Leadership Chemistry

I'm dropping a little truth bomb today: you're not as great of a listener as you think you are. And if you've already written me off because you know you're a great listener… chances are, you especially aren't. Studies have shown than in general, we spend more than half the time thinking about something other than what we're doing, and that includes listening. It's a tough lesson to learn, but it's one of the most foundational relationship and coaching skills. This episode is all about the power of listening, what it can do for us as coaches, and the formula you need to listen deeply and effectively.

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There's a seemingly contradictory way to see progress in our lives. When we accept ourselves exactly as we are, then we can change. Most people seek to change themselves or others through guilt trips and shame, but the number one "happy habit"—the practice that leads to greater life satisfaction and greater change—is self-compassion. It was through the compassion given to me by people in my life that I was able to find it for myself, and begin the transformation that led me to where I am today. The same principle works for our clients: when we treat them like the worthy people that they already are, they'll begin to see themselves compassionately, and make real progress.

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There is one skill you need in order to have the ultimate competitive advantage: connection. In essence, that's what this whole show is about, and it's for a good reason. Studies show time and time again that high quality connections consistently lead to behavior change. As coaches, the ability to connect to our clients is the best thing we can do to set them on the path to better results. The best news is that connection is a skill anyone can learn, including you!

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Meal plans don't work. Let me clarify: a perfectly executed meal plan can work for weight loss, but your client isn't a robot and will almost definitely fall off their plan at some point. A meal plan is a rational approach to healthy eating, but once you throw that human element into the mix, they stop being rational. If you want your clients to have real and lasting results, you have to find a way to make their eating fit their life.

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Here's something you may not know about me: I've never actually applied for a job, so I know the importance of having a good network. Knowing and being mentored the right people can open doors for you to accelerate the growth of not only your business, but your personal development as well. But there's one catch—relationships take real work to grow. Whether it's with your clients or your coaches, no one wants to feel like your interactions are transactional. If you want to make real connections and build up a solid network of people who are looking out for you, you need to take your time. You need to take care.

Related Links:

FitBizU Ep. 257: 5 Lessons from My Earliest Mentor

Take Care Radio Ep. 25: On Connections with Dr. Jade Teta

Take Care Radio Ep. 26: Living Life with Contentment

Books by Shawn Achor:

Big Potential

The Happiness Advantage

Before Happiness

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Connect with Danny!

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I'll be the first to admit, I'm not the greatest at supporting people through tough times. As life goes on the people around us, our family, friends, and clients experience some truly difficult circumstances. Divorces, deaths, job losses, accidents, and even just plain old bad days can be really tough to hold space and know the right thing to say. But life happens, shit happens! And as coaches, it matters to show up for our clients.

Related Links

14. There is No "Path to Success" with Brandon Coleman

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Sometimes coaching feels like an uphill battle. There's a complaint I hear a lot of: "my client just won't listen to me!" It's frustrating as hell, but what if we took that responsibility on as coaches, rather than blaming our clients? If you want to actually get your clients to listen, you first have to work on your own responsiveness to them. Why? Because responsiveness cultivates relationships, and those relationships is what enables us to impart real influence.

Related Links

Next Level Tribe by Dr. Jade Teta and Danny Coleman

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Have you ever been stuck? In a rut? It's hard to define what it means to be "stuck," but we all know what it feels like. It's not quite depression, but there's a feeling of meaninglessness, a craving for hope and life. It's living on auto-pilot. This is personal to me; I get "stuck" every few years, so I've developed a simple formula to help myself (and now you, too) get "unstuck."

Check out our new website for all episodes and blog posts!

takecarecoahing.com

Connect with Danny!

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Website: dannycoleman.net

There's a ton of great information about habit building out there, so why are you (and me, and everyone else) still struggling to make our habits stick? When I think back to my own life, I realized I've never actually changed a habit intentionally, and that's actually the reason why I've been able to make lasting change. Instead of changing habits, change your identity, and then the habits start to take care of themselves. Rather than trying to "eat more vegetables," think of yourself as a healthy person, and watch how you'll pick that habit up effortlessly. That's how you get your habits to stick.

Books on Habits

The Power of Habit

Atomic Habits

Tiny Habits

Other Books Mentioned

Unscripted

Dedicated

Connect with Danny!

Instagram: @itsdannycoleman

Twitter: @itsdannycoleman

Website: dannycoleman.net

'Tis the season for goal setting and resolution making, and for some reason this time of year has recently been getting a bad rap. I love this shit! We're in the business of resolutions, as as coaches it's part of our jobs to help our clients set (and reach!) their goals. Check out this episode to hear my framework for setting New Year's Resolutions and how I take this time of year to reflect.

Connect with Danny!

Instagram: @itsdannycoleman

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Website: dannycoleman.net