Leadership Chemistry

My time living in Austin is coming to an end, and I'm ready to be leaving. Texas is a great place, but when you stay in the same place and surrounded by the same people you've grown up with, you start to take on an older version of the social role you play. You see, we all tend to act in accordance with how people treat us. So if we're treated like a child, we're more than likely going to act like one, too. As coaches, it's so important to keep this in mind with how we interact with our clients. If you treat them as powerful, competent, and capable human beings they will rise to the occasion.

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I used to make the mistake of thinking that everyone was always looking at me. It didn't matter whether I was sure everyone caught my most embarrassing moments, or that everyone was checking me out at my best, I just felt like all eyes were on me. You've probably felt that way at some time or another because we're all at the center of our own universes. This phenomenon has a name: the Spotlight Effect. We may feel like people are watching us, but it's hardly ever true. Most people are so focused on themselves, they barely notice anybody else… and that's a good thing! So many people hold themselves back from doing what they really want out of a fear of judgement from others. Once you realize nobody really notices or cares what you're up to, you can start taking all the action that once scared you.

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There's a simple tool that people like legendary basketball player Lebron James, Oscar-winning actress, and even my own father, Jim Coleman, use to help them feel better, perform better, and make better decisions. It's simple, effective, and can improve your life in a handful of ways. The technique? Refer to yourself in the third person. You may think speaking of yourself as a third-party makes you self-obsessed or narcissistic, but the opposite is actually true. Studies have shown that removing yourself from the center of your own universe makes you less arrogant, more thoughtful, and decreases your daily stress responses. If you want to feel better every single day, it might be time to start trying out the Lebron Method.

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I'm on a crusade against (most) personality quizzes and typings. Humans are notoriously bad at self awareness. No one amongst us can see ourselves objectively and besides that, we aren't finished products; we're always changing. Despite my personal beef with personality typings, people do love to learn about themselves and knowing how the people you work with interact with the world can take your communication to the next level. There's a personality and communication typing that I've found a lot of utility in when it comes to coaching: points vs. waves. People who are points are direct and sharp, while the waves are more fluid and indirect. Knowing when to communicate in each style can take your coaching to the next level.

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I had a busy week filled with meetings with dozens of coaches enrolling in my sister, JillFit's, signature FBA course and more than anything else, I noticed issues of confidence—or more accurately, a lack of confidence. We tend to think that once we have confidence, we'll go and do all the things but in reality, the opposite is true. We have to do the scary things first, and confidence will follow. There are lots of different ways to improve your confidence levels, but today I'm sharing my 4 favorite methods so you can get in "the zone" more often, not just in your coaching, but all aspects of your life.

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Connect with Danny!

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As a coach, is it better to be the drill sergeant or a cheerleader? Should we be strict and stern with our clients or always be their #1 fan? It might surprise you, but research has found that the answer is actually neither—or more accurately, both. Being too harsh takes down your client's self esteem, while being too nice makes your comments seem insincere. Our jobs, as coaches, is to provide guidance, foster connection, and get results by letting our clients come to trust us. There are a few tactical things we can all do if we truly want to Take Care.

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Connect with Danny!

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Website: dannycoleman.net

When we attempt change with high hopes for a successful outcome, the results don't often look like how we wanted them to, often leading us to feel worse, both physically and emotionally. This happens all the time in fitness and nutrition coaching, and you might know this as "false-hope syndrome." Our clients hire us, hoping to make massive changes, and when things don't turn out exactly like they planned, they feel terrible, emotionally and physically, and give up before any chance for lasting change. That's when it becomes our job to promote those long-term solutions by managing client expectations.

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Connect with Danny!

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Website: dannycoleman.net

Defensiveness is a tool we use all the time to protect our feelings, our insecurities. It's normal to feel, but we should be mindful about our defensiveness, especially as coaches; getting defensive rarely has the desired effect. We won't feel any better, and it won't impart any change to the people we try to help. In this episode, I'm sharing 3 mindsets you can take on to avoid coaching on defense.

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Connect with Danny!

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Journalling is never something I cared to do in my younger years. I prefer fact and evidence-based practices, and it wasn't until recently that I learned just how much a well-directed journalling practice can help us change for the better. All of us have handfuls of stories we tell ourselves about who we are, what we do, and our place in the world. All of your behaviors will try to validate the stories you tell yourself, so why not shape those stories into positive ones? This episode has 4 journalling exercises you and your clients can practice to start changing how we all see ourselves and the world around us.

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Connect with Danny!

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Our words are powerful, and there are real world impacts of the things we say to and about ourselves every day. There are language shifts we can use that may seem inconsequential, but actually make a huge difference in how we interact with the world and the choices we make. Using the right words can help you embody the principles needed for healthy change, and if we can get our clients saying the right things, we can give them a deeper sense of internal motivation, and raise the chances of lasting behavior change.

Check out our new website for all episodes and blog posts!

takecarecoaching.com

Connect with Danny!

Instagram: @itsdannycoleman

Twitter: @itsdannycoleman

Website: dannycoleman.net