Growth Marriage

Jeff And Kelly Cope


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Jeff and Kelly are two of my best friends. They were in town last week and hinted that they'd love to be interviewed for the podcast. I'm so glad I got to interview them.

One of my favorite moments in this conversation comes towards the end of the conversation. I asked the couple what they were looking forward to in the next 50 years of marriage. The entire conversation to that point had been dedicated to what they had learn, done, and accomplished together. I could see that the question took them a little off-guard.

After a moment of contemplation, Jeff looked at me and said that what he was looking forward to most was helping his wife fulfill her dreams. The first several years of their marriage had revolved so much around his goals… grad school, moving around the country pursuing several different jobs, working long hours, etc. His desire is to make the next chapter about her.

I love this for two reasons.

It shows that a relationship requires both parties to be sensitive not only to each others needs… but their desires. When was the last time you asked the person you loved what big goals they hope to achieve? More importantly, what did you do to help them do it?

It shows how important it is to grow together as a couple. If one person is consuming all of the resources and emotional energy of the couple, they are not growing together. If you are not sharing the big responsibilities of your relationship… at least a little (see: Jeff not being recognized by his kids then making it a priority to be home to help put the kids to bed) the relationship suffers.

I love Jeff and Kelly, and I hope you enjoy their episode. (Sorry I montaged the first 2 minutes, Jeff. I couldn't help it.)

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Growth MarriageBy Nate Bagley

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