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"When people read words like busy, challenge, or late, it literally primes them to be busier and later and more challenged. You are literally making it harder for them to help you." - Vanessa Van Edwards

Vanessa Van Edwards shares research that will make you rethink every email you've ever sent. Researchers had people take a simple math quiz with two different sets of directions. One group got basic instructions. The other got the exact same directions, but with a few words swapped in: win, succeed, master, greatness. Those achievement-oriented words didn't just change how people felt. They performed better. Got more answers correct. Worked longer and harder. Enjoyed it more. And here's what's wild: reading those words actually changed their dopamine and testosterone levels. Then Vanessa dropped the real bomb. Think about the last email you sent your team on a Monday morning. Did it say something like "today's going to be a busy day, we have a lot of challenges ahead"? Those words are priming your team to be busier and more challenged. You're making it harder for them to help you without even realizing it. She shared another study where they put a picture of an athlete winning a race on top of telemarketers' scripts. Just that simple visual cue made them earn more money.

What hit hardest was when Vanessa said we're missing opportunities in every single email we send. Every communication is either priming someone for success or failure. She challenged listeners to go back through their sent folder and count the priming words they're using. Are you filling your emails with "busy" and "challenges" and "problems"? Or are you sprinkling in words like "win" and "succeed" and "master"? Lewis shared how he used to cover his walls with motivational posters and Rocky images in high school and college, unknowingly priming himself for achievement every single day. That's the shift Vanessa's asking us to make. Look at your environment. Look at your language. Every word you choose is either setting people up to perform at their best or making it harder for them to succeed. The research is clear. The choice is yours.

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