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Two words I have said roughly 25,000 times. Most of them on autopilot.

Description

Two words. Probably the most common two words spoken in the English language. Two words I say almost every single morning, and you probably do too. I'm fine. In this episode I work out that I have said it about 25,000 times to my carers over the last 35 years, and almost none of those times did I actually stop and think about it. I want to look at why we say it, what it costs us, and what happens when we don't. There is a Brené Brown quote, an old Zen master story I have always loved, a Thursday afternoon last week where I cried for 20 minutes and then bought a book on Amazon, and a small image about letting go before your hand hurts. You don't have to stop saying I'm fine. You just have to notice when you do.

Key Topics

• 25,000 mornings, two carers, and the most automatic answer in my life
• Why "I'm fine" is armour, and why armour is not always the wrong thing to wear
• The three reasons we wear it (and why "just think positive" is the worst advice in self help)
• The cost of saying it on autopilot, especially to the people who actually want to hear you
• An old Zen story about a master on his deathbed who said the most enlightened thing he could have said
• Brené Brown on numbing emotions, and why you cannot block only the bad weather
• A real Thursday afternoon I sat here and cried for 20 minutes, then immediately bought a book
• The hand metaphor: I let go a little earlier than I used to, before my hand hurts

Companion Meditation

When Anxiety Visits (IPM101). Five minutes. You sit down, you say hello to whatever is actually here, and you ask it why it came. It is the practical opposite of saying "I'm fine." Available on Insight Timer, Aura, and the Inner Peace Meditations podcast.

If this episode meant something to you, please share it, leave a review, or treat me to a coffee at stevenwebb.uk.

Supporters

Alex, Nina, Zoe, A Ma, Kevin, Katarzyna, Deborah, Christopher, and Ariel for recent coffees and PayPal donations.

Special thanks: MumMik's Cleaning Services for buying a course this week.

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