ever caught yourself doing this?
Oh and yeah, check out the full episode here: https://theoptimistpodcast.com/
2 min
March 05, 2025 How To Navigate Today’s Chaos And Find Peace, with Executive Coach, Kenny Borg
In this episode of The Optimist, Jake sits down with Kenny Borg, a coach and entrepreneur, to discuss the "meta crisis" - the overlapping series of crises affecting our modern world and mental health. They explore how men can navigate feeling overwhelmed, the importance of finding connection, and practical ways to maintain balance. Kenny shares his journey from D1 college football player to entrepreneur to coach, offering insights on masculinity, fatherhood, and finding stillness in chaotic times.Timestamps:
0:00 Introduction and defining the meta crisis
5:48 The physiological effects of being overwhelmed
14:40 Three essential practices: time alone, time in nature, time with men
20:39 The importance of personal retreats and creating space
31:42 Effectively communicating needs in relationships
38:34 The value of male connection and friendship
46:30 Kenny's transformation from athlete to entrepreneur
54:15 Finding happiness beyond financial success
1:02:46 What it means to be a man today
1:04:30 The power of meditation and controlling your attention
1 hr 8 min
March 03, 2025 Life is like a spiral staircase.
2 min
February 28, 2025 Meditation vs. breathwork
2 min
February 26, 2025 Chris Keener told me that I should hum the next time I get cut off in traffic.
2 min
February 26, 2025 How High Performers Can Use Breathwork, with Chris Keener, Founder of GoldenAir Breathwork
In this episode, Jake sits down with breathwork instructor Chris Keener to discuss how breathwork can transform your relationship with stress, increase clarity, and enhance performance. Jake opens up about his recent breathwork journey and together, both explore how this ancient practice can help modern men connect with themselves.Timestamps:0:00 - Chris explains how he reimagined his bachelor party as a men's retreat7:00 - Jake shares his transformative first breathwork experience and how it brought clarity to his life14:00 - The history of breathwork and its connection to human stress responses21:00 - Understanding the physical sensations during breathwork (like the "lobster hands")27:00 - How breathwork helps reclaim control over your nervous system35:00 - Simple breathing techniques to use during stressful situations41:00 - Chris guides Jake through a powerful "1111" breathing exercise for meetings54:00 - How breathwork can enhance athletic performance in surfing, jiu-jitsu and more1:00:00 - Chris shares his thoughts on what it means to be a man today: "Learn who you are and become it"
1 hr 9 min
February 24, 2025 How many of you have gone for romantic partners this way?
You find someone attractive, start falling for them, and then— 6 months or so down the line— you realize they don’t quite have the qualities you’d hoped for.
Then, once you realize this, you try to TEACH them to have these qualities.
No judgment. We’ve all done it.
But as Lee Povey pointed out, changing someone simply never works. Even when it seems to, it’s temporary at best. True change has to come from within.
Here’s an alternative approach to try:
Get clear on what you’re looking for in a partner, then find someone you’re attracted to who embodies those values.
Hope to grow together, but accept that each of you are ultimately on your own journey.
Don’t get caught up in the dance of trying to change someone.
Obviously, this is easier said than done. But you can get a start on shifting your mindset towards this by listening to this week’s episode of The Optimist: https://www.theoptimistpodcast.com/
2 min
February 19, 2025 Most men are cut off from their feelings.
2 min

About The Optimist

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The Optimist is a show about what it actually takes to be a man nowadays. Jake Hurwitz sits down with entrepreneurs, scientists, executives, and people who've rebuilt their lives from scratch, and…