I was going to talk about corneas. Just a nice, focused anatomy deep dive. But then I found out UnitedHealthcare’s stock is down 20% and—what can I say? I got distracted by joy. So before we dig into layers of corneal meat (yes, I said that), we take a little detour into vertical integration, kickbacks, AI claim denials, and how a multi-billion-dollar behemoth is finally catching a whiff of accountability. Then it’s back to business: corneal nerves, LASIK, ulcers, transplant techniques, the great “your corneas are too thin” letdown, and why you should stop sleeping in your contact lenses. Also, I may have created a dating strategy that involves casually name-dropping Descemet’s membrane. You're welcome.

Takeaways:

UnitedHealth Took a Hit—And I Took a Victory Lap.

Your Cornea Is Clear for a Reason—Until It’s Not.

LASIK Isn’t for Everyone. Here’s Why Your Eye Got Rejected.

Yes, I Called It ‘Corneal Meat.’ No, I’m Not Sorry.

Please Stop Sleeping in Your Contacts. I’m Begging.

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A friendly reminder from the G’s and Tarsus: If you want to learn more about Demodex Blepharitis, making an appointment with your eye doctor for an eyelid exam can help you know for sure. Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.EyelidCheck.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ for more information. 

Today’s episode is brought to you by DAX Copilot from Microsoft. DAX Copilot is your AI assistant for automating clinical documentation and workflows helping you be more efficient and reduce the administrative burdens that cause us to feel overwhelmed and burnt out.

To learn more about how DAX Copilot can help improve healthcare experiences for both you and your patients visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠aka.ms/knockknockhi⁠⁠⁠⁠.

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