Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

Is FAFO the End of Gentle Parenting or Just the Start of Bigger Problems?


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A viral trend called “FAFO parenting” is exploding on TikTok and even making headlines in the Wall Street Journal. Advocates say it’s the antidote to “soft” parenting — let kids fuss around and find out the hard way. But is this tough-love comeback really preparing kids for life or setting them up for harm? In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack the hype, the dangers, and the research-backed alternative every parent needs to hear.

In this episode:

  • What FAFO (“Fuss Around and Find Out”) parenting actually looks like — and why it’s trending
  • The three big claims FAFO parents make
  • Why FAFO backfires
  • The vital difference between natural consequences and manufactured hardships
  • How “need-supportive parenting” builds resilience without breaking trust

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
“Discipline isn’t about hurting kids to prove a point. It’s about problem-solving so they can discover the lesson.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

  • Wall Street Journal article on FAFO parenting (subscription required)
  • Alfie Kohn, Punished by Rewards
  • More parenting resources: happyfamilies.com.au

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

  1. Resist the temptation to outsource learning to punishment.
  2. When mistakes happen, guide your child through problem-solving instead of powerplays.
  3. Protect the parent–child relationship — resilience grows best where trust is strong.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Dr Justin Coulson's Happy FamiliesBy Dr Justin Coulson

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