this episode might get me cancelled or at the very least my mom, bf & friends will hate me lol. are these hot takes too hot?? brunch is not fun, fight me. swifties, plz take it easy on me. i think i think too much. i think?? shaking a$$ to teardrops on my guitar. nothing happy about happy hour. it’s all fun and games until “rent-a-mom” gets picked up on shark tank. for a girl that doesn’t leave her house or drink, i’ve been leaving my house and drinking. why is everybody sober????? :/
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steve jobs crashed my podcast. smart cars, smart devices, dumb people. “are you pooping or are you stuck?" the thing that inspires me also burns me out. eff the “performance bubble.” small talk is one of the most important skills. remember when we had to deal with awkward silence? get bored on purpose. i wish lumosity sponsored this episode. i used to memorize shampoo bottles lol. no but seriously why is my poop green? golden goose sneakers are ugly stop fighting me on this. being a person is exhausting. ppl be PISSING me off. “i’m addicted to my phone, i’m a piece of sh*t, see you next Thursday!”

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most people that are successful are not talented. you don’t have to be the best to be the best. i blacked out over a gold fish. my first time was a gravity b0ng??? did she just say women are bad drivers??? imposter syndrome is funny. nara smith knows who I am. acceptance means survival, rejection means danger. pursuing the thing you love is a luxury. cracking people’s hard shells is my favorite sport. throw sh*t at the wall.
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the cheugiest episode yet. i think i’m ruining society? hear me out - your birthday is not about you, sorry. millennials were never taught how to deal with their emotions. you’re sad? ok so just be happy lol. a netti pot almost killed me. reverse osmosis water is pretentious. i cheated on my lifeguard test. i hope red bull doesn’t sue me. i’m gonna talk about fight club. my most awkward job interview ever. tales of working at a celeb-studded LA restaurant. i think you might laugh????
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the episode where u ask for advice & I attempt to give it. lol, giddy up. friend break-ups, situationships, dating, living with your significant other, collecting data, staying motivated. my bf is a sociopath, my dog is a c*nt, my dad might have accidentally downloaded p0rn??? clarity is acknowledgment that there is doubt. you’re going to lose friends. your 30s are the best years. you’re getting manipulated, period. what did I do for the last 10 years??? the importance of being delusional. f*ck a niche.

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i crashed out on the internet. my alt title was “crash course on crashing out.” boundaries SUCK. guilt is a sign that you’re growing. “idc what people think” is sexy until your nervous system gets involved. teach people how to treat you. did she just say “waft your own farts???” the algorithm favors chaos. art and boundaries. growth and relatability. success and mental health. insert more shiny words here**** i can’t be everything to everyone all the time. i also can’t tell time. idk, I went to a liberal arts college.
see you on thursdays.
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if im not working, am I even worth anything? productivity is my toxic trait. well…1 of many. we’re addicted to achievement over growth. we identify with our careers rather than who we are as people. if we stop defining ourselves by achievement, what are we left with? do we even like that person? f*ck I think im turning into my mother. ratatouille is the greatest movie of all time. do celebrities get diarrhea? because remember, at the end of the day…the days gotta end.
see you on thursdays.
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i literally had a panic attack before filming this episode. i got dumped in a club by my “friends.” i think they blackballed me from hollywood? lol jk... not rlly jk?? la chewed me up and spit me out. friendships can be a joke. save every single screenshot and back it up to the cloud!!!! ugh!!! it’s a dog eat dog world and I don’t want to eat any dogs!!! moving to a new place is scary. you’ll never know what you want but you can figure out what you don’t want and that’s just as important. date different friends. don’t let the world harden you. accept that ppl WILL f*ck you over. pick yourself up. and start again. you’re not alone ❤️
see you on thursdays.
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a reformed coachella hater goes to coachella and lives to tell the story. the internet is weird. not everything needs to be a “story time” (unless you have a podcast obvi lol). the one & only time I did dr*gs and thought I was dying. I can’t believe I’m telling this story. I’m sorry mom, it’ll never happen again!

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live footage of me absolutely crashing out. 4 trips from hell. can’t make this sh*t up guys. my nipple fell off. me & sutton stracke were going through it. we filmed the 6th hunger games movie on my flight. shot of vodka and a couple almonds?? lost dog? found dog? murderer in the neighborhood? he ran off a plane with $65. is someone breaking into my hotel room??? can someone get this f*cking piece of hair off my face omg. i had an allergic reaction in the middle of the ocean. 10 toddlers or 10 john cenas? i laugh so I don’t cry.

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