I noticed when i hear something in the media about  a certain movement i want to speak up to my family.

A couples years ago i left a community  i was in since birth. I couldnt handle the rules all based (to my opinion) on fear, guild, and sin.

From that moment on my family socialy declared me death. My siblings no longer talked to me according to the rules of the community.

Sometimes i really want to speak up to them and let them know how it hurts they never contacted me again. I had some hope they come around. Becauce i never changed on a deep level. I "only" have different thoughts about life works.

But i know it will make no difference. In there eyes iam the lost one. The lost sheep.

I am sometimes stuggeling with it. I think it is acknowledgement i want from them. Being heard. Loved instead of feared. But they believe  they will be punised by God if they are socially interacting with me.

Maybe it's a mirror? Can i acknowledge it hurts me (or this mind body system) from time to time. Can i allow i choose a different pad in life and don't need permission from them to feel okay, whole.

It must be a mirror! But its SEEMS they are the problem. Out there!  This community! But i also see the flux in it becauce there are periods i don't even think about them or any of it.