Keep Talking

Randy Nesse is a psychiatrist, a professor, and the author of "Good Reasons for Bad Feelings: Insights from the Frontier of Evolutionary Psychiatry."

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(00:00) Intro

(00:40) Why low mood exists

(04:23) Giving up goals can improve your mental health

(06:48) When is it appropriate to give up goals?

(11:50) "In what situations was this emotion useful across our evolutionary history?"

(21:51) How Randy developed an evolutionary framework

(28:25) Examples of working with depression from Randy's career

(36:40) Freud, Jung, and mental illness

(49:23) Exposure therapy

(54:11) Quotes from "Good Reasons for Bad Feelings"

(59:55) Partner choice and selfish genes

Richard Wrangham is a professor at Harvard, a primatologist, and the author of multiple books including "The Goodness Paradox: The Strange Relationship Between Virtue and Violence in Human Evolution."

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(00:00) Intro

(00:50) How humans have removed alpha male bullies

(09:59) Christopher Boehm's "Hierarchy in the Forest"

(16:06) Implications of human's self-domestication through violence

(22:03) Bullying male behavior that would lead to execution

(28:45) How the threat of violence influenced our moral impulses

(34:23) Psychopathy and reactive aggression in adult men

(45:25) How can someone spot a psychopath?

(50:07) Jane Goodall and how Richard views human nature

(01:02:53) Cooking and fire

(01:03:13) Richard's views on removing the y chromosome

(01:10:39) Removing genes for extreme aggression rather than men altogether

Robert Plomin is a British-American scientist, a psychologist and behavioral geneticist, and the author of the bestselling book, "Blueprint: How DNA Makes Us Who We Are."

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(00:00) Intro

(00:53) The power of DNA in making us who we are

(03:40) Debunking the nurture-focused perspective

(10:40) Robert's views on his own genetic predisposition to weight gain

(22:59) How personalized, low-cost DNA sequencing will effect people's lives

(30:21) Clarity around genetic risk will improve with time

(31:49) The probabilistic, nuanced truth of genetic influence

(38:20) Clarifying randomness and the nurture aspect of who we are

(43:57) Identical twins

(49:36) Quotes from "Blueprint"

(58:41) A quote about child rearing from Tig Notaro

(01:02:00) How genetic truths can make people more compassionate

(01:04:52) Merging evolution and psychology

(01:15:23) How should society evolve and improve because of these truths?

(01:18:23) B.F. Skinner and the power of nature in the extremes

Brian Hare is a professor of evolutionary anthropology at Duke University and is the co-author of the book "Survival of the Friendliest: Understanding Our Origins and Rediscovering Our Common Humanity."

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(00:00) Intro

(00:46) The origin and ideas of "Survival of the Friendliest"

(07:38) The story of human survival and dominance

(20:20) What is meant by "friendliness"?

(26:40) Tribal identity and darker aspects of human cooperation

(35:15) Political polarization in America

(46:12) The work of Braver Angels and overcoming political division

(52:30) Is it ever appropriate to dehumanize?

Stephen Kinzer is a historian, a Senior Fellow in International and Public Affairs at Brown University, and the author of various books including, "Poisoner in Chief: Sidney Gottlieb and the CIA Search for Mind Control."

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(00:00) Intro

(01:00) What was MK-Ultra? Who was Sidney Gottlieb?

(08:55) The U.S.'s collaboration with Nazi and Japanese torturers

(14:43) The historical context that justified MK-Ultra

(24:25) Examples of torture from the MK-Ultra program

(30:53) LSD and MK-Ultra

(39:14) The eventual conclusion from the MK-Ultra program

(43:21) Speculating on the full scope and details of the MK-Ultra program

(49:13) Stephen's ethical judgments on Gottlieb

(53:25) Has Stephen received pushback for his revelations?

(57:04) Is something like MK-Ultra happening now?

(59:47) Why do so few Americans know about MK-Ultra?

Helen Fisher was an anthropologist, a professor, an author, and was one of the world's experts on the science of love.

This is the final summer rebroadcast of 2024, episode 47 of "Keep Talking," the most-downloaded audio episode from this show. Helen sadly died on Saturday, August 17, 2024. She was charming, brilliant, and a gem of a human being, and I wanted to honor her by reposting her episode as the final summer rebroadcast of this year.

During our conversation, Helen talks about her background interest in love, the role that love plays in human existence, the evolutionary purpose of love, how the subconscious influences who we fall in love with, how to know if you aren't in love, and wisdom she would provide to improve one's probability for healthy romance and a compatible mate choice.

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(00:00) Intro

(01:05) How Helen got interested in studying love

(05:18) Trailblazing the academic study of love

(06:22) What is love?

(11:01) Love and love decisions are life's most important choices

(12:46) Understanding "love maps" and the unconscious as it relates to love

(22:15) Millennials and "slow love"

(27:56) When are you not in love? When is it time to end a relationship?

(37:58) Identifying great compatibility matches

(41:53) Mitigating the risks of neuroticism from torpedoing a relationship

(48:30) Attachment styles and compatibility

(54:46) Identifying the root cause of depression

(56:46) Ending a relationship when indifference is present

(01:08:00) Designing a lifestyle that makes you a better and authentic partner

(01:11:27) The role of marriage in human life

(01:15:30) Helen getting married in her mid-70's

Richard Reeves is a writer, a Senior Fellow at the Brookings Institution and the author of "Of Boys and Men."

This is a rebroadcast of episode 67 of "Keep Talking," one of the most important conversations from this show. Richard presents data detailing how boys and men are falling behind in education and employment, that men represent three out every four "deaths of despair," and the confusion over what is good about being a man and what it means to be a man as gender roles have significantly changed.

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(00:00) Intro

(01:06) How Richard realized men are falling behind

(04:42) The data re: men falling behind in education

(08:02) The structure of education helps women's natural abilities

(12:26) A response to the indifference of male decline

(17:06) Stories of suffering of modern men

(20:30) Men are "opting out" not "acting out"

(25:42) What would men be doing without porn and video games?

(27:19) Big stats and small stats that reveal the decline of men

(30:56) A sense of agency is crucial for men who are struggling

(37:31) Jim Hollis' work for men

(38:46) Jordan Peterson is a gigantic listening ear for men

(44:06) The Andrew Tate phenomenon

(51:31) Jordan Peterson's rage and empathy

(57:09) Divorce and its effect on men

(01:02:44) What is the evolutionary purpose of men?

(01:06:46) Children need positive relationships with their fathers; married parents less so

(01:15:39) Solutions to increase male flourishing

Kevin Kelly is a photographer, a futurist, an editor, and the author of multiple books, including "Excellent Advice for Living: Wisdom I Wish I'd Known Earlier," the subject of our conversation.

This is a rebroadcast of episode 75 of "Keep Talking," one of my favorite episodes. On his 68th birthday, Kevin wrote "68 Bits of Unsolicited Advice" for his children - an essay that went viral. He wrote two more birthday advice essays for years 69 and 70. Now, after cleaning those nuggets up and adding 150 more, he has written a treasure-trove of wisdom, created and given to the world by one of America's most perceptive thinkers.

This is my favorite kind of book, and Kevin has created a masterpiece that I will consult for the rest of my life. I highly recommend it for anyone looking to become just a little bit wiser, a little bit better, a little bit more thoughtful.

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(00:00) Intro

(00:55) Why Kevin began sharing advice

(03:21) "68 Bits of Unsolicited Advice" popularity

(05:27) 10 pieces of advice

(07:42) You are what you do

(12:00) Character is about how you deal with power

(18:55) Look back 25 years from today to decide

(22:20) The three things you need

(36:15) Cultivate 12 people who love you

(40:35) Money is to allow you to do great work

(41:51) A perfect day to Kevin Kelly

(44:15) Success and wealth

(45:46) What's the point of obtaining wisdom?

Traver Boehm is an entrepreneur, a speaker, the author of "Today I Rise" and "Man UNcivilized," and the founder of the UNcivilized Movement, "dedicated to ending the unnecessary suffering in men to end the suffering caused by men."

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00:00 Intro

00:31 How Traver got into men's work

05:40 Living as an unconscious man for 40 years

10:53 Integrity and the book "How To Be A Man" by Robert Masters

16:26 Advice for men who feel out of integrity

28:04 Asking men: what do you want?

39:32 Shame, and how men can ask for what they need

55:22 Selecting women and the importance of male tribe

01:06:52 Male isolation and how to find good men

01:13:18 Vulnerability and how much Traver has changed

Orna Donath is a professor at Tel Aviv University and is the author of the landmark book "Regretting Motherhood." During our conversation, Orna talks about the lessons from her research, her own "silent knowing" that she didn't want to be a mom, the importance of knowing oneself, and her new research of elderly, childless women in Israel. Orna also talks about the role of fear in pressuring women to become a mom, her yearly dialogue with a dozen women who are trying to decide whether to have kids, healthy models for childless women, and her interviews with childless men.

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00:00 Intro

00:36 Stories of women who have regretted having kids

05:08 What has been traumatic to women about becoming mothers?

10:04 The role of fear in pressuring women to have kids

16:41 The lack of healthy models for women without kids

23:31 Lessons from elderly, childless women

28:51 Lessons from women who are wrestling with whether to have kids

35:57 Meaning and purpose in life without kids

42:27 Quotes in praise or Orna and her work

44:18 Men who don't want to have kids

54:46 Addressing questions Orna wants to answer