Intimacy After Infidelity | Cut Contact, Rebuild Trust, Shed Shame, Avoid Divorce, Forgiveness for Adultery

By Kristina Joy | Affair Recovery Coach, Spiritual Healing, Emotional HealingSociety & Culture Health & Fitness Religion & Spirituality Christianity Relationships Sexuality

Intimacy After Infidelity | Cut Contact, Rebuild Trust, Shed Shame, Avoid Divorce, Forgiveness for Adultery episodes

September 17156 | What The Wife’s Betrayal Did to Her Husband's Body with GUEST Mike Moulton
⚠️ Content note: Mike shares that in the hours after discovering the affair, he thought about ending his life. He's years past that now, but we want you to know before you press play.
What is my husband actually going through? What does he need that he isn't saying? And what is all of this doing to his body?
Today's guest works on the other side of our story, and I asked him here on purpose.
Mike Moulton coaches men through betrayal and the decisions that follow. In February 2020 he found out his wife was having an affair. Four weeks later the pandemic cost him the job he'd just started. He stayed in his marriage for eighteen months. And seven months after the divorce finalized, he had a near-fatal heart attack.
We explore:
What eighteen months of high cortisol did to him, 25 pounds lost, cigarettes that "became my friends," and a son who said "Dad, I just want you back"
Why sex became about proving his manhood instead of intimacy
How his journey uncovered that his relationship with his father (not the affair) was the core trauma underneath everything
What his heart actually needed during that time- and how it’s the exact answer the women in my community give too
Connect with Mike:
🌐 brilliantlifecollective.com
🎙 The Brilliant Life Podcast on YouTube
Email me and tell me what surprised you. And if you think Mike might be a resource for your husband, reach out! I'm happy to make that connection.
If you're struggling with thoughts of suicide, call or text 988 in the US. Please don't carry that alone.
Let's Connect:
📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough
💌 Email: [email protected]
49 min
September 15155 | Am I Too Far Into This or Too Far Past It? Who the Encounter Retreat Is Actually For
🌊 A few seats left. Email me RETREAT and let's chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭)
Ten days from now, a group of women will walk into a beach house in Florida, and today I'm telling you who's coming, what we're doing there, and the one thing every woman who said yes has in common.
We cover:
Who’s coming: women weeks out from ending an affair and women years removed, women rebuilding their marriages, women separated, women divorced, women hearing from God clearly and women sitting in silence
What we're doing: carving out real time to hear from God, seeking Him with our whole being, and learning to hold grief and joy at the same time
The Encounter Retreat is September 25–27 in Panama City Beach, Florida. A few seats left.
Email me the word RETREAT and let's talk. And even if it's a no, email me and tell me what your next step is in this season! I’d love to cheer you on!
Let's Connect:
📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough
💌 Email: [email protected]
13 min
September 10154 | He Cheated for 15 Years: GUEST Lora Cheadle on What Accountability Looks Like & How She Rebuilt Life And Marriage
🌊 Curious about the Encounter Retreat? Only a few seats left. Email me RETREAT and let's chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭)
What does real accountability actually look like? What did he do that made staying possible? And how long does rebuilding trust really take?
Twenty-three years into her marriage, Lora Cheadle found out her husband had been unfaithful for fifteen years with five different women. Everything she believed about her life turned out not to be true, and she had to rebuild her identity from the ground up.
She stayed. They did the work. And today she's telling you what actually made that possible, from her side of the story.
Lora is an attorney, TEDx speaker, certified clinical hypnotherapist, and somatic attachment therapist. She's the author of FLAUNT! and It's Not Burnout, It's Betrayal, and she hosts the podcast FLAUNT! Create a Life You Love After Infidelity or Betrayal.
We explore:
"Betrayal uncovers the truth, not just about what somebody else did, but about all the ways you betrayed yourself"
Why vulnerability starts the whole cascade of trust
What he did in the early weeks that mattered most
Trust vs. trustworthy: why "do you trust him?" is the wrong question
An honest conversation about physical intimacy
Revealing yourself vs. being exposed
Connect with Lora:
🎙 Podcast: FLAUNT! Create a Life You Love After Infidelity or Betrayal
🌐 loracheadle.com
📖 Free Betrayal Recovery Guide: betrayalrecoveryguide.com

Email me and tell me what landed! I read every single one and I write back.
Let's Connect:
📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough
💌 Email: [email protected]
30 min
September 08153 | Why Do I Still Feel Guilty After My Affair? Guilt Still Lives in Your Body
🌊 Curious about the Encounter Retreat? Only a few seats left! Email me RETREAT and let's chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭)
I've confessed. I've repented. I've even forgiven myself. So why do I still feel guilty?
Because guilt keeps sending a bill long after the debt is paid, and it doesn't argue with your theology. It just quietly runs your life.
Today I'm getting specific about what guilt was making me do that I didn't recognize as guilt at the time: believing I was disqualified from serving, making myself small, and saying yes to everything my husband asked because I thought I owed him.
We explore:
Conviction, guilt, and shame- three different things that get tangled, and why guilt is a fork in the road rather than the enemy
The bills I was still paying, and how a life built on debt produces compliance instead of love
Colossians 2:14 and what it means that the record of debt was canceled, not reduced
How to find where guilt is actually living in your body
A practice: locate it, get curious about it, and invite the Holy Spirit to meet that part of you
Why confession is tied to healing, not just forgiveness
Your one step: find where guilt lives in your body. Ask the Holy Spirit what He wants to say to that part of you. Then wait.
And if something comes up that you need to say out loud to another human, email me! Let's get you out of the guilt storm.
Let's Connect:
📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough
💌 Email: [email protected]
22 min
September 03152 | I Sat in Church for Years With No One to Tell: How I Showed Up Differently After My Affair
🌊 Curious about the Encounter Retreat? Five seats left. Email me RETREAT and let's chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭)
Can I go back to church after this? Do I have to tell anyone? What if my church wouldn't handle it well?
There's a specific kind of hard in sitting through a service carrying something nobody in the room knows about. Standing while the music plays, wondering if you have any right to sing the words.
I sat in that for years. Today I'm telling you what finally changed, and the one thing that has to be true before going back actually works.
We explore:
The church where I went through the women by name and couldn't tell a single one
Why "I never doubted God's forgiveness" and "I was terrified of people's opinions" are both true and not the same thing
The one thing that has to be true: not everyone has to know, but someone there does
The four markers that made my pastor and his wife safe, and why "won't rush me" matters as much as "won't condemn me"
An honest word if your church genuinely isn't safe, and the two possibilities worth asking God about
Why you're not a liability in that room
Your one step: name one person at your church who might be safe. You don't have to tell her. Just name her.
Let's Connect:
📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough
💌 Email: [email protected]
19 min
September 01151 | Why Does My Body React Before My Mind Catches Up? What Happens In Your Body When You're Triggered
🌊 Curious about the Encounter Retreat? Five seats left. Email me RETREAT and let's chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭)
Why does my body react before I even know why? Why can't I control this? Shouldn't my faith be enough?
Today I'm telling you about the night I stood in the rain knocking on a door nobody was answering, knowing exactly how irrational it looked and being completely unable to stop.
Here's what was actually happening: sensory information hits your amygdala about half a second before it reaches the thinking part of your brain. Your body makes the call first. Your mind arrives second and builds a story to explain what already happened.
That's not a spiritual failure. That's the equipment God gave you.
We explore:
The half-second gap between your body's decision and your mind's explanation
Why the same system that keeps you alive in real danger fires when his name shows up on a screen
The honest answer to "why isn't Jesus enough?"
Orienting: a somatic body tool you can use the moment you feel the spike
Your one step: next time you're triggered, name what your body did before you judge what you felt. Then look around the room.
Let's Connect:
📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough
💌 Email: [email protected]
20 min
August 27150 | Someone Is Praying for You: The Prayers I'm Bringing Into This Season for Every Woman Healing After an Affair
One hundred and fifty episodes. 🎉
No framework today. No five steps. Today I'm simply telling you what I've been praying, over the Encounter Retreat coming in four weeks, and over you.
I share where my mind keeps landing as I've sat with the word encounter: Moses and the burning bush, and the moment that changed everything. Because there is no way to encounter the living God and come back unchanged. The woman at the well didn't. The woman caught in adultery didn't. Peter didn't. And Jesus didn't telephone down from heaven. He came and walked with us. Presence was the whole method.
We explore:
Why I named it the Encounter Retreat
The actual, unpolished prayers I'm praying over this weekend- for courage, for obstacles to be removed, for strongholds to break
My own honest fears about building this, and what I keep coming back to
And then my heart and what I'm praying for you: chains breaking, shame dismantled, wisdom for your real decisions, and a God who keeps calling His daughters home
Sometimes the most powerful thing that happens to a woman is finding out someone has been praying for her without her knowing. So now you know.
🌊 Email me RETREAT and let’s talk! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Coaching Community for free! 🤭)
And if a retreat isn't your season, email me anyway and tell me what you'd want me to pray for. I read every one, and I'll actually pray it.
Let's Connect:
📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough
💌 Email: [email protected]
17 min
August 25149 | Can I Be Close Friends With People Who Don't Know About My Affair? The Difference Between Secrecy and Privacy
🌊 Curious about the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭)
Can I really be close to someone who doesn't know? Am I being fake by not telling her? Who actually needs to know, and who doesn't?
A client asked me this recently and I haven't stopped thinking about it. She said it feels like there's a huge part of her she's keeping hidden, and it's not a small part, it's the thing that changed everything. So how is she supposed to be genuinely close to anyone?
Today I answer that honestly, including the part of the answer that isn't comfortable.
We explore:
The difference between secrecy and privacy (one runs on shame, the other is a boundary you choose)
Who I told, who I didn't, who didn't know for years, and what those relationships actually felt like
The honest answer about whether a best friendship can survive intentional withholding
Why the standard isn't "tell everyone." It's "tell someone."
This week, name one relationship where you want more closeness, and one true thing you could share this week that isn't the whole story.
Let's Connect:
📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough
💌 Email: [email protected]
20 min
August 20148 | Shame Sounds Identical From The Betrayer And The Betrayed: Rebuilding Identity After An Affair with Lauren LaRusso
🌊 Curious about the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭)
Why don't I know who I am anymore? Why does the shame feel this specific? And what does it actually take to let go?
Today I'm joined by Lauren LaRusso, licensed psychotherapist, author of Beyond Infidelity, and someone who has walked through her own betrayal and sat with hundreds of clients in the aftermath of theirs. Her practice sees every side of this: betrayed spouses, unfaithful spouses, and affair partners.
And she said something in this conversation I haven't stopped thinking about: shame sounds identical on both sides of the story. We read one of her own journal entries from her worst season, and it's almost word for word what the women I coach say to me.
We explore:
The "looking glass self"- why most of us build identity on who we think others perceive us to be, and what happens when that mirror shatters
Control as the centerpiece of an active affair and my own moment of realizing I couldn't manage the outcome of my confession
What shame actually is, where it originates, and the step-by-step practice for releasing it
Why meditation and mindfulness aren't optional
The difference between needing someone and wanting them, and why finding your whole self comes first
Whether you're rebuilding your marriage or you're not, this conversation is about identity, control, and what's waiting on the other side.
Connect with Lauren:
📖 Beyond Infidelity: available everywhere books are sold
🌐 laurenlarusso.com
📲 https://www.instagram.com/laurenlarusso/

Let's Connect:
📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough
💌 Email: [email protected]
Email me and tell me what landed. I read every single one and I write back.
36 min
August 18147 | If a Habit Doesn't Exist in Constraint, It Won't Appear in Freedom
🌊 Curious about the Encounter Retreat? Email me RETREAT and let’s chat! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Community for free! 🤭)
Why can't I stick to anything? I'll finally get around to caring for myself once life slows down…
Back in the spring I was asked about whether I'd actually follow through on a plan I'd been sitting on for months. I answered honestly: probably not, but it'll be easier when my schedule opens up.
The response reframed everything: if a habit doesn't exist in constraint, it usually doesn't appear in freedom.
I didn't have a scheduling problem. I had a self-trust problem, wrapped in a very reasonable story about the calendar.
We explore:
Why more margin doesn't produce the habit, and what actually shows up instead
Pete Scazzero's Rule of Life and the trellis image that changed how I think about structure (From his book Emotionally Healthy Spirituality)
My own rule and how genuinely small it was: two minutes of silence, one Psalm, one short walk, water and sleep
Why freedom with no limits isn't freedom
Start with who you want to be this year, and let the habits follow
Your one step: name one constraint this week that could create more freedom for you. Then email me and tell me what you picked.
Let's Connect:
📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough
💌 Email: [email protected]
21 min

About Intimacy After Infidelity | Cut Contact, Rebuild Trust, Shed Shame, Avoid Divorce, Forgiveness for Adultery

From the publisher's feed

The go-to podcast for Christian women who are ready to heal their hearts, shed their shame, and come home to freedom in Christ.
Ranked Top 2% Globally

Do you ever wish someone would truly see you, not look past you or through you?
Are you lying awake at night wondering if your marriage can survive infidelity...or if it’s time to let go?
Are you exhausted from Googling answers, trying to fix things, and still feeling unheard, unseen, and stuck in shame

You’re not alone. And you’re in the right place.

This podcast is a sacred, steady space for women navigating betrayal, emotional disconnection, separation, or the aftermath of an affair, who want more than surface-level faith answers. Here, we talk honestly about the heart, the body, the soul, and the brain, and what it actually looks like to let Jesus heal what’s been wounded.

I’m so glad you’re here.

I’m Kristina Joy, forgiven daughter of Jesus, mom, and coach. For years, I tried to break free from my own infidelity through sheer willpower, "doing more," and striving to be better. I read my Bible more. I tried to behave my way into freedom. None of it worked.

Everything changed when I stopped trying to fix myself and allowed Jesus to meet me in the deeper places like my pain, my patterns, my unmet needs. Through prayer, research, embodied healing practices, and new rhythms of truth and grace, I discovered real freedom. Not just from the affair, but from shame, secrecy, and self-abandonment.

On this podcast, you’ll find:

A reminder that your dignity, worth, and identity are not up for debate

Emotional and nervous-system awareness for real transformation

Coaching guidance for clarity, boundaries, communication, and trust

Gentle truth for women deciding what restoration actually means for them

Whether your marriage is being rebuilt or released, you are allowed to heal. You are allowed to choose freedom. You are allowed to become whole.

If you’re ready to:
Stop living in secrecy and self-condemnation
Experience God’s love without fear or striving
Break familiar patterns for good
Live with clarity, strength, dignity, and peace

Then take a breath, find your safe space, and press play.
This is where healing begins and where you come home to yourself, with Jesus.

---

Let’s Connect:

📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough

💌 Email: [email protected]

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Intimacy After Infidelity | Cut Contact, Rebuild Trust, Shed Shame, Avoid Divorce, Forgiveness for Adultery

Intimacy After Infidelity | Cut Contact, Rebuild Trust, Shed Shame, Avoid Divorce, Forgiveness for Adultery episodes

About Intimacy After Infidelity | Cut Contact, Rebuild Trust, Shed Shame, Avoid Divorce, Forgiveness for Adultery

Best of Intimacy After Infidelity | Cut Contact, Rebuild Trust, Shed Shame, Avoid Divorce, Forgiveness for Adultery

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