Intuitive Self: IFS + Intuition + Spirituality with Natalie Deering

By Natalie DeeringHealth & Fitness Mental Health Education

Intuitive Self: IFS + Intuition + Spirituality with Natalie Deering episodes

October 30Healing Trauma Through EMDR, IFS, and the Power of Relationship, with Crystal Whitlow
What is trauma, really? How does it impact our brains, bodies, and nervous systems? And how can Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) work together to support healing?
In this episode I welcome Crystal Whitlow, licensed clinical social worker, Certified IFS Therapist, IFS Institute Approved Clinical Consultant, and EMDR trainer, for a thoughtful and insightful conversation about trauma and the many pathways to healing.
Crystal shares pieces of her own trauma history and healing journey, offering a personal perspective on the importance of doing our own inner work, especially as therapists and healers.
Together, we explore what trauma actually is, why it's more than simply experiencing discomfort, and why the distinction between "Big T" and "little t" trauma can be both helpful and limiting. We discuss why some people develop PTSD while others don't, what happens in the brain and body following traumatic experiences, and how IFS and EMDR can support the healing process.
Crystal also introduces IFS-informed EMDR, exploring how these two powerful approaches complement one another. We discuss the role of resourcing, the benefits of bilateral stimulation, and how bilateral stimulation can be thoughtfully integrated into IFS parts work.
Throughout the conversation, one important theme emerges: trauma healing happens in relationship. Whether through the therapeutic relationship, our relationships with our parts, or our connection with others in our lives, healing doesn't have to happen alone.

In this episode, we explore:
What trauma is and why it's more than discomfort
Trauma as a spectrum and the complexities of "Big T" versus "little t" trauma
Why some individuals develop PTSD while others don't
How trauma impacts the brain, body, and nervous system
Crystal's personal experiences with trauma and healing
Why therapists need their own therapists and ongoing inner work
How IFS and EMDR support trauma healing
What IFS-informed EMDR looks like in practice
The question of resourcing: when is it helpful, and when might it not be necessary?
The benefits of bilateral stimulation and how it can be integrated with IFS
Why relationship and connection are essential to trauma healing

About Crystal Whitlow
Crystal Whitlow is a licensed clinical social worker and owner of Open Mind, LLC, a private practice in South Bend, Indiana. Since 2015, she has been a trainer with EMDR Consulting, LLC, teaching EMDR to clinicians and offering advanced workshops and consultation.
Crystal is a Certified Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapist and IFS Institute Approved Clinical Consultant. Through the Syzygy Institute, she teaches clinicians how to integrate IFS and EMDR.
She is also a contributing author to IFS-Informed EMDR: Creative and Collaborative Approaches, edited by David Polidi, with a chapter titled "Integrating Knipe's EMDR Toolbox Skills to Enrich Your IFS Practice."
Additionally, Crystal is certified in Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy.

Connect with Crystal:
www.crystalwhitlow.com
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✨ IFS + Intuition + Spirituality Consultation Group
Interested in exploring the intersection of IFS, intuition, and spirituality alongside other IFS-trained providers? This consultation group is an intimate, ongoing consultation group limited to just four participants.
The group is currently full, but I’m creating a waitlist for anyone interested in joining when a space becomes available. We explore topics such as intuition and the clairs, guides and ancestors, spirituality, transpersonal experiences, discernment, and bringing these experiences into IFS work with curiosity and care.
If you’ve completed IFS Level 1 and would like to be added to the waitlist, please reach out to me at my website. I’ll contact those on the waitlist as openings become available!

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Want to work with Natalie for Intuitive Parts-IFS Therapy or Spiritual-IFS Consultation? Contact her below
Website: https://www.ndwellnessservices.com/
Contact: https://www.ndwellnessservices.com/contact
Instagram: @nataliedeering
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Help Support the Podcast by Donating Here!

You can also support the podcast by following, rating, and leaving a review!
59 min
October 05IFS + Human Design: A Map to Your Parts and Authentic Self, with Caitlan Siegenthaler
What if your Human Design chart could offer a map to both your authentic Self and the parts of you that have learned to adapt and protect?
In this episode of Intuitive Self, I’m joined by Caitlan Siegenthaler, an IFS-trained therapist and Human Design Guide, to explore the intersection of Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Human Design. We discuss how Human Design can deepen self-understanding and serve as a powerful tool for identifying parts, accessing Self-energy, and cultivating greater compassion for ourselves and others.

In this episode, we explore:
Caitlan’s journey to Human Design and how it became part of her work
What Human Design is and how Caitlan understands it as a blueprint for our authentic Self
The five different Human Design energy types
Human Design as a guide to understanding our energy and life purpose
How Human Design can offer a map to our parts
Using Human Design alongside IFS for part-finding
The relationship between the Human Design body map and Self-energy
How understanding our design can cultivate self-validation and self-compassion
Using Human Design to develop greater compassion and understanding for other people
How IFS and Human Design together can help us become curious about the difference between our authentic nature and protective patterns

About Caitlan Siegenthaler
Caitlan Siegenthaler is an IFS-trained therapist, Human Design Guide, and host of The Expansive Therapist podcast. Her work explores what becomes possible when therapists and healers move beyond traditional healing models and learn to trust their own intuition, inner authority, and unique ways of working.
Through the intersection of IFS, Human Design, and business mentorship, Caitlan helps therapists expand both themselves and their work—creatively, financially, spiritually, and soulfully.

Connect with Caitlan
Caitlan Siegenthaler’s website
The Expansive Therapist podcast
Caitlan on Instagram
Caitlan on Substack

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✨ IFS + Intuition + Spirituality Consultation Group
Interested in exploring the intersection of IFS, intuition, and spirituality alongside other IFS-trained providers? My IFS & Intuition Consultation Group: A Spiritual Lens for IFS Providers is an intimate, ongoing consultation group limited to just four participants.
The group is currently full, but I’m creating a waitlist for anyone interested in joining when a space becomes available. We explore topics such as intuition and the clairs, guides and ancestors, spirituality, transpersonal experiences, discernment, and bringing these experiences into IFS work with curiosity and care.
If you’ve completed IFS Level 1 and would like to be added to the waitlist, please reach out to me at my website. I’ll contact those on the waitlist as openings become available.

________________________________

Want to work with Natalie for Intuitive Parts-IFS Therapy or Spiritual-IFS Consultation? Contact her below
Website: https://www.ndwellnessservices.com/
Contact: https://www.ndwellnessservices.com/contact
Instagram: @nataliedeering
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Help Support the Podcast by Donating Here!

You can also support the podcast by following, rating, and leaving a review!
59 min
September 14 Men, Shame, and IFS: A Personal Conversation with Trevor Bird
What happens when shame becomes part of how we see ourselves—and what changes when we begin meeting it with compassion?
In this episode I am joined by Executive Coach and certified IFS Practitioner Trevor Bird for an honest conversation about shame, masculinity, vulnerability, and IFS.
Trevor shares his own story of shame, including how it fueled the managing parts that helped him find success in the restaurant industry. He also opens up about his strained relationship with his father, the shame his father carried, and how it impacted their relationship.

Together We Explore:
• Common ways shame shows up for men
• Toxic masculinity and the cultural burdens of masculinity
• Healthy shame vs. toxic shame
• Why we are not our mistakes—and how we can move through shame
• The power of compassion for shame-carrying parts
• The myth of male vulnerability

About Trevor Bird
Trevor Bird is an Executive Coach, certified IFS Practitioner, and founder of Making Sense of Inner Conflict. He helps people understand experiences like freezing up, shutting down, and blowing up—not as character flaws, but as parts of ourselves we can learn about and build relationships with.
Through 1:1 coaching, courses, men’s groups, and his work as co-founder of the Inner World Collective, Trevor helps people move from inner conflict toward greater groundedness, connection, and Self-leadership.

Learn more about Trevor:
www.trevorbird.com

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Want to work with Natalie for Intuitive Parts-IFS Therapy or Spiritual-IFS Consultation? Contact her below
Website: https://www.ndwellnessservices.com/
Contact: https://www.ndwellnessservices.com/contact
Instagram: @nataliedeering
_____________________________

Help Support the Podcast by Donating Here!

You can also support the podcast by following, rating, and leaving a review!

59 min
September 01Calling Ourselves Back Home: The Spiritual and Energetic Lens of IFS, with Kay Gardner
In this episode, I sit down with Kay Gardner, one of the original “mothers” of Internal Family Systems (IFS), to discuss her new book, Calling Ourselves Back Home: The Spiritual and Energetic Lens of IFS.
Kay shares her journey with IFS and what it has been like to finally take the “lid” off the spiritual and intuitive aspects of her work. We explore legacy and cultural burdens, the historical oppression of the divine feminine, and how these burdens can impact our ability to trust and express our intuition.
We also talk about the power of imagination, reconnecting with our innate intuitive nature, and what it means to remember the spirituality that has always been within us.
Kay and I dive into guides—what they are, how we might notice them, and how they can support our journey. And in a fun and unexpected moment, we discover that Kay and I share a guide!

In This Episode:
Kay’s origin story with IFS
Legacy and cultural burdens
The divine feminine, intuition, and imagination
Reclaiming our intuitive and spiritual nature
The cultural fear of speaking our intuitive knowing aloud
Connecting with guides and noticing their presence
Kay’s new book, Calling Ourselves Back Home

Connect with Kay: Website
Book: Calling Ourselves Back Home: The Spiritual and Energetic Lens of IFS

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✨ NEW THIS FALL: IFS + INTUITION + SPIRITUALITY CONSULTATION GROUP ✨
I’m offering a monthly consultation group for IFS providers who are curious about exploring the spiritual and intuitive dimensions of IFS work—both within our own inner work and with our clients.

Topics May Include:

✨ Intuition & the 6 Clairs
✨ Connecting with Spirit, guides & guardian angels
✨ Ancestors
✨ Past lives
✨ Unattached burdens
✨ Spiritual experiences that arise through parts work
✨ How intuition may weave into our work with clients
✨ How we discern intuitive information from parts, projections, or other experiences

My hope is that this becomes a space where we can be curious, open, grounded, and discerning—without feeling like we have to have all the answers.

Details:

🌙 For IFS providers who have completed Level 1 training. Does NOT count towards IFS certification.
🌙 Meets once a month on Thursdays via Zoom
🌙 1:00–2:30 PM EST
🌙 $125 per person/per session
🌙 Limited to 4 participants

Potential start date is September 24th or October 8th!

Interested or ready to sign up? Use this link to contact me!

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Want to work with Natalie for Intuitive Parts/IFS Therapy or Spiritual/IFS Consultation? Contact her below
Website: https://www.ndwellnessservices.com/
Contact: https://www.ndwellnessservices.com/contact
Instagram: @nataliedeering
_____________________________

Help Support the Podcast by Donating Here!

You can also support the podcast by following, rating, and leaving a review!
1 hr 4 min
August 17When The Body Says Slow Down: EMDR, IFS & the Healing Power of Rest, with Hannah Smith
What happens when your body forces you to slow down?
In this episode, I sit down with therapist Hannah Smith for a deeply honest conversation about her unexpected experience with three strokes—and the profound personal and professional lessons that emerged from her healing journey.
Hannah shares what the experience taught her about the costs of striving and productivity culture, the importance of listening to our bodies, accepting help, and allowing ourselves to rest. We also talk about the incredible support she received from her physical therapist and how community became an essential part of her healing.
As an EMDR- and IFS-informed therapist specializing in women's mental health, Hannah also shares how volunteering during an EMDR training unexpectedly shifted the trajectory of her healing and how integrating EMDR and IFS supported her recovery.
Together, we explore what it means for therapists to do their own inner work, recognize when we're overriding our needs, and create more space for rest, connection, and nervous-system regulation.
In This Episode We Explore:
Hannah's experience of having three strokes and the unexpected impact on her life
The silver lining of being forced to slow down
Productivity and striving culture—and the pressure to always be doing more
Learning to listen to the body and recognize our needs
The importance of rest and downtime for the nervous system
Letting go of the belief that we have to do everything ourselves
The healing power of accepting help and community
The unexpected role of an EMDR training in Hannah's healing
How EMDR and IFS worked together in her recovery
Why therapists need to prioritize their own inner work
Lessons Hannah learned personally and professionally through her experience
Creating a life that allows for more rest, support, and authenticity
About Hannah Smith
Hannah Smith is a Cincinnati-area therapist specializing in women's mental health. She is an EMDR- and IFS-informed therapist who offers weekly and intensive EMDR therapy, helping clients reconnect with themselves and become more authentic and joyful versions of themselves. Hannah is also the co-host of Hysterical Women, a podcast exploring women's mental health crises and how they are portrayed and treated in the media.

Ways to Connect
Website: https://hannahsmithcounseling.net/
Instagram: @hannahsmith.counseling
Podcast: Hysterical Women

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Want to work with Natalie for Intuitive Parts/IFS Therapy or Spiritual/IFS Consultation? Contact her below
Website: https://www.ndwellnessservices.com/
Contact: https://www.ndwellnessservices.com/contact
Instagram: @nataliedeering
_____________________________

Help Support the Podcast by Donating Here!

You can also support the podcast by following, rating, and leaving a review!
52 min
July 29Turn Towards Your Anxiety: A Conversation with John Clarke
Is anxiety something to overcome—or could it be inviting us into a deeper relationship with ourselves?
In this episode of The Intuitive Self Podcast, I sit down with trauma therapist John Clarke to explore anxiety through the lenses of Internal Family Systems (IFS), nervous system awareness, and trauma healing. Together, we discuss why anxiety is unique to each person, the burdens it often carries, and how approaching it with curiosity and compassion can lead to profound healing. We also explore perfectionism, shame, masking, supporting others with anxiety, and how to discern the difference between fear and intuition.
In This Episode We Explore:
Why anxiety is different for everyone
The nervous system's role in anxiety
Common burdens such as "I'm not enough"
Perfectionism, shame, and masking
Why anxiety isn't something to eliminate
How to support someone experiencing anxiety
The connection between anxiety, intuition, and Self-energy
Practical steps for turning toward anxiety with compassion
About John Clarke
John Clarke is a trauma therapist, Clinical Director of Calm Again Counseling in San Francisco, host of the Going Inside podcast, and founder of Pathways to Self, a clinical consultation community for trauma therapists. With more than 13 years of experience and advanced training in Internal Family Systems (IFS), EMDR, and Somatic Experiencing, John is passionate about making trauma therapy more accessible while helping therapists build sustainable practices that support both their clients and themselves.
Connect with John
Website: https://www.johnclarketherapy.com/
Instagram: @johnclarketherapy
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@John-Clarke-Therapy

If this conversation resonates with you, share it with someone who may be struggling with anxiety or searching for a more compassionate way to understand it. As always, thank you for listening and for continuing the courageous journey of turning toward all parts of yourself with curiosity, compassion, and Self-leadership!
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Want to work with Natalie for Intuitive Parts/IFS Therapy or Spiritual/IFS Consultation? Contact her below
Website: https://www.ndwellnessservices.com/
Contact: https://www.ndwellnessservices.com/contact
Instagram: @nataliedeering
_____________________________

Help Support the Podcast by Donating Here!

You can also support the podcast by following, rating, and leaving a review!
1 hr
July 02 Healing Your Relationship with Food Through IFS + Intuitive Eating with Dr. Kim Daniels
What if your relationship with food isn’t about willpower… but about the parts of you that have learned to use food as protection, comfort, control, or survival?
In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Kim Daniels, Clinical Psychologist, Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapist, Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor, and author of Heal Your Love-Hate Relationship with Food: An Intuitive Eating and Internal Family Systems Workbook, for a powerful conversation about healing our relationship with food by understanding the inner system driving our eating behaviors.
Together, we explore how diet culture and societal messaging deeply shape our beliefs around food, body image, and worthiness — often creating polarized parts that keep us stuck in cycles of shame, restriction, emotional eating, and disconnection from our bodies. Dr. Kim shares what inspired her to write her new workbook and how combining IFS with intuitive eating offers a compassionate path toward true healing.
We also dive into the critical role of Self-energy in helping us build trust with eating parts, why traditional approaches to food often overlook the emotional and protective functions behind our behaviors, and how parts work can help us move from a love-hate relationship with food into greater freedom, connection, and self-compassion.
In This Episode We Explore:
• Dr. Kim’s inspiration behind writing Heal Your Love-Hate Relationship with Food
• The impact of diet culture and societal messaging around food and body image
• Understanding eating disorders through the lens of Internal Family Systems
• How protective parts influence our eating behaviors and relationship with food
• The role of Self-energy in healing food-related struggles
• Why intuitive eating and parts work are powerful when integrated together
• Moving beyond shame and toward healing your relationship with food
About Dr. Kim Daniels
Dr. Kim Daniels is a Clinical Psychologist with a private practice in Hartford, Connecticut. She is a Certified, Level 2 trained Internal Family Systems therapist, an approved clinical consultant, and a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. Dr. Daniels is the author of Heal Your Love-Hate Relationship with Food: An Intuitive Eating and Internal Family Systems Workbook and host of the Emotional Eating (and Everything Else) Podcast. She specializes in working with clients struggling with food and body concerns and especially enjoys supporting fellow IFS therapists in their own personal and professional growth.
Connect with Dr. Kim Daniels
Website: https://www.drkimdaniels.com/
Book: https://www.newharbinger.com/9781648487286/heal-your-love-hate-relationship-with-food/
Podcast: https://www.drkimdaniels.com/podcast
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Want to work with Natalie for Intuitive Parts Therapy or Spiritual Consultation? Contact her below
Website: https://www.ndwellnessservices.com/
Contact: https://www.ndwellnessservices.com/contact
Instagram: @nataliedeering
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Help Support the Podcast by Donating Here!

You can also support the podcast by following, rating, and leaving a review!
1 hr 5 min
June 15 Quieting the Storm Within: A Conversation with Ashley Booth
In this episode, I’m joined by J. Ashley T. Booth for a fascinating conversation about her unconventional journey from studying oceanography to becoming deeply immersed in the worlds of Internal Family Systems, psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy, and consciousness exploration.
We also explore her beautiful book, Quieting the Storm Within — a visually engaging and accessible introduction to IFS for both teens and adults. Together, we discuss the power of visual learning in healing, why curiosity and compassion are central to inner work, and how Ashley is helping make parts work more approachable through creativity, metaphor, and a fresh language for understanding our internal system.

In this episode, we discuss:
• Ashley’s life transition from oceanography to the healing world of IFS and psychedelics
• How Burning Man catalyzed a profound shift in her personal and spiritual path
• Psychedelics as a bridge from the material world into the mystical
• Quieting the Storm Within as an illustrated guide to understanding IFS for teens and adults
• The metaphor of Self as the sun and parts as the clouds passing by
• Why visual learning can be transformative, especially for individuals with dyslexia
• Interactive activities woven throughout the book to deepen self-exploration
• Helping readers cultivate curiosity and compassion toward their internal world
• How principles of Nonviolent Communication are integrated throughout the book
• Ashley’s decision to reframe protector parts as helpers, including proactive helpers and reactive helpers

About Ashley Booth
J. Ashley T. Booth, LCSW, MS, MA is an IFS therapist, educator, and former MAPS therapist specializing in psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy. With a background in mental health, integration work, and self-inquiry practices, she brings a unique and compassionate perspective to parts work. Ashley’s mission is to make IFS approachable and engaging through visual storytelling, playful metaphors, and practical tools.

Connect with Ashley
Website: ashleybooth.net
Book Website: ifsandbeyond.com
Instagram: @ifsandbeyond
TikTok: @ifsandbeyond

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Want to work with Natalie? Contact her below
Website: https://www.ndwellnessservices.com/
Contact: https://www.ndwellnessservices.com/contact
Instagram: @nataliedeering
_____________________________

Help Support the Podcast by Donating Here!

You can also support the podcast by following, rating, and leaving a review!
35 min
May 18 Sensitivity, "Too Muchness", & the Field-Aware Soul with Dr. Steve Chee
What if your sensitivity was never the problem?
In this podcast episode I sit down with Dr. Steve Chee to explore sensitivity, intuition, Internal Family Systems, and what becomes possible when we stop pathologizing the parts of ourselves we’ve been taught are “too much.”
Together, we unpack the experience of being a highly sensitive person and the power of finally naming it. Dr. Steve shares insights on how sensitivity often develops within the relational field—how we learn to sense, adapt, perform, protect, and belong in response to the emotional environments around us.
We explore the important distinction between sensitivity and intuition, and how many people bury the gift of sensitivity because of family systems, cultural beliefs, or experiences of being misunderstood.
In this episode, we discuss:
- What it means to be a highly sensitive person—and the relief of naming it
- Sensitivity and the relational field
- The difference between sensitivity and intuition
- How family and cultural messages can bury sensitivity as a gift
- Feeling like you are “too much” for others
- Masking, performing, and adapting to belong
- Protective parts that temper emotion (including my own “Ice Queen” part)
- The gifts hidden beneath burdens and survival strategies
- What happens when your “too muchness” isn’t actually too much
- Field awareness and relational sensitivity
- Dr. Steve’s upcoming book, The Field-Aware Soul
Dr. Steve offers such a compassionate and paradigm-shifting perspective for sensitives, mystics, helpers, and anyone whose gifts bent toward survival before they had the chance to fully emerge.
This conversation is an invitation to wonder:
What if your sensitivity isn’t something to fix—but something to understand, honor, and reclaim?
About Dr. Steve Chee
Dr. Steve Chee is an Integrative East–West Physician and Certified IFS Therapist, most recently the creator of the IFS Institute’s Continuity Program, The Sacred Nervous System, and originator of The Field-Aware Soul Ecology—a relational framework for people whose sensitivity arrived early and became recruited into caretaking, performing, and belonging at a cost.
His work centers around a powerful question:
What if field sensitivity isn’t a wound to heal, but a relational capacity waiting to be met?
He works with sensitives, mystics, and those who were told they were “too much”—helping people reclaim gifts that once bent toward survival and transform them into deeper connection, authenticity, and belonging.
Learn more: https://drstevechee.com/

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Want to work with Natalie? Contact her below
Website: https://www.ndwellnessservices.com/
Contact: https://www.ndwellnessservices.com/contact
Instagram: @nataliedeering
_____________________________

Help Support the Podcast by Donating Here!

You can also support the podcast by following, rating, and leaving a review!
49 min
April 23Self-Trust, Intuition & Inner Knowing with Andrea Tessier
In this conversation I’m joined by Andrea Tessier—self-trust coach, IFS practitioner, and author—for a rich discussion on what it truly means to trust yourself from the inside out.
We explore how self-trust is an inward-facing relationship, while confidence is often the outward expression of that trust. Andrea shares how intuition can become a practical daily guide, including her practice of asking, “What should I do today?” and learning to trust what naturally arises.
Together, we talk about the internal barriers to self-trust—the protective parts that carry fear, doubt, or hesitation—and how these “gatekeepers” can actually become allies when approached with compassion through an Internal Family Systems lens.
We also discuss:
The difference between self-trust and confidence
How protective parts can block or guard self-trust
Ways to nurture and cultivate trust in yourself over time
Practicing openness to receive intuitive guidance
How to discern between protective parts and intuitive knowing
Recognizing the unique ways intuition speaks to each of us
Why IFS can be seen as a practice of intuition
Nature as a powerful pathway back to inner knowing
The first step to strengthening your intuition
Andrea’s new book, The Self-Trust Journal
Andrea’s work is rooted in The Self-Trust Blueprint™, an IFS-informed framework that supports ambitious non-conformists standing at the threshold of something new—guiding them from self-doubt into genuine self-led living.
If you’ve been craving deeper trust in yourself, your path, or your inner voice, this episode is for you.

Connect with Andrea Tessier
Instagram: @andreatessiercoaching

Free Self-Trust Discovery Session:
https://andreatessiercoaching.as.me/Discovery

The Self-Trust Journal (Amazon):
https://a.co/d/0gZgwb9f

The Audio Experience: Nothing Is Wrong With You: For the woman at a threshold and wants to trust herself in it
https://www.andreatessier.com/nothing-is-wrong-with-you

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Want to work with Natalie? Contact her below
Website: https://www.ndwellnessservices.com/
Contact: https://www.ndwellnessservices.com/contact
Instagram: @nataliedeering
_____________________________

Help Support the Podcast by Donating Here!

You can also support the podcast by following, rating, and leaving a review!
59 min

About Intuitive Self: IFS + Intuition + Spirituality with Natalie Deering

From the publisher's feed

Intuitive Self: IFS + Intuition + Spirituality with Natalie Deering is a podcast exploring the intersection of Internal Family Systems, intuitive wisdom, and spiritual awakening.