So, here’s the thing, we all have suffered our own traumas in childhood. Shelby lost her mom at an early age and had to navigate that feeling of abandonment and struggled with forming an unconditional bond with a new mother, which caused her to feel as though the only way she could "prove" herself worthy of love and acceptance was to embody perfectionism.

Trinity's biological father left at a very early age, never to return. Then, when her sister's father stepped into their lives, it was tumultuous. He was threatening and abusive and, as a result, they fled the home at a young age and lived under assumed names. As a consequence, we all grew up with some confusing expectations of who our parents were supposed to be. 

Shelby felt her stepmother was perfect and almost super human and that she, too, had to be flawless to win her affection. Consequently, she's practically killed herself striving for perfectionism in her relationships with her significant other, friends, and children to her own detriment, sacrificing herself in the process.

And Trinity, who lacked that father figure...the "ultimate protector" never felt safe and, instead, she became the protector of everyone herself and feels like she's constantly required to "save" those that I love. I mean, Trinity actually spent time this week learning how to connect her iPhone to satellite so that, when the apocalypse comes, she's prepared and we're not joking! She's constantly looking over her shoulder and living this life has impacted her tremendously.

Living these lives have caused us both self-doubt and created an atmosphere in which we're constantly hustling to the point of burnout and loss of personal identity because I spend so much time trying to please or take care of other people. We don't even know who we are or what makes US happy any more. 

And it is weird because now Trinity suddenly finds herself on her own and looking in the mirror and realizing that SHE the only one that she has to take care of now. She finally has the space to catch her breath and look around and, for the first time ever, she has the time to contemplate these traumas and their impact and begin to come face to face with her own patterns.

And that's where our guest today, Amy Schadt, comes in. She’s all about helping women finally confront and heal these deep, core wounds—especially that ‘Father Wound,’ which, let’s face it, so many of us carry. Amy's not just talking about forgiving your parents and moving on. She has this incredible method that helps you really embrace healing—mind, body, and soul.

She calls it the *Radical Embodiment Method,* and it’s all about reflecting on those old traumas, releasing the anger and sadness, and then re-envisioning your life without those chains. Amy's approach is all about helping women let go of those old patterns we’ve been stuck in for decades, so we can finally live the lives we were meant to.

Honestly, middle age is the perfect time to do this. We’ve spent so long running on autopilot, we don’t even realize how much these unhealed wounds have been shaping our choices. Amy helps us to stop, pay attention, and heal for real—so we can abandon the self-doubt, people-pleasing, and all those ways we’ve been playing small.

Let’s be honest—we’ve been carrying this baggage for way too long, and it’s time to let that shit go. We deserve to step into our power without being weighed down by our past.

In this episode, Amy teaches us:

1. The father wound is a feeling of loss when we have certain expectations of our father figure that go unfulfilled and that leaves us with a sense of wounding or trauma as a result. This can happen when our father is not present at all, present and abusive, or simply a close bond is not formed.
2. The first step in healing the father wound is through empathy. Most parents do the best they can with the knowledge and experience they have. We can be empathetic with our fathers by looking into their past, understanding their wounds, the nature of their relationships with their parents, and the experiences that have shaped them as men and fathers.This gives us perspective WHY they behave the way they do and, perhaps, even recognize they are not capable of being the father we (think) we want and need.
3. On some level, we don’t even know what is missing. When you don’t have something in your life, you are only operating under an assumption as to what you perceive a father should be. We only know what we’ve been told is missing or an “idea” of what a father is based on TV and other narratives or constructs that we’ve been given. Part of healing is letting go of these false narratives and asking ourselves if I’m really missing out on something that we never had.
4. To adopt new behaviors, identify people in your life who embody the behaviors you desire. Then ask yourself what are THEY doing that demonstrates resilience or confidence and then adopt those behaviors yourself. Part of the key is for YOU to determine what these things mean to you.
5. You are where you’re supposed to be! Right in this moment…where is the lesson? What can you do now to be stronger or better. We only live in the present moment. There is not yesterday, there is no tomorrow, only right here and now.

To find more of Amy:

Website | amyschadt.com

radicalembodimentmethod.com

And, girl, if you've been feeling stuck and wondering how to move forward, you are not alone. We've been developing the tools and resources you need to uncover and heal these traumas so you can live your best life. Meet us in the middle at dearmidlife.com to gain access to the tools and resources that will help you level-up your life.