We’re back with another episode in our T&A Alphabet Series, where we explore the big topics around non-monogamy, relationships, and sex—one letter at a time. Originally broadcast as a live training in our Let’s Talk Polyamory private Facebook community, this episode is all about the letter I: I is for Insecurity and the 3 Things You Can Do to Feel More Secure.

Insecurity can show up as self-doubt, anxiety, or the sense that you're vulnerable to harm or rejection. In open or polyamorous relationships, it often feels like living on high alert—waiting for the next fire to put out.

In this episode, we dig into the connection between insecurity and jealousy, and share three key practices to help you feel more grounded and secure:

1. Introspection – exploring the roots of your jealousy and insecurity
2. Communication – both with yourself and with your partners
3. Determining remedies – identifying what you actually need to feel safer and more supported

We also explore:

• Why insecurity is often more about internal narratives than external realities
• How to tell the difference between real concerns and the stories we tell ourselves
• Ways to shift out of recurring insecurity loops
• How limiting beliefs can feed insecurity—and how to build a “positive evidence stack”
• Powerful self-reflection questions to uncover the source of your insecurity
• Examples of real remedies that have worked for us and our clients

If jealousy and insecurity are keeping you from feeling at ease in your consensually non-monogamous relationships, check out our self-paced Poly Newbies Digital Course https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiescourse or go deeper with our Open Relationship and Polyamory Mastery - https://go.taraandandre.com/polyamorymastery - program, which includes live coaching with us.

Show Resources:

• Practicing Polyamory Podcast - Asking Questions Can Change Your Life with T&A episode - https://youtu.be/lpd_5FwDRxc?si=AqagOShSzkQeTCgt
• Book a complimentary coaching consultation call with Tara at: ⁠https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue⁠
• Email André to arrange a complimentary therapy consultation at: ⁠[email protected]⁠ 
• Let’s Talk Polyamory Facebook Group & Community - ⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/letstalkpoly⁠⁠⁠

Non-monogamous relationships can offer joy, freedom, and deep connection—but they can also stir up intense emotional waves.

In honour of Mental Health Week in Canada, this heartfelt and practical episode explores what it really looks like to care for your mental health while navigating non-monogamy.

Whether you're facing overwhelm, burnout, comparison, or jealousy—or just want to feel less alone—this conversation is for you.

In this episode we cover:

• Common emotional and mental health challenges in non-monogamy
• Why you don’t have to be “fully healed” or “totally secure” to do this well
• Mental health-boosting habits: self-care, alone time, personal boundaries, check-ins, and rest
• When and how to reach out for support—and what kind of support you might need (coaching, therapy, or DIY approaches)
• How we support each other through emotionally tough times

💛 Special episode resource: Non-Monogamy and Your Mental Health: Worksheet + Action Planning Guide — a free tool to help you reflect, reset, and take practical steps toward improving your mental health and your relationships! Get it here 👇 https://worksheet.letstalkpolyamory.com/mentalhealth

This episode is your reminder: struggling doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong—it means you’re human. Seeking support is a sign of strength.

Please share this episode with someone who might need it.

If you’re considering self-harm or harming others, please reach out to a local crisis line, call 911, or go to the nearest emergency room. You are not alone.

Show Resources:

• Free Download: Non-Monogamy and Your Mental Health: Worksheet + Action Planning Guide - https://worksheet.letstalkpolyamory.com/mentalhealth. You can download and print it and fill it in or use something like PDF Guru to upload and fill it in (https://pdfguru.com/app) 

• Book a complimentary coaching consultation call with Tara at: https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue
• Email André to arrange a complimentary therapy consultation at: [email protected] 
• Let’s Talk Polyamory Facebook Group & Community - ⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/letstalkpoly⁠⁠
• Polyamory-Friendly Professionals Directory - https://www.polyfriendly.org/
• Psychology Today - Search for Therapists, Treatment Centres and Support Groups - https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/therapists - this is the Canada link but you change the country in the top upper right hand corner.

You’ve opened up your relationship or decided to explore non-monogamy, and at first, you’re excited — until BOOM — you're hit with a wave of feelings: jealousy, insecurity, anger, hurt...

You pump the brakes and set up rules to try to protect yourself and your partners from all this discomfort.

But it doesn’t work.

The rules feel punitive, like you're on a leash (and not the fun, kinky kind), and you're still overwhelmed with emotions.

In this episode, we’re talking about the difference between rules, boundaries, and agreements — and why shifting from punitive rules to collaborative agreements is the real key to feeling secure.

We introduce the Values-Based Agreement™ Model we developed and teach our clients, and share what it looks like in our own relationship!

We also dive into:

• Common rules couples often try (like vetos, partner approvals, or “don’t fall in love” rules) and why they’re doomed to fail
• How to create Values-Based Agreements™ that everyone helps craft, consents to, and that truly support communication, reduce assumptions, and build trust
• Real examples of agreements from our own relationship and specific examples of agreements we've helped couples we work with create

As a bonus, we also dig into communication tools like active listening, plus tips for dealing with feedback, criticisms, and resentments — all key skills for creating stronger, more resilient relationships.

It’s a jam-packed episode full of practical tools, real talk, and real-world examples!

✨ If you want to dive even deeper into boundaries, check out our episode: Pardon Me But You’re Stepping On My Boundaries

Show Resources:

• Let’s Talk Polyamory Facebook Group & Community - ⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/letstalkpoly⁠⁠
• Mondays with Tara & André training on How to Free Myself From Resentments - in our private FB Group, Let’s Talk Polyamory - https://www.facebook.com/668591277/videos/671316904269389/ 
• Want to learn how to create agreements that work and have wildly successful, secure and sexy non-monogamous relationships? Join us for the Poly Newbies Digital Course - https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiesspecialoffer
• Join the waitlist and be the first to find out when our Little Book of Poly Love is out with all the HOT words from A-Z! ⁠⁠https://go.letstalkpolyamory.com/polylovebook-waitlist⁠
• Looking for therapy? Reach out to host André Turcotte and book a consultation call at [email protected]
• Looking for coaching support?  Book a consultation call with Tara - ⁠https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue⁠ 

We’re back with another episode in our T&A Alphabet Series, where we tackle big topics around non-monogamy, relationships, and sex — one letter at a time. Originally broadcast as a live training in our Let’s Talk Polyamory private Facebook Community, this episode is all about the letter H - H is for Sexual HEALTH and HAIR!

While it can be an uncomfortable subject for some (at least until you get used to it), being open about sexual health and regular testing is crucial — especially when you have multiple sexual partners. For us, getting tested regularly has become a badge of honour, not something to be embarrassed about.

In this episode, we break down the difference between an STD (Sexually Transmitted Disease) and an STI (Sexually Transmitted Infection), and why the shift in terminology matters. We talk about removing the stigma around testing, STIs, and sexuality — and how to navigate those conversations with partners in a way that’s honest, caring, and responsible.

We share the kinds of tests you should ask for (because not everything is included by default), and discuss ways to reduce or prevent the incidence of STIs. Yes, we talk about condoms and barriers — but also about vaccines (like HPV and Hepatitis), rinsing your mouth and washing your hands between partners, and even bringing our own safer sex kits to parties and clubs.

And then we shift gears — but stay close to the skin — with a chat about HAIR ... especially the hair down there. We unpack how history, pop culture and media have influenced how we feel about hair, and how that connects to our sense of self, body image, self-worth, and how we show up in intimate moments.

Some people love it, some hate it, some wax it, some grow it — and some braid it if they’re feeling fancy. Whatever your vibe, we’re here to say: there’s no “right” way to be hairy… or not. What matters is choice, consent, and comfort — just like every other part of your sexuality.

Oh — and yes, we throw in a few bonus “H” words along the way. 😉

As always, there’s some laughter, some real talk, and important info for anyone who is sexually active — no matter your relationship style.

Show Resources:

• Need support in having wildly successful, secure and sexy non-monogamous relationships? Join us for the Poly Newbies Digital Course - https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiesspecialoffer
• Let’s Talk Polyamory Facebook Group & Community - ⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/letstalkpoly⁠⁠
• Join the waitlist and be the first to find out when our Little Book of Poly Love is out with all the HOT words from A-Z! ⁠⁠https://go.letstalkpolyamory.com/polylovebook-waitlist⁠
• Looking for therapy? Reach out to host André Turcotte and book a consultation call at [email protected]
• Looking for coaching support?  Book a consultation call with Tara - ⁠https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue⁠ 

You know that feeling when you get a new car? It’s shiny, exciting, full of possibilities—and your imagination runs wild. But then reality hits: taxes, car payments, insurance, maintenance… and suddenly, the fantasy doesn’t quite match the day-to-day.

Opening up a monogamous relationship can feel the same way. The excitement of exploring non-monogamy can cause folx to skip over some crucial steps—only to find themselves overwhelmed or unprepared.

In this episode, we break down three essential things to do before (or even after) you start dating others:

1. Determine your ideal relationship style, what you value, and your personal boundariesGet clear on what works for you based on your needs for emotional and sexual exclusivity, your core values, and the limits that help you feel secure.

2. Have essential conversations with your partner(s)Talk about what you each want, share boundaries, co-create what works for you as a unit, and build a Values-Based Agreement™ to guide you forward.

3. Check in regularly and revisit your agreementsKeep communication open and honest as things evolve. Your relationship is a living thing—it needs maintenance to thrive.

Whether you're just beginning your journey or already navigating the waves of non-monogamy, these steps can help prevent common pitfalls and keep your connection strong.

Think of our Poly Newbies Digital Course as the “insurance policy” for your open relationship journey. And if you’ve already hit a few bumps in the road, it’s the perfect tune-up to get you back on track. Find out more here - https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiesspecialoffer

🎧 Related episodes to check out next:

Show Resources:

• Let’s Talk Polyamory Facebook Group & Community - ⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/letstalkpoly⁠⁠
• Looking for sex+ psychotherapy? Reach out to host André Turcotte and book a consultation call at ⁠[email protected]⁠
• Looking for poly-friendly coaching support?  Book a complimentary consultation call with co-host Tara - ⁠⁠https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue⁠⁠ 
• Book by Dr. Liz Powell - Building Open Relationships - https://drlizpowell.com/buildingopenrelationshipsbook/
• Join the waitlist and be the first to find out when our Little Book of Poly Love is out with all the polyamory words from A-Z! ⁠⁠https://go.letstalkpolyamory.com/polylovebook-waitlist⁠

⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode includes discussions about discrimination, bullying, aggression, and suicide. Trans and non-binary people continue to face widespread hostility, including physical and verbal attacks, online harassment, exclusion in schools and workplaces, and restrictive laws that limit their rights. If you need support, please reach out to:

• The Trevor Project (U.S.) – www.thetrevorproject.org

• Trans Lifeline (U.S. & Canada) – www.translifeline.org

• Egale Canada – www.egale.ca

• LGBT YouthLine (Canada) – www.youthline.ca

March 31 is International Transgender Day of Visibility, a day to celebrate trans and non-binary people while recognizing the challenges they continue to face. In this important episode of the podcast - Polyamory & Transgender Inclusion, Visibility & Allyship - we cover:

• Understanding Identity – The differences between biological sex, gender identity, gender expression, sexual orientation, and relational identity
• Why Visibility Matters – How representation influences acceptance, mental health, and societal change
• Polyamory & Inclusion – The role of identity in relationships and how to create more inclusive polyamorous spaces
• The Current Climate for Trans People – The rise of anti-trans rhetoric, policies, and restrictions around the world
• How to Be an Ally – Actions we can all take to support trans people in personal life, workplaces, and communities

Trans people are facing increasing threats to their rights, from healthcare restrictions to limitations in schools, sports, and public spaces. Many also experience harassment, violence, and exclusion, making visibility and allyship more important than ever. It’s crucial for all of us—especially in polyamorous communities—to stand up, advocate, and create spaces where everyone belongs.

Listen now and let’s work together to build a world where everyone has a place.

Please comment with your favourite trans voices to follow!

📢 Share this episode to spread awareness, uplift trans voices, and help create a more inclusive world.

Learn more. Be visible. Be inclusive. Be an ally.

Show Resources:

• GLAAD - https://glaad.org/tdov/ and https://glaad.org/transgender
• PFLAG - ⁠www.pflag.org⁠ and https://pflag.org/transgender-day-of-visibility/
• Egale Canada - ⁠www.egale.ca⁠
• The 519 (Toronto-based LGBTQ+ support) - ⁠www.the519.org⁠
• Contact legislators to support trans rights - Canada - https://www.ourcommons.ca/members/en and United States https://www.usa.gov/elected-officials
• Let’s Talk Polyamory Facebook Group & Community - ⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/letstalkpoly⁠⁠
• Looking for therapy? Reach out to host André Turcotte and book a consultation call at ⁠[email protected]⁠
• Looking for coaching support?  Book a consultation call with Tara - ⁠⁠https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue⁠⁠ 
• Poly Newbies Digital Course - https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiescourse

We're back with another T&A Alphabet Series episode, where we break down big topics in non-monogamy, relationships, and sex—one letter at a time! Originally aired as live trainings in our Let’s Talk Polyamory private Facebook Community and on YouTube, this episode is all about the letter G—and trust us, it’s a GREAT one!

We start with ⚡️GGG - Good, Giving, and GameDan Savage coined this term, and we break it down with a special clip from him (link in show notes!).

• Good 🛏️—Being skilled in bed (yes, it’s a learnable skill!).
• Giving 🎁—Offering pleasure without expecting it in return. We also sneak in a definition of sexual communal strength.
• Game 🎲—Willing to explore your partner’s desires (within reason!).

We also share how to invite feedback so you can become good, practice being giving, and embrace being game in both polyamory and sex.

Then it’s all about the💥 G-AREA, unpacking it’s history, why it’s not just a spot, and share hot tips (plus handy diagrams!) to help you find it—along with other fun zones like the O and A spots!

💦 And then there’s GROOL… If you’ve never heard of it, you’ll definitely want to tune in! 

Plus, we discuss GSERD, GANGBANGS, and even the different types of ejaculate from people with vulvas. (Yes, we go there!)

Want to go from GRRR… to GREAT in your open or polyamorous relationships? Our Poly Newbies Course is here to help—it's truly the GIFT that keeps on GIVING 🎁🔗 ⁠https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiesspecialoffer⁠

Show Resources:

• If you want to learn more about how to join our group program, check out this link - https://go.taraandandre.com/polyamorymastery  
• Dan Savage clip on the meaning of GGG - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjavnXMQnHQ 
• Let’s Talk Polyamory Facebook Group & Community - ⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/letstalkpoly⁠⁠
• Join the waitlist and be the first to find out when our Little Book of Poly Love is out with all the FUN words from A-Z! ⁠⁠https://go.letstalkpolyamory.com/polylovebook-waitlist⁠
• Looking for therapy? Reach out to host André Turcotte and book a consultation call at ⁠[email protected]⁠
• Looking for coaching support?  Book a 15 minute chat with Tara - https://go.taraandandre.com/15mincoffeechat 

We’re back with another episode in our T&A Alphabet Series, where we tackle big topics one letter at a time (with plenty of laughs along the way)! Originally aired as live trainings in our Let’s Talk Polyamory Facebook Community, this episode is all about the letter F—and oh boy, do we have some fabulous F-words for you!

From the most famous F-word (F*ck, obviously) to all the fun, freaky, and fascinating F-words that spice up our sexual & polyamorous lives, we’re diving deep into:

🔥 The 4 Fs (there’s more than one version—listen in to find out!)💋 First dates (the good, the bad, and the fumbly)👩‍❤️‍👨 Foursomes (and the juicy dynamics of 3+ connections)🌈 Sexual Fluidity (because labels are flexible, just like us)🍆 Fornicating & Fellatio (because we’re here for pleasure)🎩 Fly Jockey (with a throwback to '70s porn & why sex clubs need coat hooks!)🏳️‍🌈 Friend of Dorothy & Friend of Bill (and the fascinating origins of these phrases)🚃 Frotteurism & Frotteuristic Disorder (yep, we go there)😱 FEAR (the F-word we love to hate—and all the ways it shows up)

But that’s not all! We also take a deep dive into Fetishes, Fetishism, and Racial Fetishization—breaking down stigmas and normalizing sexuality in all its fantastic and fluid forms.

So grab your favorite F-drink (Fireball?? Fanta?), find a comfy spot, and let’s f*cking talk about it! 🔥🎧

If opening your relationship or exploring polyamory is a lot less FUN than you imagined or your constantly putting out FIRES, (and not the sexy kind) our Poly Newbies Course can help. It’s designed to guide you step-by-step on building a secure foundation so you can experience the pleasure and enjoyment you imagined when you first decided to become non-monogamous. Find out more here: https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiesspecialoffer

Show Resources:

• Let’s Talk Polyamory Facebook Group & Community - ⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/letstalkpoly⁠
• Join the waitlist and be the first to find out when our Little Book of Poly Love is out with all the FUN words from A-Z! ⁠https://go.letstalkpolyamory.com/polylovebook-waitlist
• Looking for therapy? Reach out to host André Turcotte and book a consultation call at [email protected]
• Looking for coaching support?  Book a consultation call with Tara - ⁠https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue⁠ 

Welcome to the fifth instalment of our T&A Alphabet Series, where we break down big topics one letter at a time complete with stories and some laughs along the way! Originally recorded as a live training in our Let’s Talk Polyamory private Facebook community and on YouTube, this episode is all about the letter E:

✨ E is for Ethical Non-Monogamy: What Makes It Ethical?

You might be thinking…Wait… Didn’t you already cover this in C is for Consensual Non-Monogamy, Communication… and Cookies!?

Great question! While consensual non-monogamy (CNM) and ethical non-monogamy (ENM) are often used interchangeably, there are some subtle differences which is why someone might use one or the other. We explore what those differences are and what truly makes a relationship ethical (or not).

💡 Other Key Topics:🔹 Why transparency is essential for avoiding misunderstandings & drama🔹 The risks & rewards of openly declaring your non-monogamy🔹 What happens when one partner wants to be monogamous and the other doesn’t

We also answer some community questions including:✅ Is a Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DADT) policy still ethical?✅ Is breaking an agreement unethical?✅ Can there be cheating in ENM?✅ When and why do we need to announce that we’re non-monogamous?

📢 Plus, we toss in some bonus E words: ejaculation, erotocentrism, and the difference between envy vs. jealousy!

Tara also shares personal experiences from coming out to her family as polyamorous and the challenges that followed. Want more? Check out related videos in our Let’s Talk Polyamory private Facebook group (links in the show notes!).

🎧 Hit play & let’s talk polyamory!

Show Resources:

• Let’s Talk Polyamory Facebook Group & Community - ⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/letstalkpoly⁠

• Video: How to talk to parents about being polyamorous or in an open relationship - https://youtu.be/UxYecGOZ3WY?si=OaNmNcBea2bA27sH 
• Guide 4: Hot Topics in group where coming out videos are housed: https://www.facebook.com/groups/letstalkpoly/learning_content/?filter=230771232079665 

• Be the first to find out when our Little Book of Poly Love is out. Join the waitlist here: ⁠https://go.letstalkpolyamory.com/polylovebook-waitlist
• Looking for therapy? Reach out to host André Turcotte and book a consultation call at [email protected]
• Looking for coaching support?  Book a consultation call with Tara - ⁠https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue⁠ 

Welcome to the fourth instalment of our T&A Alphabet Series where we tackle big topics one letter at a time (and throw in some laughs along the way). Originally broadcast as live trainings in our Let’s Talk Polyamory private Facebook Community and on YouTube, this episode is all about the letter D with our topic D is for DRAMA: 5 Things to Address Drama & Chaos in Relationships.

With so many fun D-words out there (we know what you’re thinking… 🍆), why focus on drama? Because at the time of recording, we had just navigated a “dramatic episode” in our own relationships—something rare for us but important to work through. In this episode, we break down exactly how we handled it and the lessons we learned.

Unnecessary relationship drama often comes down to a few key issues: a need for control, poor communication, a craving for validation, or a lack of self-awareness. Drama doesn’t just show up uninvited—you either create it, invite it, or surround yourself with people who bring it.

In this episode we cover:✅ How drama manifests in relationships✅ How to recognize when you’re escalating it (or causing it)✅ The 5 things you can do to de-escalate drama and restore balance✅ The connection between attachment styles and drama

And a lot more!

If opening your relationship or exploring polyamory has felt like a never-ending cycle of drama, conflict, and emotional fires, our Poly Newbies Course can help. It’s designed to guide you step-by-step on building a secure foundation so you can experience the pleasure and enjoyment you imagined when you first decided to become non-monogamous. You can find out more here - https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiesspecialoffer

Show Resources:

• Let’s Talk Polyamory Facebook Group & Community - ⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/letstalkpoly⁠
• Be the first to find out when our Little Book of Poly Love is out. Join the waitlist here: ⁠https://go.letstalkpolyamory.com/polylovebook-waitlist
• Looking for therapy? Reach out to host André Turcotte and book a consultation call at [email protected]
• Looking for coaching support?  Book a coaching consultation call with Tara - ⁠https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue⁠