I'm Not In An Abusive Relationship

September Burton is a survivor who believed her story to be unique. She believed, "It must be my fault that I was being abused and that if only I were better, smarter, skinnier, quieter, wealthier..." She believed if she could live up to a certain standard then he would stop abusing her and they could be happy together.

She told us that because of podcasts like ours and books that brave women have written out that she eventually came to realize that her story is not unique and that there are people suffering who need to hear from those of who have been there and who have survived, healed, and overcome.

Part of September's healing journey is sharing her story; a story of severe emotional and psychological abuse, as well as physical abuse by “the nicest guy you’ll ever meet." In her story she shares that her abuser is an attorney and stalked her in a way where the law couldn’t touch him. He took everything: her children, home, cars, career and her world because "I saw behind the mask he wears."

September went on a healing journey and rebuilt her life. Now she speaks to empower.

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If you need resources or help in any way, call our 24 hour hotline at 800-828-2023 or visit www.DASASMI.org.

Subscribe for a new episode each week. We publish every Wednesday morning at 8:00am. Subscribe to the weekly email newsletter here or at our website here.

We appreciate your help in spreading the message of hope. You can help us reach more listeners by leaving a written review on Apple Podcasts or where you listen, and by sharing on social media.

Many survivors look back on an abusive relationship, domestic and sexual abuse alike, and ask some variation of "Am I crazy? Was I really abused?"

This can come up because the abusive person may call their reality and their sanity into question. It may come up because their abuse doesn't look like what they thought abuse would look like, or wasn't as "severe" as someone else's journey.

This question comes for many reasons. If you've asked this, then this episode is for you.

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If you need resources or help in any way, call our 24 hour hotline at 800-828-2023 or visit www.DASASMI.org.

Subscribe for a new episode each week. We publish every Wednesday morning at 8:00am. Subscribe to the weekly email newsletter here or at our website here.

We appreciate your help in spreading the message of hope. You can help us reach more listeners by leaving a written review on Apple Podcasts or where you listen, and by sharing on social media.

At domestic violence vigils across the country, we remember those who did not survive their fight for life. These are the names of the victims of domestic violence in southwest Michigan for the 2019 Domestic Violence Awareness vigils.

The names included on this list are those of women, children, and men who died starting in 1971 through this year.  The women, children, and men listed all died because of the determination and desperation of one individual to maintain power and control over another.  Please help us remember those whose lives were taken and to emphasize the need for continued efforts to stop domestic and sexual violence.

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If you need resources or help in any way, call our 24 hour hotline at 800-828-2023 or visit www.DASASMI.org.

Subscribe for a new episode each week. We publish every Wednesday morning at 8:00am. Subscribe to the weekly email newsletter here or at our website here.

We appreciate your help in spreading the message of hope. You can help us reach more listeners by leaving a written review on Apple Podcasts or where you listen, and by sharing on social media.

Whether you're a person of faith or not, going through abuse often brings up the question, "Where was God when I was being abused?" It's a big question and one the staff and volunteers at DASAS have heard over the years. In this episode, Claudia conducts a panel with Krista DeBoer, Elizabeth Alderson and Ellen Higgins.

While DASAS is not a faith-based organization and we turn no one away because of their beliefs, many of us in the organization bring some kind of faith to our work. This question hits us all deeply and in different ways. We hope this vulnerable conversation helps you confront those questions and those feelings.

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If you need resources or help in any way, call our 24 hour hotline at 800-828-2023 or visit www.DASASMI.org.

Subscribe for a new episode each week. We publish every Wednesday morning at 8:00am. Subscribe to the weekly email newsletter here or at our website here.

We appreciate your help in spreading the message of hope. You can help us reach more listeners by leaving a written review on Apple Podcasts or where you listen, and by sharing on social media.

What is spiritual abuse? Spiritual abuse (or religious abuse) is abuse administered under the guise of faith or religion. This can include harassment or humiliation, which may result in psychological trauma. Spiritual abuse may also include misuse of religion for selfish, secular, or ideological ends such as the abuse of a clerical position. It is weaponizing faith to exercise power and control over another person, usually from a position of power or leadership.

Tracey is a survivor of spiritual abuse. On this episode she shares her story, red flags to look out for and her story on her escape from abuse, her healing and even forgiveness for those who subjected her to this spiritual abuse.

Spiritual abuse is not limited to a certain religion or denomination. Any person, of any belief system, is capable of perpetrating spiritual abuse, just as anyone can be the victim of it. Signs of spiritual abuse between intimate partners include when an abusive partner:

Spiritual abuse is no less harmful or difficult to endure than any other kind of abuse, as a person’s spiritual life is deeply personal. However, it can be very difficult to identify, as many victims may not recognize they are being abused. In addition, the abusive partner may claim that any challenge to the abuse is an assault on their own religious freedom. Regardless of either partner’s religious or spiritual beliefs, abuse of any kind is never acceptable or justified.

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If you need resources or help in any way, call our 24 hour hotline at 800-828-2023 or visit www.DASASMI.org.

Subscribe for a new episode each week. We publish every Wednesday morning at 8:00am. Subscribe to the weekly email newsletter here or at our website here.

We appreciate your help in spreading the message of hope. You can help us reach more listeners by leaving a written review on Apple Podcasts or where you listen, and by sharing on social media.

Attorney Elizabeth McCree, of Benton Harbor, Michigan, fiercely defends children in the court system. She fights for their rights in many areas, including abuse cases. She joins Dan to talk about what it means to be a guardian ad litem, how we can help and much more.

Read the Benton-Michiana Spirit article here that inspired the discussion.

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If you need resources or help in any way, call our 24 hour hotline at 800-828-2023 or visit www.DASASMI.org.

Subscribe for a new episode each week. We publish every Wednesday morning at 8:00am. Subscribe to the weekly email newsletter here or at our website here.

We appreciate your help in spreading the message of hope. You can help us reach more listeners by leaving a written review on Apple Podcasts or where you listen, and by sharing on social media.

Detective Kevin McNeil is a twenty-year veteran who spent twelve years of his career investigating child abuse cases. He also happens to be a survivor of sexual abuse.

In this episode Kevin shares his survivor story, his career in the Special Victims Unit and his other work. Kevin also created The Twelve Project to be the bridge between the lack of knowledge and awareness about abuse and people’s desire to learn. He provides resources with the aim of healing and teaching individuals, families, and communities. The Twelve Project is a safe place where people can learn about abuse 24/7.

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If you need resources or help in any way, call our 24 hour hotline at 800-828-2023 or visit www.DASASMI.org.

Subscribe for a new episode each week. We publish every Wednesday morning at 8:00am. Subscribe to the weekly email newsletter here or at our website here.

We appreciate your help in spreading the message of hope. You can help us reach more listeners by leaving a written review on Apple Podcasts or where you listen, and by sharing on social media.

Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell made headlines with accusations of sex trafficking. They're accused of providing high-profile people, including world leaders, with access to young women and children in their teens.

Epstein died in jail, while Maxwell is still in custody. This brought about a discussion with the podcast panel including Krista DeBoer, Elizabeth Alderson, Claudia Pahls and Dan Moyle.

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If you need resources or help in any way, call our 24 hour hotline at 800-828-2023 or visit www.DASASMI.org.

Subscribe for a new episode each week. We publish every Wednesday morning at 8:00am. Subscribe to the weekly email newsletter here or at our website here.

We appreciate your help in spreading the message of hope. You can help us reach more listeners by leaving a written review on Apple Podcasts or where you listen, and by sharing on social media.

A survivor of abuse, Tiauna has turned tragedy into triumph. She's a successful coach, she's finding continuous healing and she's exploring new challenges. Recently she took a songwriting class. The end assignment was to write a song. So she did, performing it on Facebook for the world to hear.

"Rewind" tells the story of her abusive relationship and hits the heart. Listen to her conversation with Dan about the healing power of music and more, plus catch the full song at the end of the episode.

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If you need resources or help in any way, call our 24 hour hotline at 800-828-2023 or visit www.DASASMI.org.

Subscribe for a new episode each week. We publish every Wednesday morning at 8:00am. Subscribe to the weekly email newsletter here or at our website here.

We appreciate your help in spreading the message of hope. You can help us reach more listeners by leaving a written review on Apple Podcasts or where you listen, and by sharing on social media.

In this episode DASAS Sexual Assault Therapist Krista DeBoer unpacks the documentary Athlete A. Krista was also a gymnast for several years.

Athlete A is a 2020 American documentary film directed by Bonni Cohen and Jon Shenk. The documentary follows a team of investigative journalists from The Indianapolis Star as they broke the story of doctor Larry Nassar assaulting young female gymnasts. It was released on June 24, 2020, by Netflix.

For a look at the larger subject of sexual abuse in sports, including red flags for parents to watch out for, listen to our previous episodes where we tackle this difficult subject:

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If you need resources or help in any way, call our 24 hour hotline at 800-828-2023 or visit www.DASASMI.org.

Subscribe for a new episode each week. We publish every Wednesday morning at 8:00am. Subscribe to the weekly email newsletter here or at our website here.

We appreciate your help in spreading the message of hope. You can help us reach more listeners by leaving a written review on Apple Podcasts or where you listen, and by sharing on social media.